Elderly parents

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Can we play "what would you do?” I left an abusive marriage finally after 20 years once my kids were out of highschool. Tried to start a new life, moved in with my parent to help them out, and try to start a new life,  dad already had numerous strokes, (alcoholism and never been to a Dr) next mom has a simple "laminectomy" thats basically left her a paraplegic. Siblings don't live nearby, parents have only Medicare and no assets. Looks like now I have to quit my ADON position to care for her (both of them actually) my question.... "What would you do?” They have no savings, own no property.  Asking for a friend 😭

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Specializes in Psych, Addictions, SOL (Student of Life).

Are they eligable for Medicaid?

 

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Most likely, we're in NJ. Just started the process for Medicaid 

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Specializes in Psych, Addictions, SOL (Student of Life).
nursechrissyRN said:

Most likely, we're in NJ. Just started the process for Medicaid 

It's possible that they may qualify for adult day care which would allow you work while knowing they are cared for. 

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Specializes in Geriatrics, Dialysis.

I'm sorry to hear that. This sounds like it would likely be a long term commitment and unless you have a LOT of savings built up and can afford to take what could be an early retirement, not sure as you don't mention your general age so I'm not sure how close you are to a realistic early retirement, it's unlikely you can afford to be out of work long term.

There should be an elder program in your area, reach out and ask for help finding resources that may help. Home health may be an option for them that would allow you to continue working while still knowing they are cared for.

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Specializes in Have done it all!.

Apply for Medicare/dnp possibly? Maybe find a staye run care facility for them. The only time I have seen a caregiver be OK while caring for a ELO (elderly loved one) is if the elo can be left alone for some periods at a time and is very cooperative and gets along well with the caregiver. I had a friend who took care of his father & his father treated him horribly. His father couldn't be left alone; so very demanding & demoralizing. My bf almost had a nervous breakdown. He had to place him into a home. 
His father was at the end of his life and he was just terrible, as he was his whole life. 
 Please think about all of your options. 
Good luck!

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