thought these were funny and true. add on if desired....
Alas, sometimes in the ER the family is harder to deal with than the patient. Here are some family member we all have seen in our ER:
DOORWAY GAWKER- stands and stares at the staff, arms folded, from the doorway with an impatient, angry looks on their faces
THE VENTRILOQUIST - talks for the patient until you tell them to stop it
THE SHADOW- you have to pry this person away from the patients bedside in order to do your job. then they watch every move you make as you start an IV, give meds, etc.
APATHETIC ANN/ANDY - brings a book, laptop - has a sort of been here/done this attitude - seems uninterested in whats going on
THE SUCKER - accompanies a patient with some kind of bogus chronic problem and has bought into it hook, line and sinker
THE KLEPTOMANIAC - you might catch this person rummaging through the cupboards, drawers and perhaps pocketing a thing or two
THE ERRAND RUNNER - may come up to the desk requesting warm blankets, footies, water, food, more pain meds, etc etc etc
MAMAS BOY MAMA - accompanies their grown son or daughter to the ER and sits with concerned look at bedside
BABY DADDY - accompanies girlfriend to ER and is suspicious of any male that comes into the room. Wants to stay there when pelvic exam is being done.
THE DUMPER- drops off confused mom/dad/annoying sibling/girlfriend/boyfriend and leaves
SPACE INVADERS - crosses that line into the staff area or follows the doctor into their area - definitely a no no
MAJOR HOLIDAY GIFTERS - brings mom/dad/grandma who they haven't seen for months to ER because they "aren't doing that well/can't take care of themselves/need to go to a nursing home"
CHICKEN LITTLE - runs to triage desk requesting help for mom/dad/etc in the car who are dying (99% of the time they are fine). Comes up to the desk and tells you heart monitor is dinging - is that OK??!!!
SUSPICIOUS STAN/STELLA- takes notes - wants names of staff, name of medication, name of tests. Has special "medical notebook"
how 'bout--- I'm gonna leave if you don't do this for me!
Do it. I dare ya.
Diabetic starving----(and 300lbs)---"It's 200pm and I havn't eaten a thing all day, and I'm diabetic!!" oh hear me whimper....awww... poor baby, why didn't you eat before you got here? What does this look like McDonalds? Oh, am I suppose to say "Do you want fries with that vicodin?" LOL
Veins Vern-----"Oh, they can never get my veins, they have to use a Butt......HEY!! YOU GOT IT!!"
On one of my first nights in the ER, I was the Bowel Queen. One fleet, another fleet there, unbelievable. I did like, 53 fleets in one night. Did you take anything to help you go? No I wanted to see how long it would take on it's own.....
I just put fleets everywhere that night. A couple of nights later I was back and the regular staff just said that they only had one while I was off. That night I was up to my elbows in High, Hot, and HecK of a lot. I was "what is going on here"? They all waiting for me to have a poo?
Funny how there always seems to be a common theme on a particular shift. You get two crashing diabetics in a row and then you know you should just get 10 of everything out of the storeroom because that is the flavour of the night.
I loved working in the ER. I wasn't regular staff so I just got a little rush and went back to my regular job on the surgery floor.
You guys just amaze me. All the stuff in your head. Keep it up.
I think that's the key phrase here: I don't know how you ER types stay even "relatively sane" after dealing with a lot of the family/friends out there.
Hello Er nurses everywhere, heres one from the UK -
Frequent Flying Freda - has over 100 attendances in ED, has the symptoms for every illness text book perfect, uses terms such as Haematemisis and melena instead of Puking or pooping blood, usually arrives by ambulance and frequently "does not wait for treatment" as she remembers her favourite tv show starts soon and shes disgusted that you havnt dropped what you are doing to see her even though sees been here 20 minutes and did arrive by ambulance dont you know.....aahhh
For the person who said that flight attendants do not save lives, I beg to differ. Unless you don't want to find the easiest way of ~15 tons of flaming wreckage. Or unless you don't want to be defibbed if you happen to go into cardiac arrest at 37,000 ft. (yeah, I know that anyone can use those). They even have access to meds inflight in certain circumstances. And of course, they deal with people wanting excess beyond what they may be entitled to.
Maybe the hospitals should take up what the airlines are doing. Start directly charging for those cans of pop you may provide. You don't have money, you don't get one. It seems to work for the airlines (however, the airlines don't give "free rides" so it may not work exactly).
