Did anyone ever refuse a trip w/patient?

Specialties Private Duty

Published

Just need some advice. A coworker nurse of mine continually shows up on my day of work to help take the patient out on outings. She doesn't get paid, so family and patient are thrilled. For reference this patient cannot be taken out by one person any longer, needs at least two people. I did do a vacation with them eight years ago and things went ok but I don't want to go away again. Now she wants to do a loooong day trip, 3hr drive each way, to a Nascar race. I do not think this is appropriate for him nor do I want to be working 24 hrs straight. They say since I am scheduled I have to go where he (really her) wants. Anybody have any experience dealing with a bossy, overstepping nurse? I hate to leave this case.

2 minutes ago, Crystal-Wings said:

I'm going through that right now on my current case. I'm not even allowed in the exam room. Parents always claim "there isn't enough room".

Ha, ha, ha! One of my last clients used to say there wasn't enough room. I have never been to an appointment anywhere with any patient, where there truly wasn't enough room. If that were the case, I could have stepped out of the "crowded" room after interacting with the provider. However, the clients always insure the nurse is never allowed to interact with the provider.

1 Votes
Specializes in LTC.
On 1/22/2019 at 2:43 PM, caliotter3 said:

Ha, ha, ha! One of my last clients used to say there wasn't enough room. I have never been to an appointment anywhere with any patient, where there truly wasn't enough room. If that were the case, I could have stepped out of the "crowded" room after interacting with the provider. However, the clients always insure the nurse is never allowed to interact with the provider.

I wonder why that is. Are they scared we'll tell the doctor something they don't want to hear? A lot of times I feel like they just view us as a babysitter or "the help". I mean, if it was my kid I would want the person taking care of them to know and understand as much they could about what was going on with the patient and have the doctor be able to answer any questions the nurse might have.

I practically have to beg for any new information after an appointment. They act like it's an inconvenience to tell me about what went on during the appointment.

2 Votes
Specializes in Pediatrics.
On 1/29/2019 at 12:43 PM, Crystal-Wings said:

A lot of times I feel like they just view us as a babysitter or "the help".

So much this. I cannot tell you how many parents have talked to me or treated me like a domestic servant. I now refuse to work with families who have cameras in every room. That is a serious invasion of my privacy.

2 Votes
Specializes in LTC.
On 2/2/2019 at 1:51 PM, ShadowNurse said:

So much this. I cannot tell you how many parents have talked to me or treated me like a domestic servant. I now refuse to work with families who have cameras in every room. That is a serious invasion of my privacy.

Oh man I know! And I hate to sound prejudiced, but I've only seemed to have this issue with families that weren't raised in a western country. It could be a cultural difference, but I honestly don't know. It's just what I personally have experienced over the years doing this job.

As for the cams, I don't really think it's so much of a privacy issue that I have with it (after all, its their house they can do what they wish. It would only be illegal if the cameras were in the bathroom), but a trust issue. If you don't/can't trust the nurses that come to your house, don't have nurses. Period. Nobody likes to be micromanaged.

2 Votes
Specializes in Primary Care, LTC, Private Duty.
On 1/29/2019 at 3:43 PM, Crystal-Wings said:

I wonder why that is. Are they scared we'll tell the doctor something they don't want to hear? A lot of times I feel like they just view us as a babysitter or "the help". I mean, if it was my kid I would want the person taking care of them to know and understand as much they could about what was going on with the patient and have the doctor be able to answer any questions the nurse might have.

I practically have to beg for any new information after an appointment. They act like it's an inconvenience to tell me about what went on during the appointment.

I "liked" your post because I *totally* understand what you've gone through. I also had one parent who would NOT let me call the MD when it was clear-as-day in the patient's chart that the MD was to be notified for such a drastic change in status. It was also in my professional nursing judgement to call, because I needed new orders or the patient needed to be shipped out to the hospital (or both, if the new orders didn't fix the decline in status). In the end, I called the MD, saved the patient, but was taken off the case...because the parent was unhappy that I called the MD rather than just letting the medically fragile pedi patient "tough it out" and complained to the agency. I mean, if they didn't want nurses treating their kid, why did they have nurses in to begin with?

3 Votes
Specializes in LTC.
On 2/10/2019 at 12:57 PM, River&MountainRN said:

I "liked" your post because I *totally* understand what you've gone through. I also had one parent who would NOT let me call the MD when it was clear-as-day in the patient's chart that the MD was to be notified for such a drastic change in status. It was also in my professional nursing judgement to call, because I needed new orders or the patient needed to be shipped out to the hospital (or both, if the new orders didn't fix the decline in status). In the end, I called the MD, saved the patient, but was taken off the case...because the parent was unhappy that I called the MD rather than just letting the medically fragile pedi patient "tough it out" and complained to the agency. I mean, if they didn't want nurses treating their kid, why did they have nurses in to begin with?

That is the million dollar question.

Anyway, you did the right thing AND protected your licence. The family I'm with now won't let me call the MD either. I was in a situation a few days ago where my patient had 4 seizures in less than an hour, and our orders state that if the patient has 3 seizures in an hour to give emergency med and call MD. Well, parents didn't want me to do either of those things and told me I can't give the med without asking them first. Even though the order specifically says the nurse can give it. No where does it say "ask parents first"...?

