Friend always wants to "take a look at" my work

[anashenwrath, ASN, RN]

My closest friend in class is a little bit of a procrastinator. He always barely passes his tests and is always panicking at the last minute over stuff. But he's a good friend and his heart is in the right place. I'm not one to judge, I think most of us procrastinate now and then.

However, he has a wincy habit that is starting to get on my nerves. Any assignment to be handed in, he wants to "look over" mine or "check out" what I did. This happens with our care plans, textbook comparisons, interventions, and even the take-home compliance test. It's not that he is outright wants to copy (and he usually can't, bcs we had different patients), I think he just knows he does a shoddy last-minute job and wants to use my work to buff his own.

The more we get into actual patient care, the less comfortable I am with him coasting. And I don't like him using my work to fill out his own. I spent hours pouring over Nanda, pulling primary sources, etc to get my care plans done. I'm proud of them and I don't like just handing that out as a guide. But I feel like bcs it's not exact copying, maybe I'm being a little petty and possessive of my work. Plus, he's a friend and he's helped me out when I'm having school-related emergencies, so I guess I feel bad leaving him hanging.

What do you think? Is showing him my careplans almost as bad as cheating, or is it just helping out--like a study guide, or like the careplans on this site that have helped me so much?

[snowyowl, BSN]

I think that you are putting yourself in a position that you really don't want to be in. You seem like a hard working student and it would be a shame for any instructor or professor to question the integrity of your work. I understand that your friend is putting you in a awkward position but a real friend would not want you to put you in this situation.

Next time he asks to see your work, just explain that you are not comfortable doing that and move on. Also perhaps tell him where you were able to find your references and recommend that he uses those to complete his assignments rather than you.

[Nurse SMS, MSN, RN]

I think, like the poster above, that you are putting yourself in a potentially dicey situation.

Just tell him it is time for him to start standing on his own or you could simply turn the situation around on him and say "how about I just take a look at YOURS" and then offer him a few critiques. He is going to have to learn how to study for himself sooner or later.

[sugarmagnoliaRN]

Well said not.done.yet - take a look at his work and critique it! He may really learn something and hopefully won't keep looking over your shoulder...

[rn/writer, RN]

One approach is to talk to him after class when his adrenalin isn't likely to be pumping. Explain to him that you don't feel comfortable with his continued requests to look at your stuff because you feel like you're preventing him from developing confidence in his own work. Offer to take a look at his work, if he has doubts about something, but make your work off limits.

Or you can flat out tell him that you don't want to let him look at your work because you're enabling him to be a procrastinator and you don't want his future success or failure on your conscience.

Just don't let emotions get in the way. You don't have to be angry. You don't have to feel guilty. You spent time and effort on your answers and he apparently wants to avail himself of your good nature. Continue to offer the good nature, but keep your homework to yourself.

Best wishes.

[JROregon, ASN, BSN, RN]

My friend and I compare notes about once per term to see what kinds of things the other clinical instructors are looking for. We have patient preps that are about 9-12 pages long (we research the patients' conditions before clinicals and go through all the medications). Some of the students were turning in 30 page preps and my friends were about 20 pages. I showed her how to pare down the amount of work she was doing without losing the important stuff. She shared a paper with me that she got a better grade on. These examples are very different from you showing all or most of your work to a classmate before he's done his work. We all procrastinate but some would prefer not to do the work or do the bare minimum. We have a guy in class that did the very same thing. Eventually people in the class got wise to him and didn't give up their hard work.