Diapers. Ice. Excuses.

tex42cares · Jul 13, 2011

i have encountered this as a witness many times while being in the hospital er dept

ledzepfan · Jul 13, 2011

Unfortuntly,the public is being told to EXPECT this kind of "service" when they go

to the hospital, and some people will always think of a nurse as little more than

a waitress. :mad:

P B and J · Jul 13, 2011

It's not just in the ER. Many parents these days let their children run wild, not reprimanding them for anything. I don't know if they think they are little angels or what, but god forbid they actually get after them and make them behave, it might break that free spirit they are so (un) carefully fostering.

I can't remember the last time I even got to shop for groceries without seeing/hearing at least 1 child having a screaming fit in the aisles to get what they want! The parents' are too busy looking out for their own interests to even pay attention to their children, and why should they? Someone else will clean up the mess after they leave. You can see it anywhere you go these days!

tyvin, BSN, RN · Jul 13, 2011

I don't work in the ER but my experience with moms whose kids supposedly have ADD/ADHD is vast. For years since my sons started school this ADD/ADHD thing has balooned and gotten out of control.

Neither one of my boys had it but it was more convenient for the teacher to suggest every boy get medicated so they can sit in their seats and be good students. I wouldn't budge with my first and he outgrew the social butterfly syndrome. My second I took him to the recommended psych doc at the request of the teacher.

The doc asked my son a couple questions as my son quietly sat in his seat perfectly still and then the doc wrote me out a Rx for ritalin. After that I gave my son a vitamin every morning before he went to school just to see what would happen (I threw the Rx away!).

6 months later I was at the recess watching the kids play. The teacher came up to me with this huge smile on her face ... exclaiming how much better my son is now that he's medicated. She went on and on and I finally stopped her and told her I never gave him the Rx and that it was just her perception that had changed. I thought she was going to come unglued.

The next report card from her reflected how I embarrassed her by my son now showed increased symptoms of ADHD. Child is starting to act out again blah blah. Seriously, what has happened?

I can't imagine having to watch that at work. It's bad enough just going shopping in a local store and seeing the 3 year olds tearing the soda machine apart and the moms are right there! The last incident I said something to the kid and the mom jumped down my throat. I explained to her that I was an RN and it was my legal responsibility if I see potential harm to a child I must act. I told her next time I will just call 911 ... that ended that. It's like there's no concern.

I see these kids being ruined by what is a scam for the schools to get federal funding for every child they can get to be Dx with it. And many of the mothers are no better getting federal disability monthly payments due to the disability their child has. HOG WASH ... doesn't anyone care about the kids?

Yes I know that there are many kids who actually have ADD/ADHD and benefit from special ed but I will guarentee you that > 60% of the kids Dx via schools do not have it. And what about re-evaluations? None of those kids are being re-evaluated to see that they've grown out of the terrific two (which is usually the case). The schools are too busy collecting the money from the federal government whilst the feds act like knights in shining armor rescuing societies poor from the clenches of spreading disease.

I am the kind of mother who takes supplies with me just as the OP, I plan and act accordingly and expect my kids to as well. There is always a please and thank you, open the doors for the ladies and elderly, give your seat on the bus to an older person. Simple, simple, simple things.

It has become a nanny state of mind and people don't know or don't care how to get above it. Waaaaaay too many hand outs. The programs are fine but they are all ultimately abused. Fraud is the norm. Got a little off topic but it hit a nerve; great post OP.

caregiver1977 · Jul 14, 2011

Tyvin, you hit the nail on the head. I think the schools are doing a big disservice with this whole special education thing. I could go on and on about that.

If you were to follow some of these families home you would see that many of them don't have much for parents (I live RIGHT NEXT DOOR to that situation. It is HOT MESS HEADQUARTERS over there!). So what else is going to happen in public? I have never when I was in the ER or even when I was admitted to the hospital expected the hospital to feed my husband and many small children as well as my guest. I never even knew that happened until I started reading AN.

One time when I was at a certain state health department there was a woman there who had two children, girl and a boy, who looked to be around 6 or 7. They were tearing the place up. The mother had very little control over them, when she actually tried to do anything with her kids. Finally she ended up screaming at the health department staff that they were making her wait to long, and that was why her kids were out of control. If you know you have kids that may be out of control, you are supposed to prepare for that, especially when going to the health department (everyone knows they have notoriously long waits). What got me is that she blamed the health department staff for not having FOOD for her children!!!! She said that since they sign people up for WIC that they should have food at the office for situations like hers. OMG! SMH!

I can understand kids not being completely perfect in public. I have a teething child at this moment (who is trying to pull down my pants) who sometimes doesn't do well in public. You can usually tell what child is getting home training and what child isn't.

