Feeling so depressed....

Canadian Girl · Feb 19, 2009

Hi,

Sorry you're having a tough time. I can relate to moving to an area that you don't care for. I moved from an island (with tons of friendly people) to California as well. I hear ya.

If you are looking for suggestions, and I'm not sure you are, I would suggest just getting 'plugged in' to the community you're living in now. Do it right away and make a couple of good quality friends. Don't procrastinate thinking that you're going to be moving away. Just do it, otherwise, years later, you'll be stuck in a place with no roots and no connections. You need a support system: everyone does.

I'm not sure what the demand is for LVN's as I'm an RN. You may have had enough of school for now, but have you ever considered putting your current English degree towards a Masters of Science and Nursing degree? There are programs out there for that. It may take a couple of years, but you'd come out with an MSN and be in high demand and make the big bucks.

Whatever you do, be persistent, don't get all negative (it won't do any good), and get plugged in. Do something good for someone else and it'll take your mind off of your problems. I'm speaking from experience.

Take care and I hope you feel better!

Sue

LVN-RNhopeful · Feb 19, 2009

I totally feel your pain. I'm a SoCal transplant myself - I'm originally from NC. We moved out here for my husband's job 5 years ago and in the last 5 years we've moved ALL over Southern CA. I think we'll stay in San Diego for a while. I have not been working for the last year, but my prior job was on a tele floor. However, before that I worked in doctor's offices. I know that may not be what you're experience is in or the kind of job you are hoping to find, but for now, it could be something to pay the bills until you find a hospital job. I always see ads for offices hiring LVN's. Even if it's an ad for a Medical Assistant and they are asking for a certain amount of experience, apply for it anyway. In my experience these places are always looking for help. Also, working in a doctor's office, you have an opportunity to meet so many different people and it's a great way to network. Honestly, I was able to do a lot more networking working in an office than in a hospital. When I was working Tele, I worked nights, and I always worked with the same nurses over and over again and I wasn't exposed to different people on a daily basis (besides my patients). It's just another option to consider. And that's when being an LVN is an advantage over being an RN, b/c most clinics DO NOT want to pay RN wages, but need staff with a broader scope than MA's. Also, if it's a large group, they may have an Urgent Care or extended care that would allow for more flexible hours.

Good luck settling in to SoCal. I know it's culture shock, but try to seek out the good in the area. There's so much to do and see. While I don't think I will ever consider myself a Californian, it does feel like home for now (but how I long to move back east to my $1100 mortgage payment...lol...someday!).

Faeriewand, ASN, RN · Feb 22, 2009

What? You say you are living in the heart of the OC and you don't know what to do with yourself?!? Try driving over to the LaBrea Tar Pits! I've heard they made a "Mammoth" discovery! Other places: Disneyland, Knotts Berry Farm, Universal City... etc. We've driven from San Diego to visit these places and it is drivable from the OC too.

But joking aside, while you are working on getting licensed here go to your library (that's one thing you can do that's free) and pick up a travel book on the area. You just don't know the place yet so you don't see all the opportunities So Cal has to offer besides driving to the ocean. It's just that if I were living up there I would know all the places I would want to go to so take advantage. People from the OC will drive up to Big Bear or Idylwild for the weekend.

And take the advice on getting connected. Get to know your neighbors. Join a local fitness club where they have Yoga classes and start participating regularly. People may not seem as friendly but they are probably friendly in a different way than you are used to. When I moved from the Bay are to San Diego I was so depressed! I felt like my energy level had just dropped 50%. It's no wonder no one wanted to talk to me for long! I must have been a real downer. Inside I just felt lonely and was completely homesick. Once I started to know my way around the city things improved.

You are really living in an interesting place and in interesting times. Did you hear that Lance Armstrong came thru on a bicycle race? It's called the Amgen Tour of California. We are going to see him tomorrow because they should be in Escondido by then. He is in your area today. Take advantage of your locale.

It takes some getting used to living in a new place. Just take some suggestions from here and know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. :)

LVN-RNhopeful · Feb 22, 2009

Hey! We're going to watch the race finale in Escondido tomorrow, too!

Faeriewand, ASN, RN · Feb 22, 2009

Go Lance Armstrong! hehe

But really I came back here to say that as an LVN I work in med/surg and I have several friends who work in telemetry. A real plus about nursing in CA is that we have ratios. I never have more than 5 and in telemetry you get 4. At my hospital the LVN teams with the RN. The RN does all IV meds on their combined pts *(8) and the LVN passes all oral meds on 8 pts. But they work as a team so you always have someone to go to for questions or to consult with. They say it works out just fine. But the LVN does say it is a lot to pass meds on 8 pts so sometimes the RN passes meds too.

