Did I do the right thing?

Keysnurse2008 · Jul 8, 2009

you need to keep these 3 things in mind ( the 3 c's of alanon)
1, you did not cause this
2, you cannot cure him
3, you cannot control what he thinks , does, says...
i admire your desire to be involved, but in all honesty,for someone who is not an addict to try to understand the though processes and the behaviors that an addict uses is very difficult to grasp and instead you should look more into alanon and how they deal with addicts.

right now...i think...he just needs to concentrate on him. so...i am just going to leave him be for awhile. let him sort stuff out and in a few months or weeks....try to see whats up. i mean..until everybody sees what he is going to do....we cant help. whats that old saying? god helps those who help themselves...so hopefully he will see this as a way to a better life.

Keysnurse2008 · Jul 8, 2009

i am kind of late to this, but being just plain stressed out or burned out can cause some of those symptoms. i use the bathroom frequently because i have an overactive bladder. but as i have always said, "drug test me anytime, i don't care, no way am i going to risk my license for drugs."

hmm...i dont understand. what do you mean? being stressed out can cause you to become an alcoholic or addicted to drugs? i mean.....i guess stress may play a part....but i am not sure what you mean. from what i have read their is a big physiological component that kinda gets activated if you are predispositioned for addiction. i dont understand what u mean......just bc people go to the bathroom alot...nobody thinks there on drugs.....hell id think they had a uti before id think they had a problem with drugs or etoh.

jackstem · Jul 9, 2009

Check this out:

http://www.nicd.us/thediseaseconcept.html

One of NUMEROUS articles on variety of topics dealing with addiction from the National Institute on Drug Abuse.

http://www.nicd.us/ALCOHOLISMandADDICTIONSandHELPatNATIONALINSTITUTEONCHEMICALDEPENDENCYatNICD.html

jackstem · Jul 9, 2009

right now...i think...he just needs to concentrate on him. so...i am just going to leave him be for awhile. let him sort stuff out and in a few months or weeks....try to see whats up. i mean..until everybody sees what he is going to do....we cant help. whats that old saying? god helps those who help themselves...so hopefully he will see this as a way to a better life.

keys...you're right to let him concentrate on him. but instead of just "going away", learn what you can about how this is affecting you. based on your questions, comments, confusion, anger, "hurt" over comments, etc., you have been deeply affected by all of this. i urge you to consider talking with a counselor to learn why you are having these strong feelings. something is going on. by focusing on your friend and his disease, you're avoiding the more important issue(s), your issues.

the above paragraph may have caused an emotional, visceral response (and then again, maybe not). more confusion mixed with anger would be expected. if this is so, things need to be looked into if you want to become more capable of dealing with your friend's disease as well as the patients you will face with the disease of addiction.

as for god helping those who help themselves? this is a disease in which the patient is incapable of "helping themselves", especially in the early stages. god provides us with each other for that help.

jack

jackstem · Jul 9, 2009

hmm...i dont understand. what do you mean? being stressed out can cause you to become an alcoholic or addicted to drugs? i mean.....i guess stress may play a part....but i am not sure what you mean. from what i have read their is a big physiological component that kinda gets activated if you are predispositioned for addiction. i dont understand what u mean......just bc people go to the bathroom alot...nobody thinks there on drugs.....hell id think they had a uti before id think they had a problem with drugs or etoh.

yes, just because people go to the bathroom a lot, people do think they are on drugs. a sign of substance abuse/addiction in a health care professional is frequent trips to the bathroom. that's where i did most of "dosing", both at home and everywhere else. the fact that you would think uti before addiction means you lack the knowledge base to conduct an in-depth assessment and differential nursing diagnosis of a patient's presenting symptoms that might make an accurate diagnosis of the cause in a patient who presents with trauma, domestic violence, and any other number of signs associated with substance abuse and addiction. that's not a criticism, it's an honest observation. it also is a good example of what happens in the addict. just as you aren't aware of your lack of knowledge about specific signs and symptoms of the disease (because like most other nurses, you haven't received appropriate or adequate training about the disease), the addict isn't aware of their inability to recognize their addiction. the difference between a non-addict and an addict in this regard? the non-addict is capable of learning what they don't know...while the addict is actively using and for the first several months of abstinence in early (mostly "forced" recovery) their brain isn't capable of learning from their negative consequences or retain the information about their disease...because of the brain chemistry and structure alterations. and when do we conduct most of the treatment for addicts? in the early stages when they have difficulty learning. and then we're surprised when they relapse? of course we are, because we lack education about the disease. that lack of education can be excused in the non-health care professional. it is inexcusable in the professional.

