Fixing the past?

Published

Specializes in School Nursing, Ambulatory Care, etc..

this may be a little long, but i'd appreciate any input.

last year, my first year as a school nurse, in the first week a student came to me c/o mosquito bites. although this isn't an excuse, it was the end of the day and i had just delt with a student i knew was faking but didn't know how to handle. i had also gotten run over all day by elem kids and was feeling very defeated. when this child came in, i asked her if the mosquito bites were "ruining her day". i put calamine on her and she went back to class. five mins later a teacher - the stu's mother - came in and fussed at me for being rude to her child. yes, i was wrong. no, there is no excuse.

fast forward to this year. same child was recently dx with dm and has to monitor bgl at school. she goes to her mother for all her care, because mom's here. i'm ok with this. in this state, we have a law that says certain things must be in place when you have a dm stu on capus. you must have certain supplies from the parent and an unlicensed diabetes care assistant that has been properly trained, among other things. mom, stu's teacher, myself, the person that will be the udca, the vp, and my boss all had a meeting earlier this week and went over these things.

today, mom is going on a field trip. she brought me a few snacks and the stu's bag, but told me that the stu will be going to "jane" (not her real name) to do her bgl check, insulin inject, etc. i told her that because jane hadn't been trained yet and i was on campus today, the stu would need to come to me for these things. she told me b/c i was rude to her daughter last year, her daughter didn't like me and that's why she would go to jane. i, as politely as i know how, told her that again, i was sorry for what happened, and the only was i could make it up to her daughter was to be allowed to make it up.

i don't know how to fix this. i did something wrong. i know that. i also know that i have done a lot of changing recently and am trying as hard as i can to make up for everything i did in the past, personal and professional. i feel frustrated because the more i try, the more stuff like this crops up and i feel like the weeds are choking me out.

thanks for listening.

sara

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Med Office, Home Health, School Nurse.

It's amazing how long some people can hold a grudge. I don't see that the comment you made was enough to keep that child from liking you a year later. Children don't typically hold grudges that long, but parents certainly can. I would repeatedly explain to her that due to regulations, her daughter has to come to someone who is part of that group. If she continues to give you resistance, I would make sure that your principal and anyone else you report to is aware of the situation.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

The parent is being dramatic and is teaching her daughter to act the same. We all make mistakes and not being able to forgive someone shows very poor character.

Anyway, wonder why the child could come to you for snacks/supplies? Why even involve you? If they are going to act that way. Who does she think is going to help her child if there is an EMERGENCY?!

I am not sure YOU can do anything to fix the problem- sounds like you have done all you can do to repair the relationship.

In my state, the UAP can only be utilized if the nurse is not available. And only RN's can give insulin in the school setting. So the student would HAVE to come to the nurse, when her Mom was not available. If it is different, in your state, then let the trained UAP handle the student's care. Not ideal IMO, but what else can you do. I would let the principal know about the situation.

Sorry you are dealing with this!! We ALL get tired, overwelmed and snappy. Part of being human.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in School Nursing.

In addition to the sound adivse above, I would ask the parent to put it in writing that she does not want the nurse involved in her child's care. If something goes wrong, I guarantee the nurse will be on the chopping block for it...ie "why were you not taking care of this student?"

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in school nursing, ortho, trauma.

I can;t add a whole lot to the advice you've been given. All of it's good. But it may behoove you to take a moment to discuss with the student's mom that you all need an opportunity to get past this. The bottom line is that people have bad days. When we're stressed and overworked, we become products of our environment and occasionally we may... just may.. be a little snappy. I am SURE you've NEVER had a student in your office or another staff member be rude to you. Just like i'm SURE that student and her mom are NEVER ever rude to anyone. If it were me i'd take the bull by the horns and make it a point to apologize to the student in front of the mom as an unplanned event - meaning catch them when they are together, but don't plan on meeting them for a "formal apology".

I'd say something like: I didn't realize you took my sassy remark so personally when i saw you last year for your mosquito bites. I was having a bad day and you felt some of the effects of it. I want you to know that you can feel free to come to my office if you ever need me and I am sorry if I made you uncomfortable.

The bottom line is that these people are really thin skinned. And while i'm not one to cowtow to somebody like that, you still have to work with mom so it's probably best to extend the olive branch - if they still don't come around and are self delegating tasks to unauthorized persons let your principal know and document the hack out of it.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in School Nursing, Ambulatory Care, etc..

[color=mediumturquoise]thank you! thank you! thank you! to all who gave encouraging words and reminded me of my human-like qualities today! all of you are truly a blessing.

:tku: :tku: :tku: :tku:

update:

jane came in with stu at lunch time and i sat down and explained to her that i would need to be the one to give the insulin but jane would be here the whole time. we talked about the importance of eating all of her lunch, and it all went off without a hitch.

at about 1330, i remembered mom had told me that stu has been going low d/t not eating all her lunch the past few days. jane had gone off campus on other business, so i went to the class room to check on the stu. she came up to me and said "my stomach hurts and i'm shaky". we checked her bgl and it was 50! i gave her an 8oz soda that mom had left, had her sit for 15 and rechecked (106). while she was here, i tried to make small talk, and she seemed ok toward me.

after school, mom came to get her bag and said "so she didn't go low today?" i told her what happened, and she was suprised that stu came to me. i told her i went to her because of what she had told me and i wanted to make sure stu was ok.

basically, i think today went well, but we will see what the future brings.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Fantastic outcome - thanks for sharing. Great sensitivity in repairing the damage and restablishing the relationship with the child and the parent.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in School Nursing.

Good work!

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Sounds like it went well! Glad to hear to hear it!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Add a Comment