New Grad/Hate My Job/Life is Miserable!

After nearly four decades, I still remember my miserable, awful, no good first year of nursing vividly. It was my first full time job, the most responsibility I'd ever had and the achievement of a goal I had been working toward for years. The first year of nursing is miserable, it really is. Sometimes you are so miserable, you find yourself alienating your co-workers without realizing it. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Hang in there, and it will get better. Nurses New Nurse Article

The first year of nursing is miserable. Everyone is miserable during the first year of nursing. You go from being a college student to being responsible for a full load of patients, and you aren't sure you're up to it and you're worried about what would happen if you made a mistake. Not IF you made a mistake, but when you make one because you just know that you can't do this and you're going to kill someone. You go home worried about whether you did enough, noticed any potential harbingers of a decline in your patient status or passed on everything you needed to pass on to the next shift. Sometimes you stay awake all night worrying about it. Or you fall asleep only to wake in a panic, sure you've forgotten the one crucial detail that could have prevented someone's demise.

The first year of nursing is miserable. I'll say it again. The first year of nursing is miserable. Even after 38 years, I remember vividly just how miserable the first year of nursing can be. I worried that I had missed an order or an important lab value. I worried that I had signed off an order but had forgotten to actually DO what was ordered. On one occasion, I actually got up in the middle of the night and drove to the hospital, sneaked up the back stairway to my floor and ducked into the end room to make sure I really HAD decreased the Heparin drip as I was supposed to have. (Someone had -- I'm still hoping it was me and not the night nurse who found the order when she went through doing 24 hour chart checks.) I was so afraid I'd do an IM injection wrong and injure someone's sciatic nerve, dooming them to a lifetime of pain and suffering that I'd have to go into the bathroom and vomit before giving an injection.

The first year of nursing was miserable. I felt as though I was overworked, that no one appreciated me and that I was an inch away from making a potentially fatal mistake at any moment. I worked as hard as I could, but my time management skills weren't fully developed and I didn't have the experience to detect trouble on the way as the more experienced nurses could. Instead, I detected trouble right about the time the feces hit the fan . . . far too late to head it off at the pass and just in time for one of my more experienced co-workers to save my (my patient's) bacon.

Truly, I WAS unappreciated -- which had a lot more to do with my own attitude and my inability to get along with my co-workers than it had to do with my co-workers, who probably would have liked and appreciated me had I been a bit more likable. But I was too stressed, too convinced of my own incompetence to be able to spend the energy on the social niceties that would have helped me to fit in to the team.

I didn't have the option of quitting my job and moving on. I was supporting a husband who was going to school full time, and health insurance at that time was not portable. I had to make my job work. And as time went on, I had a few scattered moments when I felt as though I could handle it. And then a few more moments. And then most of a day went by, and I handled what came my way, noticed signs and symptoms ahead of time and was able to head off potential badness before it became a full-fledged code. There were times when I was able to lift my nose from the grindstone long enough to notice that a co-worker was in trouble and needed help.

As I developed time management skills, assessment skills and interpersonal skills, my job got easier. I was able to interact more positively with my colleagues. I got to know the people on my shift, and we went out together. Some of them became friends. As I became more competent, my co-workers became nicer. (I know it was ME, not them. I became more likable and they responded positively.) Somewhere around the two year mark, I realized that I liked my job, my colleagues and myself. I had become competent.

Had I changed jobs, it wouldn't have happened, or it wouldn't have happened as soon. I was lucky, in a way, that I was forced to stay at my first job.

The first year of nursing sucks, but it does get easier, trust me. And one day you'll look back over the years and remember how lost and scared and incompetent you felt . . . and know that it was all worth it.

I must be one of those rare new grads that feels pretty confident already. I'm 6 months into my first nursing job and I feel good about it. I think a lot of it has to do with working nights vs. days. A lot of the new grads from my orienting group that started off working days say that they're constantly stressed out and can't handle the pressure. Nights are so much more chill, at least when you consider that the management isn't breathing down your neck, patients are rarely discharged in the middle of the night, and family members are slightly less likely to crowd into the room and demand your attention at 3am.

