Does it ever get to you?

YES! There are definitely cases that tug on your heart strings. I have been in nursing for 13 years, and it still doesn't get easier for me. I will give you an example:

My mother died from renal small cell carcinoma. She was a brave woman, an intelligent woman who ironically studied cancer tx and toxicology. We were a close knit family and shared so many things. When she was well, we talked on the phone several times a day. During the last few months of her life, I quit my job to help care for her. She died at home, with all of the family surrounding her bed as she passed. It took a long time for me to stop reaching for the phone to call her about events in my life. I miss her every single day.

Not long after she passed, I was working in the PACU and was assigned to a young man that just had a partial nephrectomy for renal small cell ca. He was 31, had a wife and 3 daughters. He was clearly in pain and I gave him everything under the sun to decrease his pain level. I was concerned that he continued to grunt in pain, was restless, and couldn't speak clearly, although his vitals were stable. As tears were streaming down his face, I immediately asked him if his pain had increased and he looked up at me and said, "I am just so thankful that I came through the surgery. I thought I was going to die in surgery. I had my will in place, I kissed my daughters and my wife in pre-op and honestly thought that was the last kiss I would experience. My tears are tears of joy. I am able to see them again." I had to excuse myself and asked one of the other PACU nurses to cover for me while I cried like a baby in the bathroom.

We as nurses can identify with pts who are going through events that we ourselves have experienced. It hits close to home, and makes us more aware of the challenges our pts face. I give strength and I gain strength from these pts. It is the best gift I could ask for as a nurse to care for those that touch my heart like this young man did.

I'm pretty immune to it now. I don't get personally involved with people. I have a patient that is going in for a bypass, and his odds of survival are slim. The CV surgeon asked me if I wanted him to call me and let me know how it goes. I said no. If I never see the patient again, I'll assume it didn't go well, lol. If you let yourself get too involved your heart will break everyday. Have to keep work at work and in it's proper perspective.

I am so excited about starting to nursing school in the fall. I think it is going to be a really good fit for my personality. One of the things I am worried about, though, is dealing with the tough cases. I am a naturally strong person. When my husband was in the hospital facing death or paralysis, I feel like I was the rock that others leaned on. But some things creep through and just tug at my heart strings. To you seasoned nurses, was there a time when you had to deal with an especially rough case that "got to you"? How did you stay strong through it? Does it get better the longer you've been working?

Sure it gets to me sometimes. I almost never ever cry and have never done so at work. I am not that type of person but things still affect me, even if others can't tell. You stay strong because there is no other choice. None, no one else will do your next admission, after your pt is coded and dies or transfers to the ICU, no one else will give your other pts their meds, dressing changes etc. You have to stay in the zone in order to do you job. All of the sad/tough cases get to be more of the same, to me that means I start getting desensitized to them. I have not even worked as a nurse for 2 years and already I have seen so many young people in MVAs now paralyzed, strokes, now non -verbal with a trach/peg etc.... amputations, debilitating trauma/illnesses, tbi's, CF, not to mention the older patietns with tons of illnesses who are now comfort care, excpected to die on your shift with a room ful of tearful family memebers......It is tough to deal with sometimes because there is no debriefing period, you just move on to the next.....

I am not a seasoned nurse but yeah it gets to me sometimes. I have been a nurse for less that 2 years. I have learned so much during this time. Being in the room as a hospice patient in their 60's struggles to breathe then watching as they take their last breath is very difficult. I don't know how it couldn't affect someone. That was the first death that I had experienced as a nurse. It took a couple of days for me to stop thinking about it. My skin has become thicker since then but I'm pretty sure it will always have cracks...