Fired and Devastated

[SweenyG]

I am in my 50s and and put my heart into getting my BSN. I graduated with honors in May 2014, but it took me 5 months to get a job. I was so happy and loved the hospital. My orientation was extended for 5 weeks, but now, 3 months in, I have been let go due to not improving enough on my weaknesses.

I feel I was improving and would have gotten there, but they felt it wasn't enough. I think I need to work on concentrating more on what I am doing and I think having a preceptor distracted me--which is my failing. The preceptors were good, but I feel at times they jumped on what I was doing rather than let me figure it out for myself.

I accept that I need a lot of improvement, and maybe am not cut out for acute care, but I worry now that without that acute care experience, I will not be able to get a job or if I do, it would be in LTC, which I really don't want, but now feel pressured to apply for.

My home situation isn't good, and one if the reasons I went back to school was to be able to get a good job as a divorce from my husband of 30+ years seems likely. I worked two PT jobs while going to school and told him and my last child at home "to just hold on" till I graduated.

I have been fired from other jobs before, but not within 14 years. I left a job I enjoyed, but did not get paid well, to go to school, something I had wanted to do for a long time. I feel like a failure and can only imagine the emotional abuse I will get from my husband.

I really liked this job and was so proud to be hired, I know in my heart i am a smart, good person, and yes, a good nurse in many aspects, but I need to improve my clinical skills.

Thanks for reading!

[Farawyn]

My son is a generally sweet , sensitive boy who does very well in school and we get along well when together alone. But at dinner times, but he also will make jokes about something I said, then high five his dad.

Oh. Ouch.

(((Hugs)))

I hope you get out of there soon.

[Aliareza, BSN]

I haven't even started working yet, so I have no advice to give you on the job loss except network, network, network.

However, I've been the child in the situation you're in. At some point in my childhood, my dad began to subtly change and be emotionally/verbally abusive of my mother. A lot of it had to do with financial stuff, just like your situation. I got to watch him slowly poison my brother against my mom. All it took for me to wake up and realize it was one time of us kids lightly poking fun at my mom for her paranoid nature, and then my dad jumped in on it and stoked the flames until she burst out crying. That should never happen. I felt terrible, and I turned my sisters around and made them realize what was happening. Unfortunately, my brother had always been my dad's favorite, and he really wanted to believe my dad was right because that was his father figure. He ended up treating my mother terribly for a long time, and my dad turned him against my mother in the divorce, claiming that she was a screw-up and that all of us knew she was the reason we didn't have a very good childhood. My brother realized his error, but not until several years later when he'd matured a lot and had already moved away.

In short, my dad started off a bad husband, and then turned into a horrible parent as well. If he'll team up with your son to make jokes about your "incompetence" now, you better believe things have the possibility of turning ugly later. That environment is poisonous for your son.

[tmscott]

Dont beat yourself so hard!there so many jobs out there that will hire you.You just to be confident and that will show in your work...good luck!!

[SweenyG]

In short, my dad started off a bad husband, and then turned into a horrible parent as well. If he'll team up with your son to make jokes about your "incompetence" now, you better believe things have the possibility of turning ugly later. That environment is poisonous for your son.

I do worry mostly if it turns into a custody fight, but right now, my son and I do have a good relationship.

[WhoniverseNurse]

HANG IN THERE! IT WILL GET BETTER! I know from experience.

A similar thing happened to me just out of school. I was a 22 year old new graduate from a (locally) prestigious private university with a BSN and "Cum Laude" honors. I applied at the local Trauma II hospital where I was employed at the time as a CNA with years of experience in med-surg and acute care psych. I was immediately accepted. I started with an in house nurse residency program for new grads and did well. I was given 6 different preceptors at the same time, and a whirlwind of activity later, I was on extended orientation for "Not improving enough". This then spiraled into being terminated and being "banned from the premise of this facility except in the case of medical emergency for 1 year" due to being, "unprofessional and unsafe". I was devastated. I couldn't understand. 5 of my 6 preceptors stated that I was ready to come off orientation.

What went wrong?? Was I that bad of a nurse?? Would I ever get hired again? How could I ever see my classmates and explain why I was not working at the job I told them I was at? How would I provide for my family? Was I a terrible husband to my new wife? Was I a loser? Would I ever be able to do anything with my career?

All these questions and more poured through my head. Thankfully, I had stocked up on PTO / vacation hours throughout 4 years of nursing school, which supported my wife and I for about 4 weeks of unemployment before that ran dry. My wife was very supportive and understanding. I looked around for any kind of work I could get ahold of with the help of another nurse friend of mine. I landed an entry level staff RN position at a local nursing home on the dementia unit. "There, there, it's all better now" everyone told me. No, it wasn't! How could they not understand??!! Everyone who walked by me knew I was FIRED! The horror! What a terrible nurse and person! Well, I was thrown onto the floor on my own with 2 weeks orientation and floundered and fought my way into stability at my new job. A massive paycut, a loss of prestige... but a job nonetheless. I eventually caught the eye of the charge nurse and even the DON, who moved me into other roles around the nursing home. Within 5 months, I was a charge / supervisor RN. I felt good about myself - maybe I'm not a complete loser and failure.

Well, fate had other plans once again... My wife and I were going to have a baby! Exciting news, but we needed more income. So, just because I had nothing else to do on my down time, I began throwing my newly redecorated resume around at local hospitals. Shot down several times, occasionally didn't even receive a return call. Then, out of the blue, my wife began clinicals (radiation technologist) at a rural hospital about 40 miles away. I decided to look at their website. There was a part time ER position open. Required years of experience, etc., etc. Well, I had time on my hands so I emailed my resume and reference list, as well as a fancy cover letter. within a week I had an interview, and a job offer 4 days later. Emergency nursing was a dream job of mine! I couldn't believe it.