granted, if the schools aren't training their students (and they're not...medical, nursing, or any other discipline), they do have an "excuse". but once they leave school, the responsibility is now the individual clinician's. what do most nurses do when it comes to ceus? they pick the cheapest method of obtaining the bare minimum number of ceus, choosing topics they love and ignoring the topics they don't care for or think they don't need. (i don't work in addiction treatment...why do i need to know this stuff?) because almost a third of hospitalized patients are admitted as a result of substance abuse or addiction (pancreatitis, cirrhosis, heart diseases, gi diseases, infections, etc. can all be a result of sa or cd). over 50% of all er admissions at trauma centers are there as a result of sa and cd. so the "average" nurse will be dealing with addicts all the time. couple that with a 10 - 15% addiction rate (depending on the study) in the general population, a 15 - 17% rate in nurses, and a 15 - 20% rate in anesthesia providers, the "average nurse" will work with an impaired colleage more than once in their career.

and, the disease of addiction doesn't just adversely affect the addict. if affects family, friends, neighbors, colleagues, and communities. but most of those dealing with significant repercussions in their own life as a result of someone else's addiction don't recognize it in themselves. it comes out in other ways...usually in physical illnesses as a result of unrelieved stress (irritable bowel, anxiety disorders, depression, ocd, control issues and controlling behaviors, insomnia, relationship dysfunction and failures, abusive relationships...over and over and over, to mention but a few. the non-addicts become addicted to the addict...to controlling or "helping/saving" the addict. many many health care providers...especially nurses enter the profession as a result of an unhealthy relationship with an addict...usually a parent or sibling. they are going to "help" society. i'm not saying that is every nurse or doctor. but it is a larger number than you would think.

once you learn as much about how this has affected you and learn healthy ways to deal with that...then you will be an effective nurse for your patients with the disease and your friend. by saying...he's the one with the problem, not me! you are repeating the mantra repeated by those most affected by the addict (friend, family or colleague). it's what my first wife said more than once when i went through treatment. it's the reason she didn't participate in the family program. it almost cost our daughter her life, because her mother learned nothing from our experience with my addiction. it wasn't her problem! she wasn't sick! so when kim's disease became active, her mother made all the same mistakes with kim as she did with me. she's an intelligent nurse who started a couple of successful companies and sold them for serious money. but she still doesn't "get it". thank god kim's step-dad knew he didn't get it and recognized kim's mom didn't get it either. it's what saved kim's life! i'll always bee grateful to him.

use this time while your friend is in treatment to discover what's going on in you...or not. but if you don't, you'll never be able to wrap your brain around this...and your patients (and any other addicts in your life) will suffer for that. you're not bad...stupid...or a moron. if that's what you get out of all of this.....wow! i'm willing to go to the may with you (or anyone else). but if it becomes clear that you're not really following the suggestions you're getting. that's when i call it quits. we're not even close to that right now.

the ball is in your court.

jack

sissiesmama, ASN, RN · Jul 9, 2009

Keys - Hello - It's late, and I just wanted to say that I am glad you are there for your friend through all this. I got caught for diversion back in August of 1999. I had gone through a very nasty divorce, and since I had started using on a daily basis, I had alienated so many of my friends and family. I figured that of the ones that knew me well, it wouldn't take long for one of them to realize what I was doing. After I got caught, it was almost like they (esp. fellow nurses) thought it was like I had the plague or something and they would be looked at too, kind of guilt by association.

