Excited...But SCARED!!!!!!!

JGLPN2BE · Jun 9, 2005

Hi there. I wish you all the luck on your nursing journey. College is hard but if you put your all into to it you can do it. Just study as much as you can and good-luck with it all. We are all here to help!

Bobbye · Jun 9, 2005

Hey, I don't know much about your condition but I am here to listen. And give any advice you may need. I can tell you from experience not to put limitations on yourself. I always tell myself I can do better, even if it is just a little bit. And if you think about it, to me it seems like you are being led in this direction for a reason. You may be able to use your life experiences to help a fellow human being, after all isn't that why we are here. I feel good about your situation, and I always trust how I feel. It probably isn't going to be easy for you, but really what is. Work hard at all you encounter, and when you think you can not got any farther, ask for help, and push on. Good luck to you and all that you do. I say if you can raise children you can do just about anything. Bobbye

arciedee · Jun 9, 2005

Welcome Kristi!

I know the community colleges in my state offer courses in science, math, etc. that are meant for students who either didn't take the coursework in HS or want a refresher before they start with the regular college-level classes. Maybe you could check into something like that... it would give you the background you'll need and get you back into the swing of school and give you some confidence before you tackle the big stuff.

I'd also recommend trying to find a new health care provider who will really listen to your concerns and needs and help you through this. I know how difficult it is, but I think that might help, too.

Best of luck in your pursuit! Keep us posted :)

Aneroo, LPN · Jun 9, 2005

Kristi- First of all, major props to you for not giving up and deciding to do something positive with your life. As much as you may want to rush into it, I would suggest starting out slow. Taking one to two classes as semester. This gives you the chance to immerse yourself in that subject, make some awesome grades as well. I would also go ahead and talk to some of the instructors at the college (nursing), find out what they suggest. Talk to some former students and find out what instructors they had for those subjects, who is best. Good luck, keep us updated!

Also, do you know what are of nursing you want to go into? -Andrea

Shastalee99 · Jun 12, 2005

Hello, My name is Kristi. This is my first post. I'll give you an EXTREMELY brief history..
I am 26 (The 17th), and married with two beautiful daughters, ages 10 and 6. I had a stroke in my medulla at age 22. The main symptoms were ataxia and vertigo, for which I was prescribed Valium. I was never told that my body would become dependent on it. I received SSD after a long battle, so that's how I manage to pay the bills.
I decided...None of the doctors that I am seeing are helping me, so it's time to help myself. It's possible that my brain is healed, and that the benzos are masking the "wellness" that I should be experiencing. So I decided to taper my Valium really slow. I was on 20-25mg a day, now I am on 7.5mg a day. Still a really long way to go but I am over half way there! Slow and steady wins the race!
I have wanted to be in the medical field since my first Fisher Price medical kit. I had a lot of obstacles in my life..being a Mom at 15 and being forced to drop out of high school as a freshman, and being kicked out of my house was a big blow to my dreams. I had to work full time + a lot of overtime to provide for my family. I had received my GED when I was 16, but there was nothing that I could do with it at the time. I think having a stroke at a young age was a wake up call for me. I have a whole new perspective on life. I look at is as a gift. Once I am off the Valium I plan to go to college to get a nursing degree. It has always been my passion. I just pray to God that the benzos haven't done permanent damage to my brain. Have any of you heard of this?
I spoke with the Social Security Administration, and they said that I could continue my education while receiving benefits. I am really lucky!
Now, here is my biggest fear.....since I was forced to drop out of High School as a freshman, I obviously have to advanced math or science classes behind me. I am terrified that I won't even pass the pre reqs! I have drive and passion, but will that be enough?
I bought a few books from "The Idiot's Guide To" series. Algebra, Chemistry, Biology, and A&P. The thing is, right now my benzo brain can't comprehend a paragraph, let alone learn from it! I hope that this will go away and I will be the "sponge brain" that I was once before.
I have browsed this forum, and I understand that a lot of people here don't like their job and are really stressed. I am prepared for the job. TOTALLY. What I am not prepared for is college.
That's my story. Sorry if I bored anyone to sleep. If you made it this far, is there any advice that anyone could offer me? Thank you SOOOOOO much!
Kristi- Hopefully a future nurse!

