Fear vs Gut instinct...need advice...

[hoolahan]

Here is my dilemma. I left my worker's comp case management job in January b/c I could not take the traveling, esp to unsafe cities at night, etc...

Since I had never resigned my Home Health job, I was able to simply go back to doing per diem. Since I have been back working in the HH job, the nurses got a $4/hr raise, and per diem rate went up to $30/hr weekdays and $36/he weekends. They also made an effort to streamline the admit paperwork AND we now never get more than 6 visits a day. HUGE changes.

I am still not happy to be back. This is why. I admit it I would like to someday not be a staff nurse. But, I am pretty sure, b/c of my outspokeness, I will never be considered for anything but a staff nurse position here. So, if I stay I know it will be for that reason. I do not want to do management, but I would love to do nursing ed in HH or quality, and would be happy to make some visits w nurses or to even carry a small case load of HHA sups or something that only an RN can do, chronic cases that would be easy to case manage while doing another job. But, like I said, it ain't gonna happen where I am.

So, I went on an exhaustive job search. Got an offer, and now, the week before I start, I am having these huge feelings of trepidation. I have job hopped quite a bit, and I can't explain this. I can't say it is about the job, it is more like I shouldn't do this b/c something bad will happen w my kids if I do. MY new job is 35 min from home, 8a to 6p 4 days a week, no w/e no holidays, no nights. But, there is this nagging feeling that I will lose all control of my teenage dtr if I go through with this job. They would get home from school at 3:30 and my hubby gets home at 4pm, but next yr she will be in HS and get done at 2:30, and hour-and-a-half is plenty of time to get itno trouble when you are 14 (And God help me if she is anything like I was at her age...let's just say I was no angel and leave it at that!)

Of course, the article in the paper my hubby pointed out to me this week did NOT help. Some perve is parking his truck near to the bus stops for my dtr's school and is taking pics of the teen girls. Nothing else, just pics, but I mean isn';t that creepy??? Scared the shyt outta me it did. Now I worry iif I am not here, will someone abduct her on the way home?? I have always been a severe worry wort when it comes to the kids. I hope someday I will be able to stop worrying about them to the degree that I do now.

Anyway, I have a hard decision to make and have to do it in the next 24 hrs. Do I go w the job or not?

I am leaning towards not. I mean as much as this present job has me totally depressed and feeling like I am trapped forever due to my kids or more specifically my dtr's shananigans, I have to admit, it is sooooooo flexible. I can be here when they get home from school, I can be done w my last visit by 2pm mpst days and go straight to the supermarket, then do my charting later.

And last but not least, my sweet doggie won't have to learn to hold her bladder for eight straight hours and be at the mercy of two teenagers who couldn't care less how long she has been holding it. Plus in the summer, I can check in w the brats often for suprise inspections or just work weekends 12 hours again.

Am I nuts to give up this opportunity? I just need to hear I am not being foolishly overprotective.

I discussed it w my husband, and he just says, You have to do whatever you think you need to do. Sweet, but not much help. Something to the effcetc of Oh I am sooo glad you decided that ,would be helpful, or WHAT? Go for it hon, I'll take care of the kids issues (Yeah, I know I am dreaming now!)

OMG, I can't believe I am thinking of passing up this great job w free health bennies and UNLIMITED tuition reimbursement. Help!!

Is this just a fear of change? Or do I go w my gut which is screaming this is not going to work! ???

[Mattigan, RN]

I just saw this and was going to say go with your gut- family first always but I read where you already did that. There will be other jobs when your kids are gone and you will really need the challenge of change then because you will miss them so much. Empty nest is a killer.

Oh and on the doggie bladder issue. I had that problem when I started to do 12's and longers again. Mattie refuses to hold anything but she is good about going on a "home alone" blue pad by side door. Sheby will be fine when the time comes.

[Scavenger'sWife, RN]

Hooly: FWIW, I think you made the right choice. I, too, have been accused of "job-Jumping". I rationalize that it is because I am , , "older" and don't want to pass up opportunities that come my way. I am changing jobs again but it is within the same institution. And I truly think it will stick.

You sound like me....always looking for that "perfect" job. Does it even exist?

But your kids will only be young once. You need to know (when they are all grown up) that you did everything your gut told you was right for their well-being. Then when they grow-up and screw-up, you can't blame yourself! :chuckle (But you will blame yourself anyway!

[hoolahan, ASN, RN]

THanks again for everyone's input. I love it that we can share this as nurses, parents, children of nurses, etc...

Wannabe... I wanted to address this to you and also to thank you for your perspective. I was giving this a lot of thought today in fact, reflecting on what someone else said about letting my dtr be in the position to make a decision, maybe even a bad one.

She is not a bad kid. But she does do some things that make me crazy, like burn candles when I am not home, forget to blow them out when she leaves the house. It may seem small, but if this house caught fire, that would be HUGE!! So, I need to be able to trust that she will follow the little rules, before I trusther with being home and wanting to leave the house w this one or that one. Just the other day she "missed the bus" again, and "had to walk home w so and so." It isn't so much that I would have a huge problem w that, but if I am so far from home, then she pretty much knows, if she wanted to, she could pull that stunt every day of the week. I just don't want to put her, or myself , in that position. It wouldn't do very well for me to be sitting in an office somewhere 45 min away and not able to reach her, esp if she "forgets' to turn on the cell phone I got her. Iwould wonder did she miss the bus? Is that creep around just waiting for a girl to be walking alone home, taking her picture? Or worse? Not sure if she is justa ditzy blonde sometimes, or this is deliberate, b/c in every other way she is a GOOD kid, just not a very responsible kid.

Your mom is lucky, you are responsible, and so is your friend. Maybe I can send Kristy over to work w you guys?? LOL! Thank you for sharing, it is good to hear your take on this. :)