Does he have schizophrenia?

Nurses General Nursing

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I am 37 years old and divorced. Recently I met a man who is a divorcee too through a marriage media. He seemed really nice and smart and my mother liked him too. He told me that he was doing some great work with twitter and that even Lady Gaga follows him. We exchanged numbers and we started talking, I helped him get more followers on twitter and encourage him with his music and he was very grateful to me because of all the help and encouragement. He said it didn't work with his earlier wife because she did not encourage him. But as I continued talking to him, he started saying things that didn't sound normal. Some of them were that he believed he would never age, he even twitted about it and he challenged many people regarding this, one day he would become very famous, he came up with a theory that he called the universal combination of numbers and that it was something extraordinary, etc. etc. However, I didn't take it that seriously but still called it off because I felt he was just using me to promote his work, and wasn't serious about settling down. After a month he contacted me and told me that he loved me. In the meantime he also quit his job. But I always had a feeling that he had a child from his earlier marriage and I asked him about it and he said he had a five year old son. I was okay with that. He was suffering from muscle pull that he got at the gym, and I took him to the doctor, where I discovered his actual name. I visited his apartment, and it was very neat and clean and organized, not at all what I was expecting a bachelor's apartment to be like. But last night as I was talking to him, he started sounding crazy again. He said he was going to be the Prime Minister of the country, he was disappointed that after having made such great tweets giving suggestions to the Australian cricket team he never got a call from the cricket board, and that it was a controversy because people were jealous of him. He is not in a good relationship with his mother because she is not handing him over his property, and the one other thing that struck me was that he isn't allowed to speak to his son, but his mother is allowed to spend time with her grandson. And when his mother spends time with her grandson, she doesn't call him over. I asked him if he ever had to see a psychiatrist, and he said that he was taken to doctors since he was a kid, and apparently he had some hormone secretion that made him too ambitious. He was on medication for a long time, but now he doesn't take his medication. I am still not sure if he is trying to sound crazy on purpose to scare me off so he doesn't have to settle down, but still wants to keep me by his side so I would help promote his twitter. I was annoyed and deleted my twitter account and he was really hurt and asked me to open another one. When I wanted to call it off he said I was making a mistake because I wouldn't find another guy who was as great as he was. I was about to tell him that I may be willing to commit if he were willing to do certain things (l was about to say see a doctor and take medication) but he cut me short saying that he'd call me back, but he didn't. He doesn't want to get into serious talk about us. Now my question is, does he have schizophrenia or something or is he just playing with me? Thanks

Specializes in Pedi.
I just feel that if he is sick, it's not his fault. I omitted the good things because what I really want to know is if it is schizophrenia or some other mental disease that can be cured. Does his symptoms match that of a patient suffering from schizophrenia? A link would be very helpful. Thanks

We are nurses. We do not diagnose mental illness. This is a message board for nurses to discuss nursing issues with each other. It is not meant for lay people to come on and ask us to diagnose people in their lives. In fact, that's specifically against the TOS. I do not think you are a nurse, as you just joined the site today and your only posts are on this thread. We cannot tell you if he has schizophrenia. If you would like to see the diagnostic criteria, look up the DSM V. Schizophrenia is chronic, it cannot be cured. It can be managed with antipsychotic medication though, fwiw, a relatively high percentage of schizophrenics stop taking their meds because of the side effects and have a recurrence of symptoms. Actually I believe it's statistically true that a high percentage of homeless people suffer from schizophrenia.

Thank you very much. I am just curious if his symptoms match that of a person suffering from schizophrenia and hence made the post. I thought the details would help but didn't realize that it would seem like a boyfriend issue. As for your speculations about what specific condition it might be, could you provide me a link? If that is not against TOS, it would be very helpful. Thanks

I was about to tell him that I may be willing to commit if he were willing to do certain things (l was about to say see a doctor and take medication) but he cut me short saying that he'd call me back, but he didn't. He doesn't want to get into serious talk about us. Now my question is, does he have schizophrenia or something or is he just playing with me? Thanks

I'm not a Psychiatrist and if I was one I'd want to meet my patient in person before even considering a diagnosis. Please beware that reading diagnostic criteria for various mental illnesses or personality disorders on the internet and attempting to diagnose a person close to you isn't a reliable method.

From your original post your question very much seems like a "boyfriend issue" to me. He's displayed some less than ideal behavior and seems to have problematic relationships with both his son and his mother.

Are you sure you're not just trying to excuse his behavior with the fact he might have a mental illness? As I wrote in my previous post, even if he has an illness you are not going to be the one to help or cure him. You can trust me on that. He'd need professional treatment, not a loving girlfriend. I don't say this to be cruel, I say this to

if possible try to spare you some heartache.

I won't offer a speculative diagnosis but I'll tell you what I see in your post with the eyes of an outsider. I see lack of accountability, an inflated feeling of self, deception/omissions, disrespect for you, dysfunctional relationships with loved ones and perhaps some impulsiveness.

Why would you want to put yourself through this? It's obvious from your OP that your relationship so far hasn't been ideal, that you don't feel like you're a priority in his life and that you have concerns. How have your previous relationships been? Have they been stable and mutually respectful? Do you have children of your own that need consideration in this situation?

Even without knowing you, I know for a fact that you deserve better than what you've described in your post. Everyone does. If it were me I wouldn't accept this kind of a relationship. It's difficult to speculate about the possible danger you could be in, but I will say this. The behavior you describe in many ways matches bahaviors I've previously seen in violent/abusive men.

Ultimately only you can decide what you're willing to put up with and what makes you happy/fulfills your needs.

Good luck OP!

At first, my thoughts of your description of this man were that maybe he's just a bit quirky. As I read further, however, it's blatantly apparant that there are some serious issues going on. Although I am not qualified to offer you likely diagnoses, I can tell you this - you need to be extremely cautious in dealing with this man, who sounds quite unstable. You are putting yourself in danger by continuing communication with him and by visiting his home. You are not the solution to his problems and will only find it more difficult to cut ties the longer you are involved.

I had a family member (female, in her late 20's) who was murdered by a man she was seeing and trying to "help". Not realizing the gravity of her situation cost her her life and her two young daughters a mother.

Please, for your own sake, get out of this situation NOW before it escalates.

Specializes in Leadership, Psych, HomeCare, Amb. Care.

I don't know what country you are in, but here are a few US based links:

NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness | NAMI: The National Alliance on Mental Illness

Home | SAMHSA

And please keep in mind, it is not your job to try to "fix" anyone, especially if they don't want to change.

Specializes in Nephrology, Cardiology, ER, ICU.

You have received some excellent links and advice. We can not offer diagnosis or medical advice.

We wish you well.

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