Frustrated with having to work

[SalishRN]

I am a nurse at a BMT unit. I have worked here for 11 years. I work 3 12 hr night shifts in a row then have 11 shifts off. That is my schedule ... 3 12 hrs shifts on. 11days off.

My problem is I am burnt on on working. Not necessarily on being a nurse. Just working. I hope I don't sound like a whiner. I just want to stay home and be a mom and a housewife. It is so hard to leave home. I know this is totally unreasonable.

I have to work. Everyone in the world has to work. But in my lizard brain I cannot let go of the, " oh I don't want to go to work". I have actually called in sick so often I think am am starting to get a bad reputation. This makes work even more difficult.

Part of the difficulty of me not wanting to go to work is:

1. Nursing is all policy and procedure. I feel as if I don't get it all or don't remember it all. Ecspecially working partime. Plus so many things change at my unit feel don't know all the changes from week to week. And I feel like I should know more than i do as I am a senior nurse. Knowing what to do for a crashing pt is getting more difficult for me, not easier. Grrr...why is this?

2. I am having a hard time dealing with difficult patients. Whether they be mean, demanding, rude or whiny. I just can't effectively handle them any more with out gritting my teeth and screaming silently in my head. Patients family members can alsobemore than I can deal with. It did not used to be like this, but it is now.

3. I want to stay home

Does anyone else HAVE to drag themselves to work because they have no choice to not work?

Changing jobs is not the answer. Where else am I going to get this schedule with no weekends and no holidays required to work,

No where that's the truth. Besides it's not this job that frustrates me it's any job.

I keep telling myself in today's job market I'm LUCKY to have a good job. Plus I provide the health insurance for my family.

How do you make yourself go to work? Or are you like most of my co workers and going to work is easy, no problem. I wish that were me.

[RNKPCE]

I agree the 11 days off sounds great but may be the problem. When I take a vacation and hit that hump day in the middle so for you day 5 or 6 off I keep thinking my vacation is almost over. Can you spread your days out? May be work 2 in a row then one isolated day.

The benefit of this is that if you have a problem patient you won't necessarily have them when you come back again.

Also you are hardly seeing your family during those 3 days in a row. I wouldn't like it either even if it were the dream job with the nicest patients or assignments in the world.

[TDCHIM]

Why do you plan to work at that particular place for 25 years, even though you're already miserable working there? Good lord, that thought alone would be enough to make me feel depressed!

To some degree I understand the desire to stay home, because you'd have more time to spend with your family. But believe me, it isn't all unicorns and rainbows staying at home all the time either! I attend school f/t, provide primary childcare for a very rambunctious preschooler, handle all the finances and bills, do all the cooking and the vast majority of the housework, and manage all the insurance and medical paperwork hassles (and they are legion in my household). I clip coupons and plan meals carefully from sale and extremely low-cost ingredients and basically wring every penny from my husband's low salary (we're what's euphemistically known as "working class.") I work on the landscaping and the garden in the spring and fall (I'm severely physically disabled and summer is the hardest time of year for me), and I spend most of each winter researching and obtaining estimates for the spring's big home improvement project. I have no money to do lunch with friends, and holidays/birthdays are always really tight. Right now, I'm dying to get into my field so I can exercise my mind, bring in decent money, farm out some of my cleaning duties, have some flexibility in my meals, and be able to save for holidays/college/retirement!

I'm not saying that to step on your vent, because it's a very valid one. I'm just saying it isn't necessarily all wonderful perfect happiness on the other side of the fence. For some people, staying at home is absolutely the right call and it's worth any sacrifice. I don't happen to be one of those people. It's quite possible that you are. Or maybe you'd benefit from new surroundings, new challenges, and new coworkers. You sound almost despondent over the thought of going to your job. I felt that way about one former workplace; when I no longer worked there, it was as though I felt the sun shining on me for the first time in years.

Best of luck to you, whatever you decide to do. When you're stuck doing something that genuinely seems to go against the grain of your personality, it's a rough road. There must be other options, even if the schedule isn't quite as cushy. Maybe just looking at other job options would make you feel a bit better. You'd know there are options out there, even if you stay in your current job. Is there any part of nursing that seems more interesting to you? Or anything on the fringe of nursing, like where nursing meets with other fields, that interests you? I hope you find an option that works better for you and your family.

[Vtachy1]

To me, health insurance is not the goal. I would rather risk it with an individual health insurance that is $10,000 deductible and use my HSA. To me the gamble is worth it. My family and I are so much healthier this way too. When I was working more hours, all of us were more sick and more stressed. Now I just work relief, independent contractor, and jobs that don't offer insurance that I can do part time or whenever I want to. And starting my own business to work from home.

[rn4ever?]

If money won't be an issue, why not try working part-time/cutting down your hours------instead of you getting burnt out and quitting totally later on? In some jobs, you can still purchase health insurance at an affordable rate if you are a part-timer.