First Year Out...Oh &%#@.

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Well, im a newbie that got lucky (Okay, not really, i pretty much said yes to the first place that was willing to hire me - far far in the middle of nowhere in one of the toughest places to practice nursing in the U.S).

I was wondering if others like me that managed to find a gig are finding themselves with a lot of mixed feelings about this... for instance - this is not what i thought this would be. I find myself doing more paperwork than actually dealing with patients, in fact i deal with families more than i deal with patients, crazy, right?

Either way, that's whatever - it's paper care not patient care, i can deal with that, what bugs me is that i feel f'n paranoid every day i go home from work - waiting for a phone call to say i messed up or did something wrong.. it drives me nuts. I feel like every older nurse around me is staring at me every time i do something - and don't get me wrong, i am not an idiot, i know what i'm doing..... 66% of the time. I get a lot of &%$# from older nurses during report and after, criticizing every little thing i did like MARS checks and admissions, orders and whatnot. Now i am not shy, i got in there and put on the big nurse shoes like everybody else, i am not afraid of what i do, but these older nurses are bugging the crap outta me, i feel like i can't trust them, and most of the time i feel like they are leaving me out to dry.

So i was just curious if anyone else feels like that, that iffy paranoid sick to your stomach what the heck am i doing wrong feeling? Or am i just being paranoid about this?

PS - I've been working for about 6 months, tele unit, 5-8 pts a night.

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Wait, they didn't tell you? In nursing school? That every single day you are fighting to "protect your license"? Oh my. Don't tell me that you weren't informed of this either: that "patient satisfaction" is determined by surveys & this is what drives hospital care? Wow. You're in for lots of surprises. There are MANY things that we were taught in nursing school that contradict the agenda of hospital bureaucracy - I won't even go there.

As for the older nurses, they'll think what they want about you & they'll treat you according to how their hormones woke up, either on the "right" or "wrong" side of the bed. The best advice I can give is to do what you do, let them criticize & try not to let their creepiness get the best of you. Over time (& I'm talking possibly several years) they will see that you are not an idiot & one day they will welcome you with open arms into their exclusive cult. They are well aware that it takes time to get into a decent patient care routine but they will give you a hard time about everything anyway, so just deal with it.

Why is it acceptable? Well, it isn't, but that's the culture of nursing. I will say this: don't shut them out completely because the older nurses have tons & tons of wisdom, & although their delivery could use some compassion & softness, I'm sure 99.9% of their concerns are totally valid. Learn from them what you can, allow it to improve your practice, & in time you will get the greatest reward of your career - the respect of the older nurses. Ha!

When I started as an LVN, I was the youngest nurse by at least 20 years & the majority of the staff had been working together for decades. You better believe they gave me a hard time, write-ups, passive-aggressive behavior & everything. When I became an RN, the mistreatment was even worse because I was working alongside my peers. In both cases, it took years for them to finally accept that I am capable of learning from my mistakes, I am NOT an idiot & my youth & inexperience actually had benefits. When I was able to "prove" myself, the tables were turned & they started to rely on me for things, seeing my strengths & allowing me to be a part of the give-&-take of knowledge.

Sorry you are having a hard time, but if you truly are not an idiot, things will get better. Don't let the growing pains of nursing get the best of you & try not to let your skin get so hard you don't feel anymore. I wish I had better advice for you, but cultural change doesn't happen overnight. Keep your patients safe & don't hurt yourself in the process. Good luck.

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Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.

​the first year of nursing sucks. it just sucks. pay attention to what the older nurses are telling you, because most of the time it's meant to help get you up to speed even if the delivery lacks something. as for the paperwork and families -- those are here to stay.

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Specializes in Psych ICU, addictions.

Welcome to Reality Shock, which they should have warned you about in nursing school.

Basically, it's the shock you experience when you transition from the ivory-tower world of textbook nursing. There, you only have three patients, all the resources and time you need at your disposal, you're part of a supportive and nurturing healthcare team, and your patient is pleasant, cooperative and responds predictably to every intervention you throw at them. This world stops at the NCLEX.

You are now in the the real world of nursing, where you have 2-3x the patients, less resources, a lot less time, patients are irritable and labile, and those interventions don't always seem to work as well as they should have. Oh yeah, supportiveness and nurturing varies widely, and hospitals are driven more by the almighty dollar and Press-Gainey scores, than they are by benevolence and caring about employees.

Sucks...yeah, yeah it does.

Keep in mind that it's not always you: it's also a steep learning curve ahead that you're tackling.

The prior posters had great advice. Keep it in mind. And hang in there...it does get better.

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Specializes in ER, progressive care.

All of the previous posters gave excellent advice. It does get better with time!

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Yes maam. I am a new grad. It sounds like you work at my hospital!

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