I'm becoming a nervous wreck :(

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Specializes in Ortho, Case Management, blabla.

I've been lurking here for a while, I read a lot from time to time but don't post. I just need to get this out with some other people who I know will understand this. Because God knows no one else does, my family and friends have no clue.

Background; I'm in Level II of clinicals, and am about to finish up my 5 week pediatric rotation next week.

First of all, I was a full time CNA for a couple of years before I got into clinicals - so I am no stranger to the hospital setting. I did really well, got along well with my coworkers, felt really comfortable with patients, always got good evaluations, and was generally a good healthcare worker. I quit my job and burned that bridge because I figured I wouldn't have time to work and there was the possibility of being an extern on the horizon.

I did pretty well throughout fundamentals. I enjoyed the classmates in my lab group, got along and communicated with my instructor pretty well, worked hard on my care plans, did really well in the clinical setting, and did spectacularly on some of the exams.

I started this semester and this rotation has been a complete disaster for me. I don't know what happened...I totally bombed the first exam (have since pulled myself out of the hole, but barely), I don't feel like I am communicating very well with my instructor (I actually get the feeling she doesn't like me), my new lab group classmates treat me like a yutz, my care plans have gotten harsh treatment by the professor, and even the nurses at the hospital have been really condescending (I came around the corner the other day and they were talking about something they think I should have done but didn't do and how "slow" they think I am). Everytime the instructor has grabbed me to go pass meds I've frozen up and haven't been able to spit out the drug information stuff that I'm supposed to know so it makes me look super disorganized and unprepared. It's like my subconscious is telling me to say "1 milligram" but for some reason my mouth says "1.7" And then in post-conference I've been freezing up too, saying the wrong information or just mucking it up in general. I feel like I am communicating well with my patients, taking good care of them, and doing what I am supposed to do safely. But it seems like everyone else doesn't think I'm taking care of business or know what I'm doing. I've got this massive mental block and I don't know why.

I just don't feel good about this pediatrics rotation at all and I have this horrible dread that my instructor is going to pull me aside on the last day and make me repeat the class.

There...I feel better...well...not really.

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Specializes in Home Health Care.

Hang in there, you don't have long to go. You can do it. :icon_hug:

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You've made it this far, hang in there! If it makes you feel any better, I came out of med-surge thinking I had learned something, then when I started working with Peds I felt like I knew absolutely nothing. I'm SO glad peds is short!!!!

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Dear November,

Reread your post and notice how many times you're attributing to others what you THINK they are thinking, or supposing what they mean when they say whatever...

Keep centered on what you are actually learning and doing. When you screw up on a care-plan don't throw up your hands and get upset. Correct your mistakes. If you don't know what the mistakes or inadequacies were, get feed back from your clinical instructor. If you are having performance anxiety and feel like you're not exhibiting the competence you actually have, talk to your instructor about that.

Seriously, you're not the first student to stumble when they advance to another level of the nursing curriculum.

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Hang in there you will get it.

Hugs :icon_hug:

Shannon

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I just finished my peds rotation and I hated it. It was everything you say, with a healthy dose of heartbreak thrown in.

It's a short rotation, you're almost done. Take the criticsim and learn from it, but don't agonize over it.

Having said that, if you really think your instructor is gonna have a chat with you, beat him/her to the punch. Pull them aside now and explain your concerns - be open and honest and explain yourself. If it doesn't help, you can at least feel like you've attempted to remedy the situation and then put it to bed.

Amanda

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Specializes in CCRN.

I would say you're finding yourself in unfamiliar water. At first you had the skills and experience to draw from and felt very comfortable with what was expected. It appears now you are unsure, and that's ok. This is a learning experience. I can tell you every question I missed along with the correct answer and why I missed it since starting nursing school. But I cannot do the same for all of the ones I got correct. We learn from our missteps, from care plans that need to be corrected, and from not handling a situation the perfect way. I have found it is best to have my own goals in mind prior to clinical and then focus on those. This tends to keep me on track and focused. Take a moment to write down your post confrence notes so you don't appear unprepared. Go to your instructor and ask if you are meeting their expectations, or what you can do to step it up.

Good luck and hang in there!

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