I'm now almost done with orientation (only a couple weeks to go) and everything is going amazing! I'm working full time hours even, with a significant pay raise from even my initial job! The baby is due in 4 weeks and I just turned 25. Time flies!

My point with this long, drawn out, obnoxious story of mine, is that, it really all works out. In talking with many, many nurses from multiple states, I have found out the following:

- Hospitals and care facilities will hire RN's with terminations on their records. Most of the time it is because of a "less than ideal fit" between the facility and the RN or interpersonal conflict (which turned out to be the case with my first job, I later found out. And let's just say karma has been served. For the sake of professionalism and ethics, I won't name the facility / persons involved or what I later found out led to my termination).

- RN's are people too. No one is good at everything. Find your niche. Keep looking. You WILL find something you love. You may be bad at one kind of nursing, but then turn around and find an area you ABSOLUTELY LOVE!!

- Never give up. Just keep swimming, swimming... ... You'll eventually find Nemo.

- Tasky things (starting IV's, catheter care, etc) can be taught easily. A good bedside manner and a professional attitude shows the minute you open your mouth and extend your hand to a potential employer. THIS is harder to find than you think, and is invaluable!

- Network! Make as many friends that are RN's as you can! They will help you later - and you can help them!

- Stand up for yourself. As an RN, you are an advocate for your patient. How can you properly advocate for your patients if you are unable or unwilling to advocate for yourself? If you are aware of something / someone that is compromising your ability to provide the best care for your patients. End it. Now. Take the person aside, address the issue with leadership, find another job. And do it ASAP. You will suffer if you don't. Harsh life lesson, but it's true.

- Working at a nursing home is not the end of the world. Having said that, make sure you at least tour the facility before accepting any job offers. There are stellar nursing homes I would be honored to work for... and then there are others. I lucked out and found the former. A few months of nursing home experience (at a good facility) will give you SOO MUCH experience and may help you gain back some confidence. You work with and learn the same patients day in and day out. You get a routine down, you learn to look for the little things while managing the big picture (much bigger than at a hospital), you learn how to delegate and discipline staff - well. If you do want to get back into acute care, make your stay in LTC about a year. A whole lot longer than that may make you look less pleasing to an acute care facility.

- Offer a helping hand to anyone who has been terminated. It doesn't have to be huge (and no money - it's awkward for both parties). Offer to help with the resume, job search, babysitting, or even just hang out and talk. Let me tell you, as a male (I'm sure this is true for you gals, too) bowling and a beer with a friend and talking everything out helped more than anything else.

- Nursing (and healthcare in general) is a cutthroat field. Stay strong and tough out the first year. After that, you'll love your job!

End of my rant. I could go on forever, but I wont. The whole experience has made me a better, more humble nurse and human being. I love helping out people who have run into this misfortune. It sounds awfully cheesy now, but, OP, it WILL work out for the better. You may not see it now, but it will.

I really wish you all the best in finding the perfect job. I unfortunately do not have the life experience to give advice on the marital issues, but I wish you the best of luck and God's wisdom in knowing what to do.

[trinitymaster]

((HUGS)) This seems to be a common pattern these days...you can't blame yourself.

Back when administrators cared about keeping and training a good nurse we were on orientation with formal class time for 12 weeks and still we floundered now and then....I don't know what happened to compassion and taking the time to train the newbies. I just don't understand.

Look into an LTACH a Long Term Acute Care Hospital. They are willing to train...you will work hard but they will train. ((HUGS))

What is Long-Term Acute Care (LTAC) | Kindred Healthcare

It really depends on what the op's short-comings are. I work at Kindred and here is how you should imagine it: Take the most difficult patient that you have had and multiply it by 6-7 patients.

We are willing to work with you, but you really need to pull it together.

[SweenyG]

Esme, Trinitymaster and others:

Thanks for the info on Kindred an LTAC, but unfortunately there are no such facilities in my area. However, it could be an option in the future if I can ever relocate,

[SweenyG]

Whoniverse--Thanks for all your advice. I was told by my employer that my strengths are my bedside manner with patients and families and that they were complimenting me. I guess they just gave up on trying to teach me the other stuff. And, I honestly feel I was doing better, I know I felt more competent! I made some missteps in front of preceptors--before the pt was involved--and they corrected me and apparently noted it--most times before I had a chance to correct it myself. I know that I do checks and would have corrected my errors before going to pt., or was getting ready to ask a question (ie, is this the right size syringe for this med?).

I know the preceptors can't read minds, but even when I explained myself, it obviously didn't matter. Now, I understand they have to look out for pt safety and were concerned, but, I learn from my mistakes and once pointed out to me, I remember.

I spent yesterday talking to a favorite professor who helped me see how I present myself can influence how others perceive me and how I can deal with the negativity at home. I also went to career services at my college and revamped my resume and got more advice on how to deal with interview questions relating to my experience.

I told my husband last nite and it wasn't too awful. He didn't talk to me this am while getting ready for work, but that really isn't new. I am waiting for some fallout to come out sideways, but after talking to my prof., have learned more to deal with it in a manner that doesn't feed my insecurities or his desire to control or shame me.

I am printing out resumes, filling out applications, and networking. I also called the home health company I worked for previously (and they love me), and they have a long term job coming up that I can have--just name the hours. This isn't something that I make a lot of money at, but it's something and shows my family i am keeping on.

I still feel awful about this and it's a physical sensation...I know this will go away with time, but for right now, it sucks!

Thanks everyone for your support and stories!