I had very few friends who stuck by me, I so much hated to tell my dad, that I asked my mom to call him and tell him after we had crossed the line into another parish while on my way to rehab. I was always a daddy's girl, and that was the phone call I never made myself place before I went in.

I am glad you are there for your friend. With everything going on, he may not be in a very good "place" right now. He will be angry, whether it is anger towards himself, to you, to any body. Lord knows I was - and I knew I didn't have the right to be angry to others, it's not like I was set up, anything like that. I was just stupid.

You have given him something he will appreciate, either now or later in recovery - your friendship. Even if he isn't in the plaace to apppreciate it right now, he will.

As an addict, thanks for being there for him. Some friends just don't a lot of times, it is hard living with "us". Like I said, there weren't many there for me then and I hated it going inro rehab with no support systems. He will meet other addicts while in treatment, but I appreciated having one stand by me then.

Anne, RNC

Keysnurse2008 · Jul 10, 2009

keys - hello - it's late, and i just wanted to say that i am glad you are there for your friend through all this. i got caught for diversion back in august of 1999. i had gone through a very nasty divorce, and since i had started using on a daily basis, i had alienated so many of my friends and family. i figured that of the ones that knew me well, it wouldn't take long for one of them to realize what i was doing. after i got caught, it was almost like they (esp. fellow nurses) thought it was like i had the plague or something and they would be looked at too, kind of guilt by association.
i had very few friends who stuck by me, i so much hated to tell my dad, that i asked my mom to call him and tell him after we had crossed the line into another parish while on my way to rehab. i was always a daddy's girl, and that was the phone call i never made myself place before i went in.
i am glad you are there for your friend. with everything going on, he may not be in a very good "place" right now. he will be angry, whether it is anger towards himself, to you, to any body. lord knows i was - and i knew i didn't have the right to be angry to others, it's not like i was set up, anything like that. i was just stupid.
you have given him something he will appreciate, either now or later in recovery - your friendship. even if he isn't in the plaace to apppreciate it right now, he will.
as an addict, thanks for being there for him. some friends just don't a lot of times, it is hard living with "us". like i said, there weren't many there for me then and i hated it going inro rehab with no support systems. he will meet other addicts while in treatment, but i appreciated having one stand by me then.
anne, rnc

i am pretty niave when it comes to this stuff.....i admit it. jack said he thought that i should perhaps see a counselor to see why it bothers me. i dont think i really have to do that. a counselor might tell me i have trust issues bc when i was a child my dad said he was going to take me fishin and then he didnt. but.....that isnt it. in the er....and the pods( critical care) ....we all are very close.....like a family. we trust each other . and ....we all .....i have 10 coworkers reading this everyday with me and some tidbits ...are from me and some are from my coworkers. but....we all feel guilty. we are like a second family....and we didnt notice that things had gotten this bad.....we all didnt notice a problem. so...we all feel a huge amount of guilt...bc he is calling all of us several times a day....and we understand how out of control and upside down his life is. but...for me.....i am distancing myself somewhat till he is further along in the program....and calmer. i have a busy busy life, just found out my mom has cancer ( monday)...my son got in a wreck over the weekend and is in pt rehab...my bettter half wants the living room painted and the garage...my daughter is moving back home ....and my coworkers.....are not working. they are busy breathing down my neck reading this thread over my shoulder. go back to work now!!!!!!!!

