I wasn't sure where to post this question, so don't mean to step on any toes.
I have civally committed my son recently for depression, suicide attempt #2 and my new found awarness of his heavy heroin use.
I am concerned that Methadone may preempt relapse. He has chronic pain from a motorcycle accident 10 years ago. His addiction started with pain meds and then esclated to heroin.
His feedback to me is that on low doses of Methadone he can keep a quality of life that would be better for him. I don't know much about long-term use of Methadone if there is such a thing.
I'm just happy to have found him "barely" alive, and took him straight to the hospital.
Any helpful information concerning how Methadone works would be appreciated. How is a person weaned off of this?
Sharona, don't wait for D to call to get help for yourself. My goodness, you have been tied up in his addiction for years, and believe it or not, this makes you as sick as he is. I realize that you are his mother, and as mothers we will do ANYTHING to protect our children (am also have a son), but we can not help them if we are not helping ourselves. Have you tried any Alanon meetings or anything of that sort? I would never tell you to turn your back on your child, because I don't know that I could do it, but it is ok to help yourself and to seek out others who are in the same place that you are. The board is good, but sometimes being able to sit down face to face with someone who understands exactly what you are going through, and who has been where you are is very healing and comforting.
I sincerely hope that he finds his way back to you, and to recovery. I know that it takes some of us alot longer than others. My folks spent alot of holidays not knowing whether is was dead or alive.
Specializes in Impaired Nurse Advocate, CRNA, ER,.
Sharona, don't wait for D to call to get help for yourself. My goodness, you have been tied up in his addiction for years, and believe it or not, this makes you as sick as he is. I realize that you are his mother, and as mothers we will do ANYTHING to protect our children (am also have a son), but we can not help them if we are not helping ourselves. Have you tried any Alanon meetings or anything of that sort? I would never tell you to turn your back on your child, because I don't know that I could do it, but it is ok to help yourself and to seek out others who are in the same place that you are. The board is good, but sometimes being able to sit down face to face with someone who understands exactly what you are going through, and who has been where you are is very healing and comforting.
I sincerely hope that he finds his way back to you, and to recovery. I know that it takes some of us alot longer than others. My folks spent alot of holidays not knowing whether is was dead or alive.
You beat me to it sweezie!
Sharona, D's brain has been altered to the point that his survival instincts or "drives" (air, food, water, sex, etc.) have been superseded by heroin. His primordial brain truly believes heroin is necessary to survive...more necessary than anything else. When his brain perceives an obstacle or threat to his survival (i.e., using heroin), he will do or say whatever it takes to eliminate that obstacle.
Your son is still in there...this demon called addiction has abducted him. The only way to get him back is for him to receive the detox and treatment he needs. You've done what you can, now take care of Sharona by following sweezie's recommendations to go to Al Anon.
I have been involved with them since my late teens. My mom is an alcoholic.
I do get the relief I need for support by talking with the others. I am proud of the progress I've made in identifying the anger, confusion and all that.
I guess what I meant about waiting for Dylan to call is that I want to be involved in the family sessions. I'm just not sure if his anger will relaease for us to attend.
I realize his anger is not my problem, I just hope to be included in his family seesions at the treatment center. I do get it that it's out of my control how he responds to this.
Specializes in Impaired Nurse Advocate, CRNA, ER,.
Have you discussed this with the treatment center? Maybe you can still attend even if D doesn't want you to be there. Different programs have different philosphies. Some require family involvement since it is such an important factor in recovery.
Specializes in Emergency Medicine, Dr. Office, Psych.
My heart bleeds for you! Honestly, a child hurting has to be the worst pain in the world!
My g/f (she is also a nurse) & her husband & I have talked about her daughters recovery in length, at one point she had to take off work to stay w/ her daughter & give her the strength she needed to stay strong! But every child is different, she did tell me that her daughter hated her as well, was livid with her for making the same descision that you made, but you made it out of love for him & out of want to keep him around for many years, he will see that when he gets over the anger. Her daughter did & hasnt been happier, her daughter as well had a relapse & off to the ER they went to spend another tearful day of not knowning, but that was i believe 2 yrs ago, and she still has her daughter home w/ her....... so it takes time, it takes relapses it takes courage, all of which you have done...
Some people, who can manage their addiction & have a strong backing to keep them strong can use methadone & use it wisely for what its intended... Most can't and thats what makes it sad...
Your son will pull through this, just give him time, give him space, but keep in touch w/ his sources , they will keep you posted on his progress, and he will soon come around to let you know that he is sorry for how he treated you & he will realize in time that you did it all out of love for him...........
I will pray that your days become easier with time & that you son gets the help that he so desperately needs and comes to accept the fact that you did it all out of love for him... I know in my heart that he will see it, it just may take him longer than we expect..
Just remember, we do more for our children than we would do for anyone & we should never regret it, we birth them, we raise them & we want them to be around our entire lives, you were just trying to make sure he did stick around for your entire life!
