"Men should be EMT's or Doctors!"

[Antikigirl]

So our floor had this little old lady who was basically your general pain in the keester. Declined meds, treatments, tests...and was needy as all get go but no one could satisfy her. Very bold woman who likes things her way...and no other..family was the same and catered to her every whim...which didn't help us out at all! It was like she was on respite not being treated for a medical probelm!

We have this wonderful male nurse who is kind and very realistic when it comes to women having a probelm with male nurses during certain things (like bathing, cath, tolieting, etc.) and we always help him out in those cases. Well...I guess this woman read him the riot act saying that males should NEVER be nurses, they should get a set of testies and be a EMT or Doctor! Then she excused him from the room saying to never even step towards the door...this was just seconds after he introduced himself!!!!

I was furious!!!!! Here is this lady who actually is about 90 and was an editor for a major newspaper and she is being sexist??? Okay I think when she was trying for editor she had her share of sexism in her day!!! I was just so peved!

I took over care for her because she liked me quite a bit...and I had a little talk with her. I told her that I knew her son was an EMT, and my hubby is a paramedic. That I know that many EMT's and paramedics would like to switch to RN because of the pay, and actually getting to know a patient for more than 5-15 minutes in a screaming ambulance. Because of HIPAA they are not 'in the know' about their patients once they transfer care...so they stablize some of the worse things and never get to hear an outcome! So nursing can be quite nice because you can see what happens beyond the ER doors! I also reminded her and had her share stories of how it was like being a female editor....after that is sunk in to her what she had done, and she felt very sorry..but remained bull headed about not letting him in.

I think I did well...I knew this lady wouldn't respond to anything to put her defenses up, so I had to be patient and make her think of the reasons why she said what she did, and HERSELF come to the conclusion with a little proding from me that it was very insensitive and wrong.

I then talked to the nurse and we had a good laugh and he was fine, and then we both went to the charge nurse and wrote an incident report for verbal abuse and sexism towards the nurse. I felt that was right to do since you shouldn't ever treat a professional that only wants to help you (even if you are a pain in the keester big time) get well!

Basically I really made him see things in the right perspective by just saying "it really doesn't matter with her or some people what sex or color you are...they just want to make you miserable for some reason...just the lazy ones with no creativity choose sex or color because it is easier than actually getting to know a person! Plus hon...I think if she said anything positive or even smiled her head would cave in from the pressure! LOL!!!!".

Don't let the turkeys get ya down folks...

[ECGMan]

Hi,

I am a male nurse and run a cardiology unit in a hospital in Sydney Au. I deal with patients of all ages and both male and female during the course of a day. On the whole most patients respect that you have a job to do, mine is ECG (EKG's) on patients'.As long as you perform your job in a professional manner, and reassure the patient about the reasons of your actions most will accept your interventions. You will always will have some who are embarressed or unco-operative. I have a female member of staff on the odd occasions this happens which has happened in about 8 times in the past 23 years.

Most patients will accept a male nurse who acts in a professional manner, attempting to provide helpful information about their health as they do in their medical practioners.

[Valanda]

There is a difference, Tom.

It is one thing for a female to reject a male caregiver, because of modesty or emotional discomfort with his gender rendering personal care. That is clearly not a sexist act.

It is quite another to reject him, by saying that he needs to grow some testes and be an MD/EMT (as though he is not a "real" man, or that "real" men cannot be nurses) ...that is a form of highly inflammatory sexist bias. And then to tell him never to enter the door, because of this.

And being 90 years old, is not an adequate excuse for being a sexist witch, just as it isn't for being racist. If anything else, she should have learned better by now.

In the interest of promoting more care in people's choice of words, I'd like to point out that there are a growing number of Wiccan's and other pagans who take offense at the use of the term "witch" in such a derogatory way. I just found it odd that so many of these posts speak of racism, bigotry and predjudice, yet this slur passed unnoticed.

[tvccrn, ASN, RN]

In the interest of promoting more care in people's choice of words, I'd like to point out that there are a growing number of Wiccan's and other pagans who take offense at the use of the term "witch" in such a derogatory way. I just found it odd that so many of these posts speak of racism, bigotry and predjudice, yet this slur passed unnoticed.

It's because religious prejudice is one of the last accepted prejudices there is along with prejudice against people who are overweight.

**Proud to be both a witch and overweight**

tvccrn

[nursemike, ASN, RN]

Do you really believe it doesn't bother us?

On the other hand--from personal experience--it beats the heck out of being "fired" (by a patient, not an employer) for incompetence. (Hey, I was new...)

And the reverse of the coin, it's pretty darn nice when a patient says, "I wasn't sure I would like having a male nurse, but you're nice. I hope you're back tonight." I have had a few like that, and it feels like a moral victory of some sort.

I don't love "male nurse," but it's hard to avoid, sometimes. I have actually described someone as "the red-headed nurse," not because I believe that's a specialized field of nursing, but because it was her most salient distinguishing feature, and the patient couldn't remember her name.

