(I am using my very dear friends laptop and account to write this). She told me about how awesome this site/forum was and that it will help me through this tough time (I am also writing this on my break so I really am doing this to vent). I am a new grad ICU nurse, I thought this was where I wanted to be as a nurse but I am so depressed and feel like the dumbest person on earth. I am usually a relaxed person but I am very nervous going into work. My preceptor likes to work FAST, her motto is "I come to work to get paid, not work all night" so we have to move fast and do as little as possible. I think she is a very smart nurse (seriously i do!) and I think she's a good preceptor, I just think that I am so stupid and need to work somewhere with a slower pace.
I can have things written down but because I know it irritates her to wait for an answer (she has mentioned this MANY times) I just open my mouth without thinking instead of saying hold on and reading my sheet. I don't let things process before I blurt something out. For example I go to work really early, I check the order for G feeds under nutrition, I know that's where to look but as soon as my preceptor asks, I'll blurt out in the medications tab! SMH, I can't understand why I get so nervous.
One issue was during report a patient was to be titrated down from his levo. This patient had his MAPS above 100 the entire shift, while we were giving a bath he had a seizure, during his seizure his MAP tanked to 54 my preceptor yelled to change his levo. I asked: increase or decrease? Stupid question! This is my 5th week of orientation and I got so nervous and she even mentioned that I'm too nervous.
Another incident during report a nurse said a patients levo was on hold. I looked at the monitor (we use space labs) she had an A line and a cuff reading. I looked at the cuff pressure (MAP 52) and asked what the levo was on hold for. Well stupid me didn't look at the A-line reading and I didn't look at the time the BP cuff reading was from. My preceptor and the nurse looked at me like I was the dumbest person on earth. The nurse just looked at me and asked if I knew what levo was for in the rudest way possible.
Another incident was I was told to draw a venous gas. I got the ABG kit and was going to do a venous draw from it. She then stopped me and said that I can never do a veni poke for a venous blood gas, that can only be drawn through a central line. She said that she's mention this before in the past to me but I don't remember. She also had to remind me that the patient had a central line and that I could stop his fluids to draw the blood.
I was giving report and I gave the patients temperature readings during my report on neuro, she said ..I told you to report on neuro, NEURO not cardiovascular, temperatures are cardiovascular.
I am also suppose to cluster my tasks so we will look off his orders and will say "patients is getting these meds, tell me to get the meds, tell me the color tubes I need for labs, the vitals machine and IV fluids...that's way we don't go back and forth which is a waste of time. Well of course my luck, I ALWAYS forgot something! :-(
My preceptor will give a lot of "if you ever get a patient" "when you get a patient" and I honestly can't remember all of that when the time comes, which irritates her.
My preceptor is very blunt, she will straight out tell me who the "dumb nurses are"(I kid you not, that's howshe refers to them) I can only imagine what she's saying about me ...I overheard her talking about me today that I'm dumb and it makes me cry but she's right, I have done some very stupid mistakes.
I may now be out of a job, she said she can't guarantee I'll pass orientation (we get 6 weeks orientation).
Oh my. I just feel like this is harassment that should be addressed. It is obvious that you are not 100% ready to be off orientation!! Maybe go to your manager and suggest a skills fair for the unit, also invite the critical care chief to the meeting, I have found that docs love to teach, it is just who they are and they have always been willing to help on my unit regarding teaching of nursing staff. I also want to recommend that you try to find a mentor. If someone has been nice and helpful to you on or off your unit, up front ask them to mentor you!!! I work at a top 5 children's hospital and they have this type of program, it truly helps you on tough days. Sounds like there are other new nurses on your unit that would benefit from some skills fairs. I am not sure how it works at your hospital but new nurses hired for critical care are called "nurse interns" for 1 year and attend skills classes as well as didactic curriculum classes; they are day shift only for the year, must be observed by the unit CNS or expert level nurse (usually the charge nurse) for things such as the a line 3 times to be signed off on skills. My other suggestion is that you join a critical care nurses association, you can network with supercritical care nurses and attend educational sessions. From my heart, best of luck to you!! And be gentle with yourself.
I did attend classes but I attended classes before I even hit the unit. It was information overload, we had between 1 to 3 days to complete each system of the critical care modules. Many of my peers complained that that was too much information in a short amount of time. Also because we weren't even on the unit we were not able to apply that knowledge onto the unit.it was basically just studying to pass the test. They listened to our feedback and the new hires should be pleased!
I actually now talk more with the residents and fellows at work and they are so lovely! They do help me understand things a lot.
I also plan on applying for online critical care courses.
I did attend classes but I attended classes before I even hit the unit. It was information overload, we had between 1 to 3 days to complete each system of the critical care modules. Many of my peers complained that that was too much information in a short amount of time. Also because we weren't even on the unit we were not able to apply that knowledge onto the unit.it was basically just studying to pass the test. They listened to our feedback and the new hires should be pleased!
I actually now talk more with the residents and fellows at work and they are so lovely! They do help me understand things a lot.
I also plan on applying for online critical care courses.
And thank you :)
:)hang in there!! You are on the right path for success! !!!!!
...I overheard her talking about me today that I'm dumb and it makes me cry but she's right, I have done some very stupid mistakes.
:)hang in there!! You are on the right path for success! !!!!!
Aloe_sky
179 Posts
I did attend classes but I attended classes before I even hit the unit. It was information overload, we had between 1 to 3 days to complete each system of the critical care modules. Many of my peers complained that that was too much information in a short amount of time. Also because we weren't even on the unit we were not able to apply that knowledge onto the unit.it was basically just studying to pass the test. They listened to our feedback and the new hires should be pleased!
I actually now talk more with the residents and fellows at work and they are so lovely! They do help me understand things a lot.
I also plan on applying for online critical care courses.
And thank you :)