I also think that I must have lucked out in terms of coworkers and supervisors, because almost every single other nurse on my unit that works nights with me has been very helpful and willing to answer my questions. My charge nurses look out for me and are always there to walk me through a procedure that I've never done before.

In my case, it probably helps that I had experience as a Medical Assistant for several years before I graduated from nursing school, so I was already familiar with the medical field and talking to doctors is no big deal to me. But I still recommend to all the nursing students that are swarming my unit: start out on nights first and get the basic skills and time management down, then switch to days when you feel ready. It isn't so overwhelming to jump into the deep end after you already know how to swim in the shallows.

1 Votes

My first year in nursing was so awful I thought daily of suicide. I worked so hard and put so much time and energy into it and was finally let go. And I was happy for a moment. My co-workers made major mistakes- and then quit so I was the escape goat for a major issue. I loved my patients and they still ask for me- even years later. The place I worked at was so poorly managed that nurses every day told me "to leave now" during my training period. The company they sent in to "counsel personnel" told me they were mismanaged. I left to take care of a sick loved one and now I am trying to get back to work with little success. No matter the newly minted BSN and my great resume, I can't get my foot in the door now they say I need hospital experience; and hospitals are looking for 2-5 years experience. :mad: I should have left when my fellow nurses told me how the nurse supervisor "made their lives a living hell". I could have gone back to my prior job and enjoyed my life. Now I am stuck with numerous student loans, past due bills, and no job to pay them. I tell kids in college to go to medical school or physician's assistant school but avoid nursing because there are no jobs. And if you do find a job, women nurses will make your life hell. Is that why I spent time and money to become a nurse. Hell no! :clown:

"The first year (or so) is brutal and miserable. The main difference seems to be that, back in the day, nursing schools told people about this, and we graduated expecting this to be our experience (I know that was true for me). Apparently, students now graduate and enter practice with no expectation of this, and a lot of new grads seem to think a) they are the only ones going through this, and b) this means there is something wrong with their job and the answer is to jump ship and look for greener pastures. "

This post seems unfairly divisive and dismissive.

I graduated in 2010 from a good BSN program and my instructors were very clear about the difficulties of being a new RN. And more often than not new RNs who quit are not seeking greener pastures assuming it is the workplace environment rather than their own lack of nursing skills. More often, they are simply feeling overwhelmed and/or seeking a better fit. They are likely considering the needs of the patient population.

On a similar note, it's posts like your post that reminds me just how much some more experienced RNs dislike incoming new grads. Maybe a more welcoming attitude would go a long way.

I didn't get a chance to read all the comments but have you ever thought why your experience is miserable? Its because as nurses we don't support each other. Instead nurses are looking to criticize you or expect way too much of you for where you are on your learning curve. I graduated in 88 and survived because I had faith in my self and I didn't let those miserable nurses in their 50's bring me down with "you didn't do this " " you didn't do that" . I was assertive and maybe aggressive at one point and I moved on and surpassed all of them in terms of education and ability. I am in my 50s now and mindful and always treat new people with respect and try to show the way. Many older nurses are not supportive because I think they feel threatened and do things the way they always do. we will never have progress or dialogue with that kind of attitude. new grads stay assertive , have good rapport with the sensible doctors and ignore the ones who are jealous and non supportive and toxic. Nursing can be rewarding if you are in it for the right reasons. May you survive the toxic environments and the ones who manipulate and try to see you fall.

Specializes in Obstetrics Labor and Delivery Mother Baby.

I've been an L&D nurse since 1983 and can so relate. I have always said and will always say that God was very gracious to me that I didn't hurt anyone in my first couple years as a nurse. Things come up at work now (mostly not good ones) and I think back and thank God He kept my patients and my unborn patients safe while in my care.

