Fatherless sons...did this impact your career decision into nursing?

Editorial Team / Admin · Feb 5, 2006

Today I wish I were male because I would like to participate. Because my father was so inspirational in my life. Being NAI, he was there for me in so many ways (that were NOT NAI.....he was Scandavavian) and this caused a flurry of memories to return.

Oh, well............

Roy Fokker, BSN, RN · Feb 6, 2006

There are people on this board who have suggested to me that allthough my Father did provide for my material needs, he was sorely lacking in providing for my emotional needs as I was growing up as a kid.

I wouldn't say I was "neglected". But I certainly would say that I was quite disappointed that Father rarely - if ever - showed any interest in my life other than the occassional question of if my grades were ok or if I was spending money right. No questions about likes, dislikes, music, art, friends, weather - nothin....

But has this affected me in my career choice? Specifically nursing?

Hmmmm...... me needs to ponder that one

DapperRN · Feb 6, 2006

I am one of those lucky ones who has one the most amazing fathers in the world. My dad is 71 and I'm 25. I wasn't exactly an "opps" but I'm pretty sure the thought of me started with a drink or two. Anyhow I grew up on a farm and my dad didn't care what his kids did (professionally) as long as we graduated from highschool and became a productive member of society. When I went into nursing and my five brothers went oil field he said nothing. However, my dad did picture a nurse as a women in a white dress with a tray that had aspirin on it. That was until my brother ended up in the ICU and shortly thereafter my dad collapsed and stopped breathing on Christmas eve a few months later. In a nutshell my grand old pappy saw his "nurse" (youngest son) in action. When my brother was sick I explained to the entire family in lay terms what was going on, explained what organ donation was and handled virtually everything, then I stayed with my Bro. when he passed away when no one else could. I was in a boarderline fist fight with the physician (a no talent ass clown...sorry don't mean to offend but that's the nicest way to put it) when my dad was critically ill. One of my dad's friends claims that I am the reason he is still alive to this day because I was his nurse that night he was my patient. So is my father the reason I went in to nursing? Not directly, but I am the nurse I am because of who my old pappy is. My dad also has a different image of nurses no longer are they the "handmaidens" of days gone by but if you hear this man of few words tell it we are the Doc's right hand man and concience. When someones sick you hear him say "you need a nurse" So maybe he's still this incredible (man of few words farmer) but I like to think I'm a pretty damn good nurse because, I am my father's son.

Roy Fokker, BSN, RN · Feb 7, 2006

That's pretty cool Dapper.

Thanks for sharing :)

DONN · Feb 7, 2006

Wish I could say I had a role model but I didnt. The guy was in WW2 and I figure it put the zap on him. He was in 3 major battles with the Marines in the Islands so when he came back he just wasnt the same guy as before. The only time I ever saw the guy was going into the ground in 84. He lived here in town his whole life with an unlisted number and a family that wouldnt give me the time of day. Bitter. Yea probably but I can tell you it only strengthened the parent/child bonds betewwn me and my kids. As far as having an impact on my nursing.... cant see it, its a whole different animal and I check all the personal baggae at the door when I hit the floor

Gigan · Feb 9, 2006

My father Died when I was 9. I unfourtunatly, do not have many memories of him but I think I may not have choosen to be a nurse if he was alive. I think financially were wer alot worse off when he was alive. My Mother provided a better living after he past. I shudder to think where I would be right now if my Father had lived longer. Nothing against him but I think my Mothers determination to provide a better living for us gave me hope that I could do the same. Anyhow I think I may have just been a Bum with no motivation. Least thats my take on it. :clown:

Corvette Guy · Feb 10, 2006

I am one of those lucky ones who has one the most amazing fathers in the world. My dad is 71 and I'm 25. I wasn't exactly an "opps" but I'm pretty sure the thought of me started with a drink or two. Anyhow I grew up on a farm and my dad didn't care what his kids did (professionally) as long as we graduated from highschool and became a productive member of society. When I went into nursing and my five brothers went oil field he said nothing. However, my dad did picture a nurse as a women in a white dress with a tray that had aspirin on it. That was until my brother ended up in the ICU and shortly thereafter my dad collapsed and stopped breathing on Christmas eve a few months later. In a nutshell my grand old pappy saw his "nurse" (youngest son) in action. When my brother was sick I explained to the entire family in lay terms what was going on, explained what organ donation was and handled virtually everything, then I stayed with my Bro. when he passed away when no one else could. I was in a boarderline fist fight with the physician (a no talent ass clown...sorry don't mean to offend but that's the nicest way to put it) when my dad was critically ill. One of my dad's friends claims that I am the reason he is still alive to this day because I was his nurse that night he was my patient. So is my father the reason I went in to nursing? Not directly, but I am the nurse I am because of who my old pappy is. My dad also has a different image of nurses no longer are they the "handmaidens" of days gone by but if you hear this man of few words tell it we are the Doc's right hand man and concience. When someones sick you hear him say "you need a nurse" So maybe he's still this incredible (man of few words farmer) but I like to think I'm a pretty damn good nurse because, I am my father's son.

Thanks for sharing a "feel good story" on several different angles.

To this day, I still miss my Dad every single day. He passed away before his 49th birthday, and I was only 10 yrs old. He was an aircraft mechanic both in the Army Air Corps and as a civilian. So, right out of high school I enlisted into the Marine Corps to become an aircraft electrician on F-4 Phantoms. After 8 yrs of military service, and 3 yrs as a civilian aircraft electrician I decided to make a career change. So, I went to college for the first time at the age of 32.

My Dad was in bad physical health for about the last 5 yrs of his life with PVD, CAD, kidney problems, etc. Plus, he was a heavy smoker & drinker. However, he never, ever missed work d/t alcohol. I can still remember him having a heart attack while we were at convenient store. However, he was a very strong willed man, we got back in the car, and he drove off before the ambulance could arrive. The fall semester of my 5th grade year was spent with several different families while my mother visited my Dad as an inpatient in a VA hospital. He spent the last 6 months of his life in a VA hospital.

So, when I went to college for the first time at age 32 I decided to become a nurse in order to take care those unable to take care of themselves. Maybe in the back of my mind I'm actually taking care of my Dad, still today.

Thunderwolf, MSN, RN · Feb 11, 2006

Most excellent posts, guys.

We carry a little part of Dad in all of us.

11:11 · Feb 15, 2006

I dont see how one could answer 1,2,3,4 without some serious therapy!

And I dont see how it has anything to do with anything.

My father probably had something to do with my joining the Army Im sure.

I think my mother had more to do with me entering nursing. I was impressed with her stories of working in the ICU and ER when I was a kid, and I thought it sounded exciting.

After eight years of homelessness I made a deal with God. I told Him if He would ever get me out of my mess Id become a nurse and help people, even if it meant volunteering at an aids hospice.

I made good on my promise-

11

DaFreak71 · Feb 15, 2006

Wish I could say I had a role model but I didnt. The guy was in WW2 and I figure it put the zap on him. He was in 3 major battles with the Marines in the Islands so when he came back he just wasnt the same guy as before. The only time I ever saw the guy was going into the ground in 84. He lived here in town his whole life with an unlisted number and a family that wouldnt give me the time of day. Bitter. Yea probably but I can tell you it only strengthened the parent/child bonds betewwn me and my kids. As far as having an impact on my nursing.... cant see it, its a whole different animal and I check all the personal baggae at the door when I hit the floor

Thank you for sharing this. My husbands father was emotionally absent his entire life. His father had no expectations of him other than that he "get a job", husbands dad worked in a factory. I remember when my husband decided to go to nursing school (we were living with and taking care of his dad), he just rolled his eyes. Two years later when he graduated, he didn't even come to the ceromony (yeah, we still lived with him). Nothing my husband does will ever merit a "I'm proud of you son" from his father, but his daughter gets high praise for running a snack bar at a golf course. Go figure. My husband is the only one of his five kids to even go to college or do well in school. Luckily he gets support from his mother and I. It does hurt, but as in Don's case and my husbands, it has the potential to make you a better father, husband, friend and nurse. Sometimes we can learn just as much from other peoples mistakes as we can from role models.

Your story meant alot to me. :icon_hug:

Adri

DapperRN · Feb 16, 2006

At the risk of sounding like, well...an idiot what does this mean?

"I dont see how one could answer 1,2,3,4 without some serious therapy!

And I dont see how it has anything to do with anything."