Do not regret your decision to get him help, you would have regreted your decision not to if something aweful would have happened to him.
You did the right thing, I would have done the same for my son, in a heartbeat..
Be strong Mom, we are all behind you!
Get support from those who are strong & you will make it through this ...
Take care of yourself..
My thoughts & prayers are with you. :heartbeat:saint:
Sharona, I am so glad to hear that you are involved in a recovery program. I just would like to share my experience with you. Your son is not mad at you, he is mad that you interupted his using because he wants more of the drug. He would be angry with anyone who got between him and his next fix. Believe it or not, underneath that anger he loves you very much, and if he is anything like the rest of us, it tears him up inside. All the more reason to get that next fix: it is what takes all that pain away from us temporarily that we do not know how to deal with on our own.
My parents enabled me for years and years and years. I always knew that if I called they would come and get me. It was not until my mom passed away from cancer and my dad got remarried that he finally stopped being my crutch. Mind you, I still did not quit using for many years after that, but I finally reached that point where I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. Also, I missed my family so very much. The decision to stop had to be mine though. I loved my family and what I was doing to them ate me up inside, but it did not make me stop. I am now 43 and have a great relationship with my dad and my siblings, but it was a long hard road for all of us. They, of course, had no reason to really believe that I would stay sober. They had seen and heard it all before.
Pray, pray, pray for your son. It is only by God's grace that I am sitting here today, and able to enjoy my own son.
Specializes in Emergency Medicine, Dr. Office, Psych.
Sharona, I am so glad to hear that you are involved in a recovery program. I just would like to share my experience with you. Your son is not mad at you, he is mad that you interupted his using because he wants more of the drug. He would be angry with anyone who got between him and his next fix. Believe it or not, underneath that anger he loves you very much, and if he is anything like the rest of us, it tears him up inside. All the more reason to get that next fix: it is what takes all that pain away from us temporarily that we do not know how to deal with on our own.
My parents enabled me for years and years and years. I always knew that if I called they would come and get me. It was not until my mom passed away from cancer and my dad got remarried that he finally stopped being my crutch. Mind you, I still did not quit using for many years after that, but I finally reached that point where I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. Also, I missed my family so very much. The decision to stop had to be mine though. I loved my family and what I was doing to them ate me up inside, but it did not make me stop. I am now 43 and have a great relationship with my dad and my siblings, but it was a long hard road for all of us. They, of course, had no reason to really believe that I would stay sober. They had seen and heard it all before.
Pray, pray, pray for your son. It is only by God's grace that I am sitting here today, and able to enjoy my own son.
And, oh yeah, the one and only time that I od'd and ended up on a vent, unconcious in the ICU for three days was from taking methadone. Go figure.
WOW! That's an eye opener.
Glad you are here today!
I really do get it that it is the disease talking and that D is not really angry at me. It is misplaced anger.
I, probably like many others, feel guilty at times, then I sort it out, then I get get sad again like tonight.
I decided to call the treatment center that his SS worker told me he would probably go to and he is not there. Nor at the last place.
So I feel better that I tried to find out how he is doing, yet I don't know where he is.
The day the SS met with him after my bust call, he called as I said before. Then later that afternoon I kept getting a phone call from the jail system in Hennepin county. D lives in Ramsey county. And the guy said a name I didn't recognize.
Was it someone calling for Dylan? I called the customer service number and it was automated too. I had to pay for phone time for someone to come on.
So I hung up.
Maybe he is in jail for revoking the stay of commitment. That's ok too.
I'll find out when I find out I guess.
Thanks to all for your prayers. I really believe in the power of prayer!
Specializes in Emergency Medicine, Dr. Office, Psych.
If you decide that you want to know if he is in jail you can email me, I can get you the link to your states Prison system & you can look up online to see if he is indeed incarcerated.
( i have those links since thats where i work & i wouldnt mind helping you set your mind at ease) All i need is your state in which you live & i can get you a link to that states prison system.
Hope you know how much you did for him, even if he is in jail, he is getting the "away" time from the deadly poison that has had a hold of him for so long... It might be the best thing for him to have down time w/out temptation & all that !
Your a great mom! I am sure he thinks the same! :loveya:my heart goes out to you for your dedication & strength!
:yeah:
sweezie
5 Posts
Sharona, don't wait for D to call to get help for yourself. My goodness, you have been tied up in his addiction for years, and believe it or not, this makes you as sick as he is. I realize that you are his mother, and as mothers we will do ANYTHING to protect our children (am also have a son), but we can not help them if we are not helping ourselves. Have you tried any Alanon meetings or anything of that sort? I would never tell you to turn your back on your child, because I don't know that I could do it, but it is ok to help yourself and to seek out others who are in the same place that you are. The board is good, but sometimes being able to sit down face to face with someone who understands exactly what you are going through, and who has been where you are is very healing and comforting.
I sincerely hope that he finds his way back to you, and to recovery. I know that it takes some of us alot longer than others. My folks spent alot of holidays not knowing whether is was dead or alive.