I just wanted to point out that while this is in San Diego you may find a hospital in the OC or Los Angeles area where you can work as an LVN perhaps in telemetry like you did before.

If you go for your LVN-RN step-up program here remember that in California you cannot do an online school like you can in other states. You must go to a college and actually be in a classroom.

woknblues · Feb 22, 2009

Welcome to OC. I could not adjust to "the life" either. It took me a while to realize that I am just not a big city guy. They (big cities)are nearly the same all over the US, Canada, and even the world! I have no problem with long visits, work related terms, etc, but for life? Give me a small city or even a town with characters and nice people. The best time I had in a big city was N.O., where I felt somewhat comfortable... Not to hijack, buit if anyone knows some large cities that have a good feel (Pacific northwest?), drop me a line. I need to be near a vet medicine school....Portland? I don't know, but I am not really looking forward to it.

When I lived in OC, I had "neighbors" who would call/complain the assoc if I was having a BBQ and the smoke got into their yard. On a sunday afternoon.

Long Term Care Columnist / Guide · Feb 22, 2009

Hey! We're going to watch the race finale in Escondido tomorrow, too!

Wave hello to him for me.........I was born in Escondido and grew up in Ramona, and I miss SoCal at this time of year like you would not BELIEVE. :cry:

itsmyturn · Feb 22, 2009

I feel your pain. Regardless if you moved to culture shock city, it's hard, especially when your forced against your will and you were happy to begin with. I moved 1000 miles with my family from everything and everyone we knew. At first, this was good because we said "hey everyone needs a change now and again" but then about 3 months later, it hit us like a ton of bricks because we also brought very little with us. It was like we went through a fire without the flames. It made me sick to the point that I went to see a Dr. which he said I was going through a relocation stress syndrome and I needed to find something to get me out there into the land of unknown, hence nursing school. We all finally adjusted and made new friends, started exploring the town to keep our minds busy and after about a year, life got better. I think if I was in your shoes, I would spread my job circle out a little farther to find work and maybe you could teach until you can get back into nursing. Have you thought about teaching nursing? I had a vocation relation teacher that taught us...she had a BA in english. Just an idea, not sure what are the requirements there. An LPN can usually teach CNA classes if they have another degree as well. As for hating your hubby for taking away your life, well I understand that well too. My husband is in the law enforcement field and for twenty years I followed him around until he finally decided to retire. Try moving 14 times in 20 years...that sucks but you go on, make the best of it and just tell yourself like I did: itsmyturn

LVN-RNhopeful · Feb 22, 2009

My husband and I have been married for 6 years and we've already moved 5 times

Faeriewand - where do you work if you don't mind my asking (pm me if you don't want to post it so publicly). I was under the impression most hospitals in the area no longer hire LVN's. Passing oral meds to 8 pt's sounds like a lot. My last job I worked Tele at a hospital in Ventura. At that time our ratio was 5:1 (it went down to 4 right before I moved), and the LVN's and RN were all assigned their own group of pt's up to 5 each (sometimes we were forced to take 6..ugh - don't get me started on that). Pt's were not assigned based on accuity. All the LVN's were assigned an RN as their IV buddy, but other than IV meds each nurse was responsible for their own group. And if our IV buddy was too busy to do our IV meds the charge nurse would help out. I think I liked that better than being on a team sharing 8 pt's. When I had 5 pt's it was sometimes too much to too stay organized enough to make sure all 5 pt's got all their meds - I can't imagine 8!! :eek:

sgirl · Feb 23, 2009

I understand your situation - I moved to SoCal about 6 years ago from the Midwest, and I still haven't found 'home' yet. I also left behind my wonderful career, great pay, etc. I don't work currently (looking into nursing), and with a law enforcement husband, we have moved many times within CA.

First of all, it sounds like you don't feel comfortable in OC. I suggest you look around at other areas. You will find 'home'. With all of my moves, I really felt in some places more of a sense of 'home'. People in CA are different - that is just a fact. Life is more fast paces, and they are more materialistic. However, there are tons of people in your same situation - moved from the Midwest, East Coast, etc. Once you find that group of people, you will find that many of them are friends, and you will become one in their group - so it will take a while, maybe even years, but you will find what you are looking for. You may have to move to a different area within the OC, but you will find it.

As for the housing prices, yes very $$$$$$. Unfortunately, that is just how it is. However, there are some cheaper areas, and give it a couple more years, and you will find all the housing prices looking more attractive, as they are on an downward spiral, so renting isn't so bad right now : ) You do have the world at your fingertips -beaches galore, activities neverending, museums, wonderful year round weather, so much - you will learn to appreciate.

Hang in there - you are not the only one in the position, you are not alone..... keep looking and you will find many friends that feel just like you, and then you will feel at home ; )