now......this thread....has helped alot of us here. i have 10 coworkers standing here reading this with me everyday. some comments are from them...some from me. but we all feel the same. he is part of our dysfunctional second family here. .....and we all feel guilty to varying degrees...that we didnt notice...that there was a problem...tilll....it almost cost him his license. that.....is where all this is coming from....in all of our comments. we are all very tight nit.....we know everything about all of each others lives....and we trust each other. he lied to us......but we let him down. we didnt recognize there was a major issue...till it slapped us in the face. and the bathroom deal......i have 10 people reading this thread......and nine out of 1o of us said if we saw a coworker making multiple trips to the bathroom we'd think uti, renal calculi...etc...not drugs. only one said they'd think drugs....and jack....i am sending her for a drug screen now. lol. but....we all.....feel like we let him down. he will still have all 10 of us there for him....some more so than others depending on whats going on in our own lives...and we all plan on going to one of the alanon meetings at the end of teh month. our unit secretary is looking for one of the ones listed as "open " for us. but.....speaking for me....and my unit of cohorts that have posted here under my name.....thank you for sharing your insights, your knowledge and your links...and your own personal stories. it helped. what is behind our posts....jack.....is good old fashioned guilt. we are a dysfunctional functional family here at work. quirky personalities,...19 degrees between all 10 of us.....and we didnt even notice there was a problem till it slapped us in the face and he almost lost his license.

sissiesmama, ASN, RN · Jul 10, 2009

Hello - I am so sorry to hear about your mother's illness and your son. They will be in my thoughts and prayers as will you.

Anne, RNC

jackstem · Jul 13, 2009

i am pretty niave when it comes to this stuff.....i admit it. jack said he thought that i should perhaps see a counselor to see why it bothers me. i dont think i really have to do that. a counselor might tell me i have trust issues bc when i was a child my dad said he was going to take me fishin and then he didnt. but.....that isnt it. in the er....and the pods( critical care) ....we all are very close.....like a family. we trust each other . and ....we all .....i have 10 coworkers reading this everyday with me and some tidbits ...are from me and some are from my coworkers. but....we all feel guilty. we are like a second family....and we didnt notice that things had gotten this bad.....we all didnt notice a problem. so...we all feel a huge amount of guilt...bc he is calling all of us several times a day....and we understand how out of control and upside down his life is. but...for me.....i am distancing myself somewhat till he is further along in the program....and calmer. i have a busy busy life, just found out my mom has cancer ( monday)...my son got in a wreck over the weekend and is in pt rehab...my bettter half wants the living room painted and the garage...my daughter is moving back home ....and my coworkers.....are not working. they are busy breathing down my neck reading this thread over my shoulder. go back to work now!!!!!!!!
now......this thread....has helped alot of us here. i have 10 coworkers standing here reading this with me everyday. some comments are from them...some from me. but we all feel the same. he is part of our dysfunctional second family here. .....and we all feel guilty to varying degrees...that we didnt notice...that there was a problem...tilll....it almost cost him his license. that.....is where all this is coming from....in all of our comments. we are all very tight nit.....we know everything about all of each others lives....and we trust each other. he lied to us......but we let him down. we didnt recognize there was a major issue...till it slapped us in the face. and the bathroom deal......i have 10 people reading this thread......and nine out of 1o of us said if we saw a coworker making multiple trips to the bathroom we'd think uti, renal calculi...etc...not drugs. only one said they'd think drugs....and jack....i am sending her for a drug screen now. lol. but....we all.....feel like we let him down. he will still have all 10 of us there for him....some more so than others depending on whats going on in our own lives...and we all plan on going to one of the alanon meetings at the end of teh month. our unit secretary is looking for one of the ones listed as "open " for us. but.....speaking for me....and my unit of cohorts that have posted here under my name.....thank you for sharing your insights, your knowledge and your links...and your own personal stories. it helped. what is behind our posts....jack.....is good old fashioned guilt. we are a dysfunctional functional family here at work. quirky personalities,...19 degrees between all 10 of us.....and we didnt even notice there was a problem till it slapped us in the face and he almost lost his license.

keys (and friends! welcome all!),

first, knowing the questions came from more than one person sheds a little more light on the variety of questions.

second, degrees mean very little when it comes to this disease (and many others). when i was in treatment, the best counselor there was an older black man with a certificate in chemical dependency counseling (back in the day as they say). he was a recovering heroin/cocaine "street" addict (his description, not mine). the reason i push attending the open meetings of aa, na, and al anon is to get you out of the textbooks (typically written by academicians, not those who have lived it) and in with those who have experienced this disease, both as the addict and as the person(s) who live or work with the addict. believe me when i say there is much more going on (for everyone) than "simple" guilt. guilt is a complex emotion that is rarely based on one incident or issue.

