Depressed and struggling to hold on

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Hey,

I am trying so hard to stay motivated and positive but it seems the more I try to get out of the hole. The worst it gets. I am halfway finished with pre-reqs and moving onto my science classes starting the summer semester and I am scared. I was doing very well Summer and fall 08 semesters, received an A in all classes but this semester I am barely passing my Algebra class, although I got an A in gen psy. I think I am losing my confidence that I can do this.

I feel very stressed, unmotivated and tired all the time. I suffer from mild depression and managed to get it under control for the past 2 years with vigorous diet and excercise but since Christmas of last year, I have been in a funk. I am not watching what I am eating (type 2 Diabetes) and barely walk anymore. My personal life is really getting to me and I feel like all I do is work full time and school part time. Since I am a little older I have to study extra hard to retain the information. I have finals next week and I honestly don't want to pick up a book, I almost don't care if I don't pass my math class. I am tired! My house is filthy, my yard needs mowing and I can't get off the couch.

I am a single mom raising my 16 year old daughter and our relationship is really rocky at this moment. I feel like she hates me, and honestly I don't like her much right now :crying2:. She doesn't help me with the house chores, very disrespectful and Always has an attitude. I can't say anything to her without her giving me a nasty remark back, unless she wants something. I am tired of arguing so I just try to avoid her as much as possible. It's only us in the house, why can't we get along, I feel so alone and I can't stop crying. :crying2:

I have been single for 10 years and I really miss the intimacy of a significant other and the support, financially and emotionally, but now I don't have time for anyone with my crazy schedule. I guess I tried to compensate by buying a dog, but she has been more trouble than I can handle. I got her as a guard dog to protect my home because I was starting to feel unsafe, but low and behold my house gets robbed anyway about 3 weeks ago. I mean ***!!!! She was in her crate in the garage, I was still house training her. Today I find out that my next door neighbor was arrested for breaking and entering a beauty salon at night, what a coincidence, he probably robbed my house. He was renting a home next to mine, I thought he was a little strange. :madface:

Anyway, sorry for the long post, but I have got to find a way to get motivated and get back to my diet and exercise routine. I know this will help me stay focused on my goal, and I have 3 weeks before summer semester to get off my rump. I really need to get this nursing degree and I don't want anything to distract me from my goal but damn it's hard! :crying2: I guess I just needed to vent

Thanks for reading

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Specializes in Pediatrics.

Hi I don't have any words of wisdom but just wanted to let you know you are heard... you are going through a lot of things right now and sounds like the stress level on them all is pretty high... hopefully some of them will lighten up soon. Like your dog will be more trained soon and easier to deal with, and also dogs love to walk/etc. and that may help you get back into walking/exercising again. I'm sorry, I know this is very simplistic and not very helpful but wanted to let you know I feel for ya. And teenage daughters are not easy at the best of times, I should know I was recently one of them.

*Hugs*

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Hi I don't have any words of wisdom but just wanted to let you know you are heard... you are going through a lot of things right now and sounds like the stress level on them all is pretty high... hopefully some of them will lighten up soon. Like your dog will be more trained soon and easier to deal with, and also dogs love to walk/etc. and that may help you get back into walking/exercising again. I'm sorry, I know this is very simplistic and not very helpful but wanted to let you know I feel for ya. And teenage daughters are not easy at the best of times, I should know I was recently one of them.

*Hugs*

Thanks for your response. I really don't expect anyone to have the magic words to help me feel better, I just needed to get it out. Some days are better than others. As for my dog "Jody" she is a good girl, she is finally house trained and I have taught her a few other tricks. She is only 6 months, so I can't expect her to be mellow, it's like she has a sugar rush all day. I try to take her out for walks, but my best intentions don't always manifest. Now if I could teach her not to bring dirt and tree branches in the house, she will be perfect!;)

Regarding my lovely daughter, I soooooo look forward to her graduating and off to college next year!

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I want to share a story with you...rholman... This is something I hope will help you and make you smile more. First find a stand-up Bill Cosby film...I mean the one where he talks about his wife and kids birth and them growing up. I truly hope you can locate one copy. In this show he talked about his brain damaged teenagers LOL and how when he would ask them why did you not do (whatever) their reply, I don't know. Welllll just after the show my daughter came home. The first thing I asked her was why she did not do her chores before she went out. Her face fell and she said, "I don't know" I looked at her for a split second and busted out laughing. I told her about the show and we laughed together. It truly was a changing point for me and her in her teen years. The things we used to butt heads over became a time of sharing laughter, things got done not necessarily quicker at times but definately with humor and a togetherness that we had lacked until then. It was a great stress reducer for both of us. Do not sweat the small stuff...she is going through a difficult time in her life and so are you. Good luck and do not worry about an A in Algerbra just pass the thing and move on. The must...you have to put laughter back into your life b/c it is truly the best medicine. Do NOT give up.