But my point is for that same person, you may be amazed at how much nurses have in common with flight attendants. While it may not seem immediately clear, if you walked (flew?) a day in their shoes, the similarities would begin to manifest themselves.
Years ago when they were called stewardesses there was a requirement to be a nurse.
D'oh! How could I forget that?! Thanks azgirl... yes, when the airlines first started up, they required that the flight attendants be registered nurses in case anyone got sick on board and needed medical attention.
It's just a crying shame that "interference of the duties of medical personnel (namely, nurses)" isn't a federal crime as it is for flight attendants.
Funny how things come full circle... stewardesses had to be RNs and now RNs have to be stewardesses. Can I get you anything? Blanket, slippers, food, perhaps your fav tv station? Please fly "Atyourservice ER" again soon "we move our tails for you". A little tongue in cheek but I could not resist.
Specializes in ER - trauma/cardiac/burns. IV start spec.
OK I thought about this one. We got a new "nurse manager" in our ER and on our busiest nights during the dog days when everyone is using their family members as a practice turkey for their carving skills she actually showed up in the ER with a cart filled with coffee, cokes, tea, ice, blankets and graham crackers. She went to the lobby and served everyone that was waiting.
But she only did it once - seems Nursing Services and the CEO did not appreciate her attempt to Please the patients that way:yeah:
We voted on a real way to make the ER pay for itself. In the ambulance bay we would set up 3 tables, one with fried chicken, one with beer and one with work excuses. The Doc on duty (TA) would sign a work excuse for a price, $10 for 1 piece of chicken, one beer and 1 day off work. 20 bucks got you 2,2,and 2 off. for 100 bucks you got all the chicken and beer you could carry and 2 weeks off work. The catch would be it had to be cash up front. Management did not like the idea - they wanted drive through service and offer fries with the demerol, morphine etc.
OK I thought about this one. We got a new "nurse manager" in our ER and on our busiest nights during the dog days when everyone is using their family members as a practice turkey for their carving skills she actually showed up in the ER with a cart filled with coffee, cokes, tea, ice, blankets and graham crackers. She went to the lobby and served everyone that was waiting.
But she only did it once - seems Nursing Services and the CEO did not appreciate her attempt to Please the patients that way:yeah:
We voted on a real way to make the ER pay for itself. In the ambulance bay we would set up 3 tables, one with fried chicken, one with beer and one with work excuses. The Doc on duty (TA) would sign a work excuse for a price, $10 for 1 piece of chicken, one beer and 1 day off work. 20 bucks got you 2,2,and 2 off. for 100 bucks you got all the chicken and beer you could carry and 2 weeks off work. The catch would be it had to be cash up front. Management did not like the idea - they wanted drive through service and offer fries with the demerol, morphine etc.
I just finished 3 x 12hr shifts dealing with all the nitwits the city has to offer. However, I thought we had contained the terrible disease of TSTL and TSTL by Proxy to this area! Now I find out, despite our best efforts, it has spread nationwide and maybe even beyond our borders!
Wonderful to know I am not not in this alone. Great place to vent, laugh, compare notes and relax. In the wide scheme of things, that's what the thread is all about. Thanks for putting it all in perspective.
Oh, and 'window monkeys'-that is hysterical. One of our hallways opposite the nursing station has those type of room with the glass doors and curtains. About 3am Monday morning I was tubing some blood to lab and looked up and all rooms had one or two looking out. Spooky. However, now I know there is a 'correct' name for this type of documented visitor behavior, LOL.
Information Edna/Edward: The family member that answers every single question that you ask the patient, only to have the patient look at them and say "no that's not correct". You can even try turning your back to Edna/Edward but they will still answer.
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:redbeathe
BriBriRN
46 Posts
Ok this is too funny....
how 'bout--- I'm gonna leave if you don't do this for me!
Do it. I dare ya.
Diabetic starving----(and 300lbs)---"It's 200pm and I havn't eaten a thing all day, and I'm diabetic!!" oh hear me whimper....awww... poor baby, why didn't you eat before you got here? What does this look like McDonalds? Oh, am I suppose to say "Do you want fries with that vicodin?" LOL
Veins Vern-----"Oh, they can never get my veins, they have to use a Butt......HEY!! YOU GOT IT!!"
That's all for now...nice post guys :)