Hey Kristi,

Man I have so much to share with you. I'm off to bed (it's 12:15 am) but I want you to know that I identify with you 110%. I'm kind of private with my childhood and life, but to me you sound like you have a head on your shoulders, with or without the Valium. Here is my email address: [email protected]

If you need anything, drop me a line. You are strong for mustering the courage to be honest on a first time post. It takes guts to realize a problem and a s&$tload of courage to take the steps to turn it around and improve yourself. Many people cannot get as far as you have. So rock on and keep your head on straight. From what it sounds like, you're on the right track to ultimate success. You need to take the step to believe in yourself along the way.

I was in 2 bad car accidents and was prescribed serious narcotics for the pain while in nursing school. I knew I couldn't continue the medications for fear I'd live a life like my heroin-addicted parents. I'm now on something non-narcotic, but helps my pain. Sometimes I am in a lot of pain and want to take a pain pill, but I know it's a bad idea. Please don't be ashamed either, Kristi. I know many nursing colleagues that are hooked on hydrocodone (Lortab, Vicodin) Xanax, oxycontin and Adderall.

What matters is that you are taking yourself off of the pills. I hope your doctor NP, or PA are helping you taper yourself off so you don't cause harm to your body. It can happen.

Good luck to you! If you want it, you can get it, I swear. I did.

watchthis22 · Jun 12, 2005

Kristi,

I have been exactly where you are! I was preggers at 15, had my second baby 2 months before I turned 18, number 3 came 2 days before I turned 21 and number 4 when I was 24 (of course by then I was finally married!) I dropped out of high school my freshman year when my oldest was born so that I could work full time to support her. I took my GED when I was 17. After my last baby was born I decided it was finally time for me to go back to school. Man was I nervous. I did really well all through school, however, it had been so long and I had never taken most of the math and science classes that were required. But you know, I REALLY wanted to be a nurse, so I buckled down and STUDIED!!! I always sit in the front of the class, if I don't understand something I make sure I ask the instructor or one of my classmates to help, and then I study some more! Here it is 2 years later and I finished all my pre-reqs (3.75 GPA) and have been accepted into my schools ASN program for the fall. If you just keep on pushing through and know that you can do anything, you will be fine!

Good Luck!!

Alyash · Jun 12, 2005

WOW! You guys are WONDERFUL! :icon_hug:

I can't thank all of you enough for your kind, suppportive, encouraging words! It means so much! You all have me in tears!

I didn't clarify myself enough- Before I started my taper, I did find myself a wonderful doctor who is following my taper. I see him once a month. He even has me on an anticonvulsant 'just in case'.

When I do go back to college, I plan on taking it slow, at first at least. I don't want to overwhelm myself! I will take the lowest-level courses that they offer, as many as I feel I need, even if the credits don't count. I definatly don't want to walk in there blindfolded.

I'm not quite sure yet what area of nursing that I'd enjoy most. I guess I'll determine that during clinicals. I'm pretty sure that I'd rather work in a hospital as opposed to an office setting. I would think that an office setting would be to repetitive. As long as I have a good boss I'll be happy. I have had a lot of jobs, and it's the boss who I have found that will make you or break you.

There is something else that I am undecided on: ADN, BSN, or MSN?

I have always loved to learn...(yeah, I'm a nerd ) so I guess I will see how school agrees with me. On one hand, I want to get into the carrer that I have always dreamed of the quickest way possible, but on the other hand, I want to absorb as much knowledge as possible. I'm a Gemini, they're known to not be able to make decisions, so don't blame me, blame the stars! :chuckle

I am also undecided on what school to attend. We have quite a few here, but I am thinking about either a particular Community College, and a four year city college. (a medical college too, but I don't think I'd want to be one of those arrogant doctors!)

How long are the waiting lists usually for nursing programs? I'd hate to excell in all of my pre reqs just to sit around waiting forever! Thanks again for all of your support, also for listining to me ramble. You guys are the best!

:1luvu: Kristi

evans_c1 · Jun 12, 2005

Kristi, I live in Portsmouth Ohio and I attend Shawnee State University. Its an excellent college if you are interested just contact me. They are known in the Tri-State for the RN prgram. I have my first year finished so feel free to yell at me with any questions.

Alyash · Jun 14, 2005

Kristi, I live in Portsmouth Ohio and I attend Shawnee State University. Its an excellent college if you are interested just contact me. They are known in the Tri-State for the RN prgram. I have my first year finished so feel free to yell at me with any questions.

That would be something that I would love to do, unfourtnatly, That is really far away from me, and I can't relocate. But thanks anyway!