Feel myself changing......

[2amigos]

I started at a Community College here last summer doing my prerequistes for the ADN program. I had just turned 44 and wasn't sure I was going to be able to do the "science" stuff. I've never been to college before and the idea of chemistry and A&P scared the heck out of me.

I found that summer that chemistry was fun, basically math due to the formula's. My first semester of A&P1 was horrible! Thank goodness I had plenty of English, Psychology, and Communications classes at the time or ALL my confidence would have been blown.

This semester A&P2 is hard, but I'm "getting it" and I love the feeling. I can actually HELP someone with the material for the class! Me!!!

What I was wondering was is anyone else feel like they are "morphing" (best word I could think of) as they go through their classes? I'm not even in the RN program yet, but I've changed so much already!

It's like I don't feel like I need to apologize for taking a seat in class....heck no! I have a right to be there and I have a right to have decent teachers instruct us on the materials. I have even done the no-no of stating that I didn't understand something in class once, even though the instructor was pizzed. Duh, that's why we're paying for the class and he's supposed to be teaching it. lol

I've always been a people pleaser and doormat. Not anymore! My husband thinks it's wonderful and says that it's about time. I'm shocked at how good it feels to know that I have a brain that works and I have opinions and sometimes my ideas are good ones!

Does anyone know what I mean? Have you changed while going through classes?

CherylM

[2amigos]

I can hardly wait! I went to order the RN notes that had been recommended on this site and was hesitating. I realized that it was another mental roadblock that I had to deal with. Ordering the book symbolized, for me, the all out effort on my behalf of becoming a nurse. It's like part of me was holding back, just in case I couldn't make it through the science courses. I'd had a rough time in A&P 1 partly due to a lousy instructor and partly because I didn't get tutoring because I thought I could just do it on my own-wrong. Somehow I passed, but learned very little. After starting A&P 2 and not doing well on the first test, I signed up for weekly tutoring and have actually had the top grade in the class for the last three tests........me! go figure!!

Anyway, once I realized that I needed to get rid of the emotional safeguard, I bought the book and felt such a burden lift off of me. I had always thought I'd go into social work, but I am so excited at whatever the future will bring me. I have no idea what field of nursing I will find myself drawn to, but I have no doubt that I WILL find my niche. What an awesome feeling it is.

I thank all of you that have responded to my post and it's wonderful to "see" that it's not just me. All of you are such a gift to everyone when you post. It's comforting to read of others going through all different feelings, situations, and phases of their schooling......I live vicariously through many of the posts. I have shed tears over some of what people are going through and celebrated with others. Thank you all!

Cheryl Moore

[Katnip, RN]

:kiss

[CountrifiedRN]

Cheryl, I'm glad to see that you have taken the steps to fulfill your dreams. Change is scary, even when it's good!

I know how you feel. When I first started with my pre-reqs I never thought I would make it this far. Looking back, I can definately see a lot of changes in my self-confidence as I have met my goals for each semester. Even with some setbacks, I have worked hard and become a stronger person with each step forward.

I still get scared about the responsibilites I wil face once I graduate, but I accept that and know that a little fear helps keep you on your toes!

Best of luck in your studies!

[marilynmom, LPN, NP]

Absolutly!! LOL I feel that same way! I had been to college before right after high school and ended up dropping out and just never going to class and made all Fs

Now abot 10 years later I am back and LOVING it! I am taking Algebra and Anatomy, etc and am in the TOP of my class and I never would have though I could do that...ever. People ask me questions!

You go girl!!! Sounds like you are doing GREAT in school and will be an ever BETTER nurse!!

Marilyn

[opalmRN]

It is such an awesome feeling.

I believe most of what fuels that feeling is due to age. (For once, it is on my side.)

I want to learn things completely and in a whole body sense. I don't want to just memorize something to pass the test, I REALLY want to know and understand the material. Not that I want to be an A & P instructor but rather because I want to be intelligent when I am finally out there working as a nurse. I want to be able to answer a family member's question intelligently and compassionately. I want all there is to know about my profession so that I can approach each day with a positive attitude about my ability which ultimately reflects on the care that is given.

Yup, I got the bug too. I truly believe that it is why older students get it. While we may not get it on the first read, once we get it, WE GET IT!

Glad to hear about your positive experience.

Good feelings are contagious, pass them on!

C

[essarge]

As you get farther in to your program you will come out of your cocoon until finally (at graduation) you will become a butterfly ready to test your wings.

I have seen myself change in many ways. I work in a hospital and it used to be that I would go in and get the job done. Now when I go to work, I look at the patient as a whole (not just a bedbath that has to be done before 0800). I sit and talk to them when I have a minute. I read charts to better understand what they are there for. It's fascinating and I can't wait until I graduate! Only one more year after this and I'll have my wings!!!