Common sense is dead. So is good parenting and respect.

caregiver1977 · Jul 14, 2011

Oh, and most of the time my kids and husband (the main ones who would visit me in the hospital) would either eat off my tray, eat snacks I had with me, or my husband would buy something. I would not expect the hospital to feed my husband and 5 kids unless it was an absolute EMERGENCY!

ErinBSN · Jul 14, 2011

Patient1977, I am the first to state my brood is NEVER always perfect, we're hitting the terrible 2's full speed ahead. but they try once or twice realize it doesn't fly and than they eventually quit.

About the ADHD, it is a mask. With my son, he had a difficult time paying attention(granted the Autism also had an issue) but we bent over backwards, I was actually subpoena'd by the state of Florida because I informed them my son was being treated but REFUSED to disclose confidential treatment regime. I also see the looks when we go out in public we are (my kids are 19, 12, 9 and the baby). I think it's a SAD day when people come up and compliment you on how WELL your children are acting in public. Toddlers/infants of course have no concept of how to behave but when your 4 year old is trying to dislodge the sharps container. that's an issue.

I guess I look at it this way, the ED is not kid friendly. Straight up. It's not. I have freaked seeing kids trying to play in biobag trash, crack the sharps, spinning on the stools, using the stools as battering rams. I have had holes put in walls from out of control children. This is sad when they are old enough to no better but allowed to destroy a hospital.

I will tell you, I still have a nice house (though it is littered with a bunch of cars and thomas trains) but my kids don't grind crackers into the floor, they don't dump juice out intentionally. These are just social skills that you need to survive.

I get frustrated by the waitress mentality. I go to work for the most part with the mentality "do unto others" it takes a lot some nights not to be an evil walking.. (fill in with your choice of words)

I'm also all for charity, and helping those less fortunate. However, when you see the "less fortunate" with the same issue consistantly after you have given resources to help and they chose NOT to get help. That's where it gets frustrating.

I look at it this way. We had a dental pain come back 1 week after being dc. He stated his pain was back. when asked if he went to the dentist he yelled at the doc, me and anyone else. He came to the ED we were supposed to fix him and he wanted a REFUND.

Um.. yeah..

Anna Flaxis, BSN, RN · Jul 14, 2011

It's not just you.

Another one I love is the patient who comes in at 5pm and expects to be fed because they "haven't eaten all day". You didn't come in here until 5pm, so you had all day to eat a meal or two. How did that become my problem all of a sudden?

I especially love it when they play the "I have to eat, I'm a diabetic" card. I ask them what time they took their insulin, and they say "I'm not on insulin", so then I ask what time they took their oral med, and they say "I'm not on any oral meds", so then I ask when they checked their blood sugar, and they say "I only check my blood sugar once a week". So, if you're not on any antihyperglycmic meds, exactly why do you need to eat right this second? Most likely, you're running high, not low, so it really wouldn't hurt to wait until you get home to eat.

ErinBSN · Jul 14, 2011

I have approached the "I'm diabetic, I need to eat now" pretty much like this. "When did you take your insulin/pills" oh your not on anything? Oh your diet controlled? When did you check your bs? Oh you only check it one time per week. Well lets see how bad it is, if it's too bad we'll just give you something to bring it up.

usually it's 180-260

Than I go your okay. I'll get you water or diet ginger ale but your running high, so carbs are contraindicated. Sorry

Anna Flaxis, BSN, RN · Jul 14, 2011

As much as it might give me just a *little* pleasure to poke them just for $#it$ s and giggles, I just don't have time to play the game. If they're not on any antihyperglycemics, the chances of them being low are nearly zero. I might have to borrow your "carbohydrates are contraindicated" line, though.

ErinBSN · Jul 14, 2011

Usually the docs back me up. They say if they are expressing the c/o hypoglycemia, we need to have a bs in the chart. and my charting is as follows:

pt c/o feeling "shakey" states has not evaluated home fsbs in >72 hrs. FSBS evaluated and result of 180. Reported to MD. pt informed not having hypoglycemic episode.

Oh yeah, I also pull the "narcotics are contraindicated in migraines"

My other is "I'm so sorry the physician is not prescribing antibiotics for your child, however excessive use of abx is linked to resistant infectiosn. I would rather NOT give your child abx today than to not be able to treat an infection in the future"

but my personal favorite (foot/ankle pain who can't ambulate to restroom but walked into the door) "I will not lift you, we are an ambulatory ED, that means you came in on your own. I will gladly provide a bedpan for your use. (if the patient refuses and states they want to go the restroom) I state I can also speak with the physician and see if they will authorize a cath for the duration of your visit"

If they came in unable to bear weight, I have no issue helping, if they have a fracture I have no issue, it's the foot pain x 3 years I have this issue with.

(I like to thank my previous time in banks for coming up with customer service talk)