Feeling numb............

[dreamrider_212]

Saw my first code on an infant who didn't make it and feeling very numb......not sure why I didn't cry and now Im worried that I have put up such a shield and become so hardened that even a baby's death can't break through.

Does anyone have any advice/words of wisdom - I really need it right now.

[TazziRN, RN]

{{{Dream}}}

You will learn to cope with it, I promise. Pedi deaths affect all of us differently than adult ones, because children are not supposed to die. Talk it out, talk to the team members involved, your hospital social worker, etc. Debrief yourself. I promise it will help.

And don't worry about the crying. You're numb right now, you're not going to express any emotion. When the numbness subsides and you start to feel it, you will be able to cry.

[gt4everpn, BSN, RN]

We nurses train ourselves not to become too emotionally attached. At times I wondered if I cared enough or felt enough about pt's dying. The reality is as professionals we HAVE to move on, thats how we continue doing what we do without having a breakdown. The fact that u realize that you may seem cold says to me that u did care about the person's death. You being a nurse already says that you care about people, you don't have to cry- you don't, your not proud of the death and certainly didn't want it. Sometimes we surprise and shock ourselves, I know I have! - Thanx for being a nurse, Good Luck to you in your career, Cheer up, we're nurses! and we do what we do cause we love it! God Bless You, from one caring, sweet, hardworking nurse to another!

[molyy]

its ok that you didnt cry about the baby thats sad and all but sometimes people dont cry. Its just that ur sad i know but that doesnt mean you have to cry. that doesn't mean you have gone numb

[crissrn27, RN]

I have not cried several times in this situation. I just don't cry alot. It doesn't mean you don't care. You wouldn't be posting here, worried about it, if you didn't. I have coworkers that cry when we lose a baby, and some, like me, that don't. Don't worry about it, we all react different to stresses. :icon_hug: :icon_hug:

[allantiques4me]

Im so sorry you had that experience.I know I work with abused children sometimes the sadness overwhelms me.I usually do cry at a later time like when Im at home.Maybe itll effect you that way.I dont believe you have a tough shield.or have become hardened. God bless.Everyone has different coping mechanisms.

[gina gina]

yes i do.in nursing we were taught empathy over sympathy.if u can not have empathy,u will b numb everytime someone dies.can u handle this?u r a beautiful human being becuz u r true.it will take some time to get use to this but honey i am keepin it real.i remember a patient died on my unit and i told my supervisor to write me up becuz i did not have the balls to tell the family.she called the family herself and she knew i was serious.she did not write me up.:icon_hug: