Facing the World Ahead...

jaelpn, LPN

I remember waking up early, sitting outside in that crisp cool air and just wondering what kept me motivated. I often sat outside to catch a breather, and then go back in and finish my studies. I knew I wanted to be someone that helped others since I was a kid; my friends always thought of me like their own mother hen; although I have yet to have any children, I am often the one to make sure that my friends are doing alright, that they aren't in any danger in their lives. I sometimes would put my life on hold for others.

I remember a few years after I graduated high school, I was still working at a nursing home in the dietary department. I needed a change; I was nervous about venturing out; while all my friends went to a university or some college far away, I was stuck.

My parents had five children; I was their third child. My two older siblings slipped from home and joined the military. I was being pushed into joining the military but I never had good running stamina. I was weak and tired all the time. I knew it was a lot to ask of my parents, but I had asked them to help me get into a cna program. Even though it was only $600 for the course, I never liked to ask my parents for help.

They decided to go in half with me. So I went to this small community college and began my 16 week course. I graduated, and worked as a cna for 3 years; in that time I paid my parents back for the help of getting me started. I had also in that time decided to get my EMT, thinking that my path to success would be to become a paramedic.

I did graduate and get nationally certified but I decided after hearing that a dear friend of mine got killed in a car accident, ejected and dying on impact after he suffered head injuries from hitting the highway, I wasn't sure if my heart could really survive in that field.

I decided it was now or never- military or nursing school. I was living paycheck to paycheck at this time, living with my parents and working for barely over minimum wage for a cna. I had to work- there was no getting out of that. I was still always weak and tired, but knew I had to push my way through. I signed up for an LPN course and decided that I had to do this for me. I ended up working 32 hrs a week on top of full time school. I put my all into the course; I'd stay up late studying. I'd wake up early and study more, go to class, go to work and come home and do it all over again.

Mid-way through nursing school I made an appointment with my doctor. I told him that despite how I was working and going to nursing school, I couldn't shake this tiredness and fatigue. I ended up being diagnosed with hypothyroidism. He began me on synthroid and tested my levels. I began to feel much better with more energy. I finally felt like I could keep up with everyone else.

I remember the day that made me feel like I was ready to venture out to the world; the day I received my nursing cap. I had walked up the aisle, faced my instructor and she placed my nursing cap on, held it tight with bobby pins and I stood to face the rest of my classmates and I just felt this immediate happiness. Oh, there were times during nursing school that I had it, I was done, I couldn't go on. But stepping out into the world with this white cap- I felt like I could persevere. This was finally my time to succeed.

I had a strong friendship with a lady I met in nursing school. She was 47 and decided after working at Walmart for years, she wanted to fulfill her life long dream of becoming a nurse. We studied together and had laughed and cried through the months.

After a year or so of our lpn graduation, I heard she had died from liver cancer. She never told me she had cancer, and yet she always pushed forward. I often think she is guiding me to continue on with passion for nursing. She died peacefully. Sometimes I think that God sends people into our lives for a reason; maybe she was the reason that kept me going in nursing school.

The world is a land of opportunity for each and every nurse; whether you are just now starting on your journey, or have been in this field for a while. We never know who is going to come into our lives and change us.

There is never a day that goes by that I am not thankful that my parents had gave me hope by giving me that $300 to start cna class; through that, I finally made my way through lpn school to where now I have a hope that I can face the world ahead. I feel that my life has finally started- I feel wide awake.

Facing the World Ahead...

About jaelpn, LPN

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