guilt and shame are 2 separate emotions. a quick look at the difference between the 2 helps us see which we are feeling.

guilt is a healthy emotion that let's us know when we have done something "wrong", prompting us to seek forgiveness and to repair the relationship through discussion and clarification. this leads to stronger relationships with those we care about.

here's an important point that may help decrease the amount of guilt all of you are experiencing. if you lack the knowledge that would have helped you (and your colleagues) to recognize the signs of the disease in another health care provider (such as frequent bathroom breaks, or volunteering for increasing amounts of overtime, offering to provide frequent breaks, offering to pass meds, declining handwriting and poor charting, see a more complete list here), then guilt isn't necessary (but it's a natural response). being guilty about something you don't know is part of shame (which i'll discuss in a moment).

now, if you want relieve the guilt in a healthy fashion...learn as much as you possibly can about this disease and it's increasing prevalence in the profession. not just from books, but from actually talking to recovering addicts and their families. learn how to advocate for change in the profession so we recognize it sooner, intervene early and effectively, and change treatment to evidence based protocols. there is no better way to say "i'm sorry" to your friend than to be prepared to prevent it from happening again in him, yourself, or other nurses. just as we can't prevent type ii diabetes in everyone, we can't prevent addiction in everyone either. but that doesn't mean we don't keep trying, we don't keep searching for a better understanding of the disease and find better protocols (based on science, not beliefs and myths) to prevent and treat the disease when it does happen.

shame, on the other hand, is an unhealthy emotion in which we believe we are the problem. we screwed up because we are defective and don't deserve forgiveness. we should have known better (how?), we should have recognized it sooner (how?). we should have done something? (what?) without specific knowledge and training, how would any of those things happen? but shame will drive that guilt...no matter how many degrees we possess...if we believe we are somehow defective. nurses are excellent at being guilty (i know, i was in the profession a long time...started in er and ended in anesthesia). in fact, it's been said more than once, "nurses are professional codependents." again, you can't say that about everyone. but you posted the word "guilt" 4 times in this post alone. codependents are extremely good at feeling guilty for all sorts of things they couldn't have known or did or didn't do. the only folks i know with an equally overdeveloped sense of guilt are catholics (and i'm a "recovering catholic" myself! lol! that's not a "dis" on catholics...so please don't take it that way, or i'll have to kick some butt. political correctness was invented by codependents! like addicts, codependents have an overly sensitive emotional system when it comes to the addict). you have nothing to feel guilty about regarding your friend and colleague. but from here on out, if you do nothing to change this lack of knowledge in yourself and your "dysfunctional" family at work, then you have plenty to feel guilty about.

as i said, it's extremely difficult to recognize signs and symptoms of a disease that you receive little (if any) training about. the persistent myths (by health care providers and the general public) regarding this disease are proof of the lack of education. stigma results from the lack of education regarding this disease (and many others). addiction is one of those diseases where not being a person with the disease makes empathy extremely difficult. while i can successfully treat someone with heart disease, cancer, or diabetes without having suffered with the disease (i.e., as a purely scientific geek), it's very, very difficult to pick up on the nuances of thoughts and behaviors resulting from addictive disease if you haven't experienced it first hand. combine lack of education about the actual disease of addiction (as opposed to the many consequences of the disease like cirrhosis, esophageal varices, domestic and other violence, trauma, etc.) with lack of experience, and it's no wonder there are all sorts of misconceptions. the problems is, these misconceptions cost people their lives.

your description of the unit as a dysfunctional family is right on. and as a result of varying degrees of dysfunction, different people will react differently. you stated, "he lied to us". yes, he did. it's part of the disease. but because you haven't learned about the disease process, including the areas of the brain affected, you're going to continue have a hard time "wrapping your head around all of this." areas of the brain include memory, learning, motivation, and the areas associated with impulse control. this means they don't learn from their negative consequences (they can't learn during active disease), they don't remember incidents and conversations when under the influence, they don't want to do the things they used to enjoy, and they can't control obsessive thoughts about their drug(s), or stop the complsive use of the drug once they get going.

