Doctors' Chart Bloopers

Bobo · May 17, 1999

Some additional quotes made by physicians in actual medical records:

 Discharge status: alive but without permission.

 The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1983.

 The patient refused an autopsy.

 The patient has no past history of suicides.

 Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.

 Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.

 Since she can't get pregnant with her husband, I thought you would like to work her up.

 She is numb from her toes down.

 Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.

 Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

 Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid.

 The patient was prepped and raped in the usual manner.

 Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation

AprilSN · Jan 17, 2003

These are funny. How about : "please fax face sheet as tolerated."

macspuds · Nov 26, 2004

What a delightful site!

I have enjoyed all the things that I have wandered into on this site.

I thank you all.

lovingangeluk · Nov 26, 2004

This wasnt a doctors blooper but a care assisstant in a home for learning disabilities that i used to work in.. To set the scene it was June time and in the notes was written..

"Suppositories given, sat on the toilet with no result, will try again after christmas"

Pattiecake · Nov 26, 2004

I just can't stay away from this thread. I read this stuff and laught til I'm crying and coughing. My family thinks I'm nuts.

KarafromPhilly · Nov 27, 2004

Doctor meant to write, "Wean off O2, keep sats > or = to 92%. However, he was busy/stressed and didn't like the patient very much so wound up writing, "Wean, keep sats

Pattiecake · Nov 29, 2004

Anyone notice this thread started in 1999?

Fluesy · Nov 29, 2004

Still funny though:chuckle

taby · Nov 11, 2005

pt ambulating in hall, sister towing I.V. pole

**RosesrReder, BSN, MSN, RN** · Nov 11, 2005

Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared.
Father died in his 90's of female trouble in his prostate and kidneys.
Skin: Somewhat pale but present.
The pelvic examination will be done later on the floor.
Vomiting of unknown origin.
Admitted in error.
Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.
Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
Patient has two teenage children but no other abnormalities.
Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
Dr. Blank is watching his prostate.
If he squeezes the back of his neck for 4 or 5 years it comes and goes.

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

squeakykitty · Oct 1, 2007

:idea:

some additional quotes made by physicians in actual medical records:
 discharge status: alive but without permission. you need permission?
 the patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1983.
 the patient refused an autopsy. hmmm, wonder why?
 the patient has no past history of suicides.
 patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital. ok, who forgot to bring them?
 between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
 since she can't get pregnant with her husband, i thought you would like to work her up. hoo boy, i wonder how they're going to explain or bill for that procedure??:roll:roll
 she is numb from her toes down.
 occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
 exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized. whoa!
 rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid. now that's one thorough exam!!
 the patient was prepped and raped in the usual manner.
 both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation

who cares if this thread started in 1999, keep them coming, please! i'm sure there's other funny ones.