feeling guilty

[nursy_ann]

I'm back from work and I can't sleep. I feel guilty and I need to know if it ever happened to you too....

I'm able to see a lot of things but when I see someone with MS lying in bed ....I can't act properly. I mean I'm not able to talk and look at these patients.

Today I I went to see that women I cared for for almost 1 year now and I understood why i open the radio and sing instead of trying to talk to her...It touched me too much to see how bad she looks. All slim, in bed not able to talk and crying most of the time. Is it what I'm going to look like in 10 or 15 years? It scares me to think about it.

I always tought there would be nothing to stop me to nurse until the day I'm going to have a too big relapse (I'm having Ms but in the very primary form). But now I understand that it doesn't matter where I work, there'll always be a problem. Maybe I don't suffer from that problem but how can i know how this patient feel in front of me????

Do you have a solution? Do you think it is the end of my career in nursing?

please help because I'm confused

chris

[Hellllllo Nurse, BSN, RN]

I am sorry that you have MS. I think it is only natural to feel uncomfortable and/or fearful when dealing with pts who have advanced MS, when you have MS yourself.

I understand your feelings, and I think I would feel the same way.

i wish all the best for you.

[Noney]

I don't think it would be natural for you to not affected the way you are. Is there anyway you trade assignments around a little bit. I know most of us are perfectly willing to make changes to help each other out.

Is there support group you can join. You don't have to deal with this on your own. I really don't think this a reason for you to give up nursing on the contrare it shows you are human with feeling not a robot passing pills.

(((Hugs)))

Noney

[nursy_ann]

It would be a good idea to trade this patient but the other guy working with me decided i don't know why that he won't nurse this patient anymore.

and....I don't want to talk about my situation to my boss. Recently he showed the door to a few people just because they missed 1 or 2 days of work. If I tell him about my health, it will be a good reason to show me the door.

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

Don't feel guilty. You've got to come to terms with your feelings and be honest about them with yourself.

It sounds like a very difficult situation to have to care for an MS patient while having MS yourself. Imagine that it is you in that bed. What kind of nurse would you want to have caring for you. Become that kind of nurse. You do have the strength within you to handle it, and you are a good nurse.

We have a quadraplegic on a vent on our unit. He's a few years older than me. It's my worst nightmare and I have a horrible fear of quadraplegia and it's very difficult for me to care for him. He was my patient for 8 hours the other day and it was difficult. Not that I'm comparing situations because yours is not the same.

I agree though, that until it begins to affect your work, your personal illness might not be anyone's business. If it is seriously affecting your work and the care you give, then it needs to be discussed.

Good luck.

[germain]

i understand- I have MS too, and my mom has it really bad. It is hard for me to see MS patients too, just a reminder that health is precious. Just remeber that it is not because you have a diagnosis that you are necesarrily goihng to have a hard time of it, ior harder than anyone else. The disabled, the only minority group ANYBODY can join at any time.

Still, if its too difficult, dont feel like you are weak to work in a different field. :kiss :kiss

also remeber that not everyone with MS gets the worst case senario, really. Youre not doomed. But yeah, now that I ahve a tenative diagnosis, I take my time to enjoy the good days to their fullest. good luck!

[Agnus]

I bet there is a MS support group you could join. I bet you could benefit from it. (((((((((HUG))))))))))

How difficult this must be for you. You need some support. You probably should talk to your supervisor (assuming she is human and can understand) and ask that you not take these patients.

Is there an employee assistance program where you could explore your feeling in confidence? Sounds like you need to explore and address this further for your own sake.