you said you let him down because you didn't recognize the signs and symptoms. go to the list of signs at this link and see how many you don't know. how can you diagnose appendicitis if you don't know the signs and symptoms? as er nurses, we have (i had) the responsibility of understanding and recognizing those diseases and disorders i am going to see in those entering my department. some stats on alcohol and er admissions:

every day, over 20,000 people enter emergency departments in the united states for alcohol related injuries and illness - an estimated 7.6 million annually.
7% of injured adult patients are intoxicated when they present to the emergency department, another 20% will screen positive for alcohol use or abuse. these individuals represent the 18 million adults each year who have alcohol disorders. (source: emergency nurses association. emergency nurses position statement (2004). approved by the ena board of directors july 2004. statistical citations available at: www.ena.org/about/position/alcoholscreening.asp. retrieved 1/10/2005).
er patients with unmet treatment needs (alcohol or other drugs) are 81% more likely to be admitted during their emergency visit, and 46% more likely to have reported making at least one emergency department visit in the previous 12 months.
tennessee patients with unmet treatment needs who received emergency medical services accounted for $777.2 million in extra hospital charges for the state in 2000, which translates to an additional $1,568 for each emergency patient with an addiction problem that wasn't addressed. (extrapolate those numbers to todays costs for all er's in the country!).

nurses are in great company. primary care physicians miss or misdiagnose alcohol-abusing patients by these amazing numbers:

94% of primary care physicians fail to diagnose substance abuse when presented with early symptoms of alcohol abuse in an adult patient.
41% of pediatricians fail to diagnose illegal drug abuse when presented with a classic description of a drug-abusing teenage patient.
only a small percentage of physicians consider themselves "very prepared" to diagnose alcoholism (19.9%), illegal drug use (16.9%), and prescription drug abuse (30.2%). in sharp contrast, 82.8% feel "very prepared" to identify hypertension; 82.3%, diabetes; 44.1%, depression.
most patients (53.7%) say their primary care physician did nothing about their addiction: 43% say the physician never diagnosed it, and 10.7% say the physician knew about it, but did nothing about it. less than a third of primary care physicians (32.1%) carefully screen for substance abuse.
nearly 75% of patients say their primary care physician was not involved in their decision to seek treatment.
29.5% of patients said their physicians knew about their addiction and prescribed psychoactive drugs such as sedatives or valium, which could cause additional problems.
54.8% of patients feel physicians do not know how to detect addictions.
35.3% of patients thought their physician was too busy to detect their addiction.
the typical patient had a substance abuse problem for 10 years before receiving treatment.
57.7% of physicians say they don't discuss substance abuse with their patients because they believe their patients lie about it, and nearly 85% of patients agree. (lying is part of the disease!!! do they not discuss other potentially fatal diseases with patients for the same reason?)
35.1% of physicians cite time constraints, and 10.6% are concerned they won't be reimbursed for the time necessary to screen and treat a substance-abusing patient.

are alcohol and drug screening, brief interventions, and treatment referrals for patients performed in your er? if not, why not. (that's not an accusatory tone or meant to be threatening in any way. it's a legitimate and appropriate question). a major reason may be (depending on state insurance laws where you are) a clause in insurance laws that state if any treatment is provided to someone whose reason for being admitted is due to alcohol or drugs, the insurance provider may deny payment. so, if i'm a doc in the er, or a hospital administrator, and i know if i document anywhere in the chart this patient may be here as a result of substance abuse the bills won't get paid, why in the world would i chart something that tells the insurance provider?!? so, the bills get covered, and then the patient is discharged with a chronic, progressive, potentially fatal (for them and those around them) disease. is that ethical? no! is it professional? no! does it happen? everyday! if this was an accepted disease, this wouldn't happen. "but they did this to themselves!" yeah, so do lung cancer patients who smoke. so do adult onset diabetics who overeat, don't exercise, etc. we don't withhold payment when their disease needs treatment.