2 Votes
Specializes in Pediatrics.
On 2/10/2019 at 12:57 PM, River&MountainRN said:

I "liked" your post because I *totally* understand what you've gone through. I also had one parent who would NOT let me call the MD when it was clear-as-day in the patient's chart that the MD was to be notified for such a drastic change in status. It was also in my professional nursing judgement to call, because I needed new orders or the patient needed to be shipped out to the hospital (or both, if the new orders didn't fix the decline in status). In the end, I called the MD, saved the patient, but was taken off the case...because the parent was unhappy that I called the MD rather than just letting the medically fragile pedi patient "tough it out" and complained to the agency. I mean, if they didn't want nurses treating their kid, why did they have nurses in to begin with?

One of my worst days as a pediatric private duty nurse was making a formal complaint of abuse/neglect to my nursing supervisor about a family. My supervisor did the right thing and forwarded it to their case manager. The family already had social services visiting the home regularly, who were clearly not doing their jobs. The very next day, the mother cancelled me the whole weekend. Then the weekend after that. No mystery as to why. Some people should never be trusted with a houseplant, let alone children. I hated being forced out. I worry about those kids sometimes.

3 Votes
Specializes in LTC.
On 2/15/2019 at 4:54 PM, ShadowNurse said:

One of my worst days as a pediatric private duty nurse was making a formal complaint of abuse/neglect to my nursing supervisor about a family. My supervisor did the right thing and forwarded it to their case manager. The family already had social services visiting the home regularly, who were clearly not doing their jobs. The very next day, the mother cancelled me the whole weekend. Then the weekend after that. No mystery as to why. Some people should never be trusted with a houseplant, let alone children. I hated being forced out. I worry about those kids sometimes.

I hope that kid got removed from the home. There's no excuse for abuse/neglect.

How do you deal with micromanaging parents?

1 Votes
18 hours ago, Crystal-Wings said:

How do you deal with micromanaging parents?

Find another case - in my experience you will never do anything right, there will always be something to complain about, nothing will ever be good enough - besides who wants to work like that - the job can be stressful at times if the client has alot going on - who needs this additional problem/stressor on top of keeping the client alive?

1 Votes
Specializes in LTC.
On 2/20/2019 at 6:16 AM, AdobeRN said:

Find another case - in my experience you will never do anything right, there will always be something to complain about, nothing will ever be good enough - besides who wants to work like that - the job can be stressful at times if the client has alot going on - who needs this additional problem/stressor on top of keeping the client alive?

I just asked my agency for another case today. I've had it with the mom yelling at me and trying to blame me for things I didn't do. Like today she started yelling at me because I finally stood up to her and asked her calmly why something wasn't done for the patient and she started verbally abusing me. No, I don't know what it's like to have a sick child, but that doesn't give ANYONE the right to talk to their nurses the way that she has. She needs therapy!

2 Votes
Specializes in Pediatrics.
12 hours ago, Crystal-Wings said:

I just asked my agency for another case today. I've had it with the mom yelling at me and trying to blame me for things I didn't do. Like today she started yelling at me because I finally stood up to her and asked her calmly why something wasn't done for the patient and she started verbally abusing me. No, I don't know what it's like to have a sick child, but that doesn't give ANYONE the right to talk to their nurses the way that she has. She needs therapy!

I agree with the above poster. You did the right thing asking for a new case. I have had parents who desperately need their anxious little rituals and force me to do things that are ridiculous and unnecessary, like a mom who makes me give her daughter her medications 15 minutes apart in a certain order even though that will do nothing for her in the end. I can deal with that. But I've also had verbal abuse from clients in the past, and that's just not okay. I've had clients call up people in my personal life to try to dig up information, clients who have crossed major physical boundaries, the works. This is a tough job, and no two ways about it. Many people feel entitled by having a sick child, and entitled to treat nurses however they please because it's their home and their territory. But we are still people.

3 Votes
Specializes in LTC.
On 2/22/2019 at 2:59 AM, ShadowNurse said:

I agree with the above poster. You did the right thing asking for a new case. I have had parents who desperately need their anxious little rituals and force me to do things that are ridiculous and unnecessary, like a mom who makes me give her daughter her medications 15 minutes apart in a certain order even though that will do nothing for her in the end. I can deal with that. But I've also had verbal abuse from clients in the past, and that's just not okay. I've had clients call up people in my personal life to try to dig up information, clients who have crossed major physical boundaries, the works. This is a tough job, and no two ways about it. Many people feel entitled by having a sick child, and entitled to treat nurses however they please because it's their home and their territory. But we are still people.

Oh Lord I could go on and on about some of the things this mom has said to me, one of them being "you need to do things to make yourself stand out as a nurse!" when I told her making labels for the clothing closet wasn't part of my job. Or my favorite "the PM shift nurse doesn't have to organize the cabinet because he has 2 jobs!" I almost felt like saying "No, it's because he's a man and in your culture women are treated like second class citizens." She is one of the most entitled people I've EVER come across. She sits on her *** all day long and watches tv and her house is disgusting because she never cleans it (I have literally seen bugs crawling around it's that bad), doesn't work, can't be bothered to walk up the stairs to give me report because she's "busy" and then gets mad because i can't hear what she's saying yelling up the stairs, she doesn't bother to ever check her daughter's supplies because "that's the nurses job!". I could go on and on. She has ZERO respect for the female nurses that have worked there, and than she complains why nobody ever stays. To add insult to injury, she's told me I don't know what I'm talking about because I'm "only an LPN" lol.

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