Sooo needed to hear this!! I'm sending out my resume now for my first nursing job already anticipating the chaos. I just keep telling myself though, if I can get through nursing school, I can get thru anything!! Fingers crossed!!

Ruby Vee, this has been encouraging. I'm nearly finish with nursing school, and I'm already anxious. I see how the nurses work hard and it seems unbelievable how they can take so much at once at times. Thanks for giving me hope that with time it becomes better.

I landed a pediatric psych job right out of college, and I too have had those miserable days where all I want is to make sure I did the right thing and that the patients will feel better after having been in my presence. Will it be impossible for me to move to a medical unit after my time on the psych unit?

Omg...this article brings me back to my first yr in nursing....horrible horrible. I had a preceptor I hated because she yelled at me for every mistake I made, was too slow, or just because and in front of all the other nurses. I would go home and cry and call my other new grad friends and tell them I just want to quit. Of course they all told me not to. My sister asked me what the problem was. I told her I can't seem to get organized. She told me we were the most organized people she knew. That we learned this from working for our mom at a really young age helping out in her business. She told me to stick it out and she knew I had it in me and that it just takes time. Thank goodness I listened....something must have clicked. It did get easier during the first year. I found my routine. I even figured out how to use my brain (not literally lol) to help me be more organized. The preceptor I hated is now someone I like. Tho I wouldnt use her style to precept a new nurse, I understand...not everyone can or should precept. So to all you new grads who feel like you just can't do it....you can!!! Just find your own routine, ask questions when in doubt, and learn from your more experienced coworkers. Everyone has their own way of doing things but maybe you can learn from theirs. Don't let your first year determine if you were meant to be a nurse. It takes time....I'm in 5 years and my favorite saying is "theres always something new to learn everyday you go to work." That is why I love nursing now! Keeps you on your toes! Lol

Specializes in Medical -Surgical PCU.

I am 5 months in and its better than it first was and not yet as good as it will be. Sometimes I wish I could fast forward to when I will feel competent, but honestly the hard times are what you learn from. Most of my coworkers are wonderful people and am not sure I could have made it this far without them. Its getting to the point where I can get my tasks done in a timely manor most of the time, but not to the point where I can head off trouble before it happens. I dream of that day! Thank you for the reminder that experienced nurses still remember the struggle, and don't always expect us newbies to be perfect.

Specializes in Addictions/Mental Health, Telemetry.

Ah yes! That first magical year of nursing! I cried. I cried. I was a miserable Witch with a B. My feet and my legs hurt so badly every night when I got home due to all the standing and walking I did during my horrendous 12 hour shifts! I hated my first job in med/surg, but I needed it in order to get my first job as a psychiatric nurse. As soon as I got that one year of med/surg I beat a path out of there and into a geriatric psych unit! I've had other adventures in Telemetry and ICU since then, but always return to psych. I still love nursing after 15 years! I'd tell any new nurse to please hang in there! Nursing is a great career!

That is a sad story and certainly not the story of the majority of nurses. I went to St Francis Medical Center School of Nursing a little while after graduating I started working there. I had previously worked there before I got my license as an orderly. When I started I already knew many of the other nurses from being big sisters there last year of nursing school and many others from time spent in clinicals. The hospital though located in Trenton NJ was really just a small town hospital where everyone knew each other and had all their lives. There were some bad moments of course but usually it was one big team of everyone working together to get the patient well. I went there from 1972 till 74 and am not really sure if many places like this still exist. My only worries were about getting high enough grades to graduate and after that no raising the ire of the nuns. Our patient outcomes I am sure were above average. If you made an error you usually discussed it with your headnurse and moved on a better nurse. Sometimes of course you had to talk with a supervisor usually a Nun who would give you a sterner lecture. I think that if you are having a terrible time as the writer discusses you really need to seek some professional help. I dont believe that is the norm for a nurses first year.

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