Do I have any options?

[LCinTraining]

I have a useless bachelors degree. In 15 years I have never found employment in my field and have had a string of fast food jobs to Help my husband sustain our family. I began the track towards nursing and got a job as a nurses assistant. I love my job. I got mono last semester (semester two of clinical for me in my ADN program) and was forced to take that semester off.

In that time, my husband left. And yes he pays court appointed child and spousal support, I am still running out of money every single paycheck. I only pay for essentials barring a Mc Donald's frozen coffee once or twice a week when I have to be up for 24 hours straight for work.

I just did the math. After rent, I have 200 dollars left. My childcare provider for clinical is 100 a week. That leaves nothing for groceries. I am facing the stark reality that after working toward this goal for ten years, stopping every time my husband pitched a fit, only to try and return later, that I may not be able to finish.

My job's education plan is 1k a year and the expectation you will sign on for 3 years each time they give it to you. They do not pay ahead. I would have to pay out of pocket and they would reimburse if my grades are fine.

I seriously contemplated a second job, but with my kids and their therapies (2 high functioning ASD) it would be a moot put because all study time would be gone.

I just don't know what to do.

I contemplated an online degree but hear so much negative about them, and I had to purchase a computer through my bookstore, just so I could use my financial aid as I had no money for the purchase. If I drop out this semester I am stuck paying the college back for the computer and not sure how that will affect my financial aid. I will obviously not have the funds to pay for it until I have my degree.

I just don't know what to do at this point and am pretty down and out and overwhelmed thinking about it all.

[nurseladybug12]

Does your school bookstore offer rentals on books? It is a lot cheaper. Also, if the foodstamps are not enough there is always a food bank. Perhaps you should let your ex take care of the children and if you lose child support and are homeless, you could go to a women's shelter and attend school. I honestly think it is worth the sacrifice of getting a good education in order to support you and your children. It would not be forever. There are many people in the world that do take advantage of the system and care for children and the elderly in order to get a check, and yes that's insincere and scummy and I get that, you don't want him to benefit from it but you may just have to suck it up for now. Also, if you are this poor that you cannot support yourself I do not think they could get much out of you in terms of child support, you cant get blood from a stone. I grew up dirt poor, one winter our furnace broke so we heated our house with a kerosene heater, so we boiled water on top of the kerosene heater to bathe in. We ate food from food banks and had to drink powdered milk that you have to add water to. I have lived in relative's basements that were barely suitable for living and slept on an army cot. So life can get pretty unbearable and bleak looking but it will not be that way forever, you have to do what you have to do.

[LCinTraining]

It's not the books that are a problem. I have most of my books in e-format from the semester I had mono. It's the supplies. The ati registration, the lab bags, and the things the school designs specifically for the program and does not allow you to buy used.

Regarding food pantries, I have humbled myself to go to one. I am not against going again. With my boy's diets all that I can get for them is rice and applesauce there though and since I have a little of both right now, I can hold off. My kids are dairy free, so um...not sure what that means other than, almond milk is pricey but I only use it for making their bread to add some calcium. We buy no sodas, I buy enough juice to give little guy his meds in as he won't take them with water, and we drink water from the tap.

It's the childcare that's the hugest issue.

I will not give them to my husband. I would not see them again and he would fight me tooth and nail to get them back at the end. He already tells them things that make them think I am the reason for everything. He is slowly trying to compel them to want to stay with him forever. Many days I fear he will be successful.

In other news, I have been so stressed about all of this that I haven't had time to study. I must be learning something at work because my first quiz I had more meds right than I ever would have imagined (def not 100% but passable). And at my first skills assessment I was too stressed to care about worrying if my needle placement was right. I nailed every single injection and question regarding those medications and reconstitutions. My classmates studied all week for this skills assessment. Many had to repeat and I truly believe it was their nerves that got the best of them as they are brilliant and do know their stuff. I think I was just too tired and stressed about simply being able to stay enrolled that I did not have room for test nerves.

[LCinTraining]

Well, so much for that. My son got kicked out of his babysitter's today.

My options are finished.

Goodbye nursing school.

Hello 25k in student loans plus what the soon to be exhusband left me with.

And no way to pay for any of it.

[crossfitnurse]

No offense but instead of being so negative in your last post, pick yourself up and take all the advice you were given. There are other baby sitters. You can make it happen if other people have done it, it's hard but you can make it happen.

Nursing school doesn't care about where you're coming from or what's gone or going on. You can get help - you just need to look for it. All these people have offered great info. Take it and make it happen or accept failure.