[nursemike, ASN, RN]

It's because religious prejudice is one of the last accepted prejudices there is along with prejudice against people who are overweight.

**Proud to be both a witch and overweight**

tvccrn

I suspect "witch" may have been a typo. Not in your post. The one by caroladybelle. Meaning no offense to those who proudly emulate female canines, either.

[teeituptom, BSN, RN]

There is a difference, Tom.

And being 90 years old, is not an adequate excuse for being a sexist witch, just as it isn't for being racist. If anything else, she should have learned better by now.

Considering the eras that she grew up in and lived through. I find that to be quite an adequate excuse.

just because she is 90, doesnt mean she has to be Mother Theresa

[teeituptom, BSN, RN]

In the interest of promoting more care in people's choice of words, I'd like to point out that there are a growing number of Wiccan's and other pagans who take offense at the use of the term "witch" in such a derogatory way. I just found it odd that so many of these posts speak of racism, bigotry and predjudice, yet this slur passed unnoticed.

This just goes to prove that nowadays. There is absolutely nothing that anyone can say, that somewhere, somehow, someway who will and can find something wrong with whatever you say.

THANK GOD thinking is still safe

Hooray the Democrats kicked Republican _____!!!!!!!!

[teeituptom, BSN, RN]

Got to take issue with Teeituptom.

Turning 90 or 100 or whatever does not give one carte blanche to treat people like dirt. No one ever earns the right to "feel whatever way they want to feel." What if she starting making racist or other blatantly bigoted remarks? You going to stand around and just let her feel whatever way she wants?

No, TriageNurse_34 had the right perspective. Respond to bigotry when you see it -- use your judgement on how best to respond -- Try to gently explain it to the person to change his or her mind -- it may not work, but at least there's a chance you'll be successful. Whereas the approach Teeituptom endorses, simply guarantees the status quo and thus assures that attitudes will not change.

TriageNurse -- Three cheers.

Teeituptom -- Please reconsider.

One, not a chance on reconsidering

two. we have the absolute right to "feel whatever way we want to feel"

Feelings are our own.

Now legally we no longer have the right of free speech. That has been callously stripped away from us by the Republicans.

Personally I prefer the status quo as opposed to having our previous rights stripped away from us slowly but inexhorably.

HOORAY THE DEMOCRATS TOTALLY KICKED SOME REPUBLICAN_______!!

[teeituptom, BSN, RN]

There is a difference, Tom.

It is quite another to reject him, by saying that he needs to grow some testes and be an MD/EMT (as though he is not a "real" man, or that "real" men cannot be nurses) ...that is a form of highly inflammatory sexist bias. And then to tell him never to enter the door, because of this.

And being 90 years old, is not an adequate excuse for being a sexist witch, just as it isn't for being racist. If anything else, she should have learned better by now.

Personally I would have found it very amusing if she had said that to me. And I would have thought she was very sweet. I never would have been wimpy enough to take offense at it. Trust me there are a lot more things in this world to find offense with

Hooray, Demos rule the House and the Senate

[CrazyPremed, MSN, RN, NP]

Even though the woman may have grown up in a different era, she's living in today's world. She also grew up in time when segregation was legal. Should keep all minority workers away from her too? I'm completely understanding of many things - as a male nursing student and health care worker for 6+ years - but I have definite limits. My job is to provide health care, not serve as a sounding board for sexual, racial, religious, or any other type of discrimination. Just because a person isn't used to seeing a nurse/phleb/tech/whatever that looks like me, doesn't mean that I want to hear how wrong they think it is. Period. She also grew up in time when segregation was legal. Should we keep all minority workers away from her, too?

Nobody ever cured disease by listening to discriminatory ramblings.

What's funny to me is that many female pt's may have problems with a male nurse bathing them or taking an EKG, but have no problem with a male doctor performing a pelvic or delivering their baby. Oh, well. I guess I'll finally get my respect when I have MD behind my name .

CrazyPremed

[K.L.A.]

It is nice to know that someone has our backs when faced with such an attitude. She needs to wake up and realize that she is not still living in the 19th century. She also needs to understand that not everybody wants to be an EMT and most people can't afford to attend med school.We do, however want to get our foot into the health field and nursing gives us that opportunity, beside that nursing is a really good field to be in. Thanks again.

[RN34TX]

Considering the eras that she grew up in and lived through. I find that to be quite an adequate excuse.

just because she is 90, doesnt mean she has to be Mother Theresa

And just because we are nurses, doesn't mean that we have to be Mother Theresa either and have to take a patient's abuse.

Like I stated in a previous post, I have always made allowances for older patient's upbringing and generation when hearing offensive comments.

I realize that you can't always help the fact that you are a product of your upbringing and generation.

But there's a limit and that excuse can only go so far.

I grew up in an all white conservative town during a time when it was still acceptable to use derogatory terms for both Blacks, Asians, and gays...and still is acceptable today in that area.

Does that make it ok for me to still live my life as if I were still living in that town during that era when dealing with my co-workers, strangers on the street, and/or patients?