as an advocate for impaired nurses, part of what i do when a client hires me is provide educational programs for the unit where they work(ed). i provide sessions so colleagues can vent safely and learn about the disease and how they have been affected by the whole situation. the folks who say they haven't been affected are either in denial or lying. anyone who works with or has a relationship with an active addict are affected, it a matter of degree. i've had to participate in and lead one intervention on 5 colleagues in the past 19 years. believe me, i was affected! i was angry and hurt, just like you guys. but i had places to go and vent and deal with the emotions.

you all have been presented with an awesome opportunity to change the way things get done in your unit, your institution, and in your own practice. if you don't get everything out of this that you can, then you can feel guilty!!!!

actively recovering addicts have a highly developed 6th sense when it comes to others in recovery. they are capable of seeing through the fog of confusion associated with the disease as well as the smoke screen produced by the active addict. it's not to say they never get fooled, but it is definitely more difficult. they also

bring a significantly higher level of empathy to the mix since they've been there.

i think a major reason is addiction isn't accepted as a legitimate disease is the lack of knowledge about the disease by health care professionals. until that changes, our current paradigm regarding addiction will continue to be fed by myth, misbelief, and misinformation. our professional and cultural paradigm won't change and valuable friends, family members, and colleagues will continue to die needlessly.

i continue to look at the history of hiv/aids as a method for affecting change in a culture's paradigm of stigma associated with an illness. originally, it was considered a "haitian" disease, quickly becoming a "gay disease". until ryan white and other non-gay, "asexual" individuals, who were not addicts (meaning children and other people who were extremely unlikely to have been infected by their own activities) became infected, it was easy to

ignore those who contracted the disease, which were mostly gay men, prostitutes, and iv drug addicts (the 21st century's version of "lions and tigers and bears...oh my!). all of these folks were considered immoral and therefore ok to scorn and ignore. but once the "innocents" began to develop the disease (after being infected by some immoral beast such as a philandering or drug addicted spouse, or the evil and infected health care provider), our society has a moral imperative to "save the innocents"!

if there is some way to engender that same sense of "save the innocents" for this disease, i have no doubt there will be a significant paradigm shift in the medical community and society.

jack

sissiesmama, ASN, RN · Jul 14, 2009

Keys - Hey!! Just wanted to check on you and see how you were doing. Just please take care of yourself during this difficult time. We are here for you.

Anne, RNC :redbeathe

sissiesmama, ASN, RN · Jul 14, 2009

Jack - As an addict with, thank you God, 10 years clean as of August 16th, and my dh who is also an RN celebrates his 10th sobriety bday on July 16th, THANK you so very much for all the wisdom you give us every day. I appreciate it when I log on and get to absorb some of your kindness. You are such a blessing to all of us addict and I just wanted to say thank you!!!!!

Anne, RNC :tku::tku:

jackstem · Jul 21, 2009

Jack - As an addict with, thank you God, 10 years clean as of August 16th, and my dh who is also an RN celebrates his 10th sobriety bday on July 16th, THANK you so very much for all the wisdom you give us every day. I appreciate it when I log on and get to absorb some of your kindness. You are such a blessing to all of us addict and I just wanted to say thank you!!!!!
Anne, RNC :tku::tku:

Thank you Anne...that means a great deal to me. I really felt lost when I started my journey of recovery. I lost my marriage, most of my posessions, the career that I loved (where else can you get paid to wear pajamas and pass gas?), and almost my life (twice). When I finally "got it", I made a promise that if I ever had the chance to be there for another addict...I would be. Here it is 19 years later and the attitudes and stigma that still exists among our own colleagues hasn't changed much at all. It's time to change that! I thank God He's given me the opportunity to do that.

Just paying things forward. Hey, if you haven't already done so, read the thread about marijuana. Definitely worth the time.

HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jack