[LoveNeverDies]

I would try to have the babysitter reconsider for a short period until you find another babysitter. Try to find a cheaper apartment and utilize food shelters. See if your area has income based housing, a friend of mine lives in one and pays 75$ of rent a month. You are close, I would never pay the 25k for nothing. You are strong just have two special children alone and being in school. You CAN find a way. Please do not give up. While not in your situation, I had to come up with money for school to. I even considered selling my eggs to pay for school if I had to. Please try just a little bit longer, obviously your success with class shows you that you should be here. IF you must bow out, try to talk to your school about giving you one more change next year and get your life in order in that time. I would try to go to court and move closer to home with the children, if all else fails.

[minniebrown]

I hope you have not quit yet! I'm so sorry to hear what you are going through, but I hope you don't quit. I think you can make it through this period, but like other people have said you are going to have to get creative. I do think your life will be better if you see nursing through to the end.

If I were in your shoes, I would take whatever help I could get from whoever would offer. Even if you are not a church goer, I would very strongly suggest going to local churches. They almost always have food assistance, some kind of childcare assistance and at the very least they are usually a good resource for people that get in similar circumstances. There have to be programs in your area that cater to women going through similar situations. I'm not married and I don't have kids, but I have gone through some very difficult financial times. I don't exactly know what you are going through, but if I did have kids I would have to humble myself to get it done. I don't mean to offend you, but I do think your life would be better with a nursing degree. And I would also ask my family for money or a loan. If you were my sister and I had the cash, I would give it to you. Just keep asking and doors will open for you. Don't lose hope.

[green34]

Well, I would reconsider doing an LPN program. I would also look at FAFSA and see if if you included your husband's income in on it and if you revise it, would it change? Does your school partner with any loan providers?

[LCinTraining]

I have tried pretty much all that has been suggested. Even still, this semester is finished for me, as I cannot find alternate care fast enough to continue. Which means my time in this program is finished. They will not let me back. I do not fault them for their rules. They are there for a reason. It is just sad that I have out so much time into this school and will not be able to complete the program.

I have only my engagement ring and wedding band for jewelry. That I am hoping to get enough by selling it to get my car inspected.

I have a church music degree. It's hard to get a job in your field when you don't go to church anymore. Besides, it would pay worse than I get paid now.

Maybe I should look into music therapy. I don't know if it is financially smart or not. It seems like a low paying occupation for the amount of education required.

I don't know what to really do anymore.

Yes, I know I sound negative. It has been one thing after another, daily for over a week now in top of the stress of the impending divorce. I am just in a dark place right now and do not see it resolving any time soon. Everyone says it will. I just hope they are right.

[pmabraham, BSN, RN]

Good day, LCinTraining:

I cannot imagine what you are going through. While I grew up in a very poor family, been on food stamps, and had a time period where I thought I would be homeless, I did not have children to take care of at the time.

Hopefully you don't mind that I prayed for you - for your provision, for a light at the end of a tunnel, and that you don't lose hope.

As someone whose been through very dark times (I'm not comparing as I'm not in your shoes) over the years, I can share that dark times come to a close where you go on through it. For me, I found hope through Jesus -- NOT church, not dogma, not religion. I'll end there as I'm not trying to preach to you. It seems you've been burnt badly; all I know how to help you is to pray and hope.

While you may have to redirect your path, please don't give up on yourself, don't lose hope.

Thank you.

[lindseylpn]

I went to LPN school with several single mothers that got their schooling paid for. A friend I went with got a pell Grant, got her tuition and books paid for, got a check to pay for her scrubs and supplies, got food stamps and living expense money from a families first program, she lived in a nice section 8 apartment and even got a monthly check to pay her utilities. She got childcare from the housing authority. She worked at a fast food restaurant one or two days a week and didn't get any child support. Several other students got sponsered by the school and had to work at the school so many hours a month. I'm not exactly sure how that worked though. Other students got their school paid because they got laid off from a job or couldn't find employment in their field, I'm not exactly sure how that worked either though. I think different schools are different, like my school wouldn't accept any student loans but, would accept all the programs I listed above. This was ten years ago so, idk if things work the same but, I'm sure their are some programs that could help you. Maybe try a different school??

[minniebrown]

I'm sorry things are going rough for you. I hope you are able to find a way to reach your goals, even if it is some time down the line. You have come a long way and you seem like a good person. Be encouraged :) Every thing happens in it's time.

[Stephalump]

LC, I'm SO sorry you're struggling. I know you've worked so hard to get to this point. You're definitely stuck between a rock and a hard place, an you seem to have exhausted your options.

I've been there - used every ounce if resourcefulness in me - and have still come up short (and burnt a few bridges along the way), because sometimes there is just too much stacked up. 2.5 years ago I was homeless and desperately trying to get through school, but I hit a wall. I had to quit.

But believe me when I say that it's temporary. Your situation will change as everything in life does, and if you seize the opportunity, you can bounce back. Get on waiting lists for Childcare assistance, contact your local workforce commission, do whatever it takes. But for now....take care of yourself and your little ones. I expect to see you back here soon :-)