TuTonka

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Specializes in LTC, office,hospice inpatient.

Is is possible for you to get some counseling so you don't feel so alone in your struggle? . Nature seems to program mothers and daughters to have these relationship challenges at this time- my theory, for some time, has been that it is to make the coming separation easier. Maybe not much comfort but I have been through it and seen many friends in the same boat. Pick your battles, try to keep things in perspective- 10 years from now will this (whatever the issue )seem important ? Hang in there, this too will pass.

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Rholman feel free to PM me any time...I will help you all I can. Been there too.

TuTonka

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Thanks everyone,

I have an appointment with my counselor tomorrow evening, I can't wait to get there. I realize she is going thru a tough time right now and I am trying to change how I react to her but it's not easy. One of the things I have let go is arguing about her room being clean, I just close her door and try not to look.

I am really learning to pick my battles but even though I don't say anything to her I feel the tension building inside me and I feel like I want to explode. Sometimes I don't know what's worst holding it in or arguing?

Yesterday we had a good day at the hair salon, laughing and listening to music in the car. I wish I had more of those days. Generally she is a good girl, doing exceptionally well in school, taking college classes. She also plays varsity basketball so her schedule gets extremely hectic with games, practice, school and homework. I guess she feels frustrated with a full plate as well.

Regarding Bill Cosby, I remember see that skit he did on his teenages years ago, hillarious. I do need more laughter in my life. This week is finals and I will have a two week break before summer semester. I look forward to golfing and maybe going to the movies to see a few comedy flicks.

Thanks again, I feel so much better today than Saturday when I did my OP.

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Rholman feel free to PM me any time...I will help you all I can. Been there too.

TuTonka

Thank you, I just might take you up on the offer

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You are welcome. Sometimes when you become overwelmed with life you do not know where to turn especially with your children.. Have you two ever had a come to the table discussion? I am not saying a B#$$%%^ session but a share session where you tell her I am sorry I know with me schedule I haven't been there at times when you felt I should be but...... You might present this to your counselor and get his/her input on it. I know she must feel overwelmed at times also and if you as the parent open the door in a noncritical way she may open up to you too. It is just a thought but it has worked for me. Good luck and my offer stands simply because if nothing else you have qa chance to vent and someone on the outside of your arena may see something you have not thought of during overwelming times.

TuTonka

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You are welcome. Sometimes when you become overwelmed with life you do not know where to turn especially with your children.. Have you two ever had a come to the table discussion? I am not saying a B#$$%%^ session but a share session where you tell her I am sorry I know with me schedule I haven't been there at times when you felt I should be but...... You might present this to your counselor and get his/her input on it. I know she must feel overwelmed at times also and if you as the parent open the door in a noncritical way she may open up to you too. It is just a thought but it has worked for me. Good luck and my offer stands simply because if nothing else you have qa chance to vent and someone on the outside of your arena may see something you have not thought of during overwelming times.

TuTonka

We have had a few sessions, some were successful and others were not. They always start out good but turn for the worst. We went to counseling together one time and it turned into B#$$%%> session. I felt bad because that was not my intention but the anger and hurt got the best of me. Tomorrow we are scheduled to meet again with the counselor but I think I am going without her. I need to get control of my emotions and reactions before we try meeting with the counselor again. I truly love her and don't want to push her away anymore.

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Rholman: thats half the battle. One step at a time you WILL get through this and so will she. If you ever need a vent in private I have an ear. lol actually I have two :) Mother / daughter relationships are very hard when the daughter is a teen. Throw in what you are trying to accomplish and all H$%l breaks loose. Being a single parent intensifies it. If I may ask ... does she have a good relationship with her dad? Do not answer if this is yoo personal. But if she does , talk to him about helping out here. It may help.

TuTonka

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Rholman: thats half the battle. One step at a time you WILL get through this and so will she. If you ever need a vent in private I have an ear. lol actually I have two :) Mother / daughter relationships are very hard when the daughter is a teen. Throw in what you are trying to accomplish and all H$%l breaks loose. Being a single parent intensifies it. If I may ask ... does she have a good relationship with her dad? Do not answer if this is yoo personal. But if she does , talk to him about helping out here. It may help.

TuTonka

Morning,

My daughter has a good relationship with her dad, however, he resides in New York and I am in Florida. I am able to vent with him and he does call to speak with her but she gives him an attitude as well. Sometimes she gets madder at me when he calls because she feels I shouldn't share with him or anybody else about her unexceptable behavior. Apparently, we adults know nothing and the world revolves around her and were just on for the ride Whatever!

Honestly, when I think about it, she's an Angel compared to me when I was her age.

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