Disappointed

[nerdy student]

This site is supposed to be a place where nurses and future nurses can come for advice and support, and since I have joined I have barely seen that. I have posted several topics asking for help with an entrance exam, and not one person has replied. I'm not asking for a flood of responses, but one would have been more then enough. For people who claim that their a 'family', you don't treat people who are wanting to become part if your family very well. I'm very disappointed and a little hurt that not one person could extend a hand to help a struggling student.

[la_chica_suerte85, BSN, RN]

I've asked several question on how I can be more clear, and no response. People we're quick to criticize but not give me help to my questions. Should I reword them?

Well, you could start by using the search function and seeing the many posts about the Kaplan entrance exam. That can give you an idea of who actually has taken the Kaplan entrance exam and can reasonably be expected to offer advice. Unfortunately, it seems like most people are doing TEAS or HESI and few are doing other tests like Kaplan and PAX. There's not really a reason to get offended or disappointed by the lack of response. Like others have said, it's a law of averages. If you were taking the TEAS, you would have received more responses than what you would have been able to use. There's not really any reason to wax poetic over how to maximize responses, especially when your particular inquiry is specific and not as commonly seen on this forum. However, there were a lot of good older threads addressing the Kaplan entrance exam.

[nerdy student]

I'm sorry you're having a hard time. A lot of times when reactions come very naturally to us, we are completely oblivious to how they are perceived by others. For instance, when you say "I'm very disappointed and a little hurt...", that is an indicator that a lack of responses is being taken personally. Maybe there's a slight possibility that's not what's happening, but when you're on a forum full of strangers, all you can really do is go with the law of averages. From the POV of someone perceiving your comment, "disappointed" and "hurt" are personal feelings, so something is being taken personally. It's the same for sounding defensive. Tone and intent really can't be transmitted, so all anyone can go on is the typical meaning of what and how you're saying it. In a typical interaction, statements like your first response indicate defensive positioning. But like I said, there are so many things that often come naturally to us individually that we're blinded to public perception.

For what it's worth, I can say that, A, if I see the title of a thread and I already know I don't have any substantive information to add, I don't respond to it because I already have the attention span of a fruit fly. And quite frankly, I rarely even sift through the different categories. I mostly just glance through what's trending and then get sidetracked with something else that caught my attention.

I'm not a particularly salty person. I definitely have feelings. Although I try not to give them any weight in most situations, I do find it's helpful in understanding others and how certain things may make them feel, even if they themselves don't fully realize it. All that's to say, it's okay to not get any replies and feel kind of:

But you gotta get out of your head for a few minutes and examine it from an impersonal perspective. Then it seems much less personal and more just the norms of anonymous online forums.

Thank you for your response, you've had the most constructive thoughts, and have given me a lot to consider. Thank you for you time and your kind words :)

[Extra Pickles]

In figure some one would say something like that. I never once said anything about being liked or not like, I'm perfectly confident and comfortable with myself with or without your "like" or dislike. I don't have a Facebook or any other social media sites, I don't need that noise in my life. And how exactly am I taking everything personally? Yes I did post something about how frustrated I was about the exams and howbibwas considering quitting, but I have come along ways. How exactly we're my post hard to read or need to be reworded? When I meant family, I meant in a metaphorical sense, a community that bands together to help people like them, but it seems I am mistaken.

This response to HouTX is probably the best example of why you might not have gotten the responses you were hoping for. You are hoping for too much, and you are being very defensive. She told you that sometimes people ask for very specific information and there might not be people who can answer it so they don't. Then you come back all mad because in your mind no one bothered to respond to you (and you seem to take that personally). I'm sorry for you that you are hoping for so much support on a message board but this really isn't a support group and it isn't a family. And you know what, sometimes the best advice we can possibly get is from a stranger on a message board who tells you that you are taking things too personally and are being too defensive, both of those behaviors not being a good mix with a future as a nurse.

You're making this about you and maybe it's more about us not having what you want or need. Ask a question that people have answers to and you'll probably get a truckload of responses.