I am a new grad and today was my last day of orientation. I was upset a few weeks ago because they wanted me to do another week on days before switching to nights. I tried to tell them I felt ready, but they had made up their mind. I cried. Right in front of my manager. I felt so stupid. But I got through it and in the end appreciated the extra time. I had had LOTS of preceptors, and they had given me a week of vacation early in training and I think that had set me back. But again, I got through it.
My nights have been decent, but they've been a little crazy. I didn't have much of a chance to get my routine down because I kept getting admissions RIGHT at the beginning of my shift, and (according to my preceptors) had a couple heavy assignments that probably weren't appropriate for a new grad "trying to get a routine down." But I got through and I feel I've been still improving.
But, yesterday, my second-to-last night of orientation, went great. I was told I was ready, I felt accomplished. Today I had a new preceptor but the same patients. It was a manageable day and I took it kind of easy, which I realize was terribly stupid. I was behind and disorganized on my documenting/charting but I got it done and my preceptor, though he nagged me, didn't have to hold my hand. I got the actual patient care done, and what I got from the discussion afterwards was that I had done such a terrible job charting that they wanted me to do another entire week of orientation. I'll admit, it was bad, but I don't think it was THAT bad. Both times this happened my preceptors went to my nurse educator/manager without talking to ME first. I was not included in the discussion and it was always dropped on me at the very last minute. And I was totally blindsided. Again, too upset to have a rational discussion and I just kind of cried and stammered. Awful
I need some encouragement and words of wisdom. I'm not sure how to approach the next week. I want to prove that I'm independent so I'm planning on asking my preceptors to back off (in a much more professional way, of course) and just audit my charting so they can see that I'm doing it. But otherwise leave the work to me and give me some space. I'm also not sure if that's the only issue because I don't trust that they've been very honest with me. I kept saying, "how do you thinks it's going" and they would say "fine." Apparently not. Any ideas?
