I'm Almost halfway done my 3rd year of my BSN. This year I've realized I don't know if I want to be a nurse. Up until this point I was very academic and loved classes/learning and obtained a 90% average.
This year we stared our first REAL clinical with assigned patients and full care (our program is pretty decelerated).
Long story short, I really don't think I like health care nor the responsibility of it and find myself much too forgetful to feel confident in any type of care. I was going to push through it as I only have 1.5 years left and try focusing on community/palliative nursing, but I don't know if I can. I've become very depressed, can barely finish my readings, can't sleep before clinical days, and dread school overall (which I never have until this point). I think my motivation has just dropped as I'm not passionate about it. Or maybe I'm just depressed and its manifesting in school? Its hard to tell. I really don't know what to do, I don't want to regret abandoning my BSN. But I'm wondering if this just isn't the career for me as I am so so depressed.
Please if you take anything from this post DO NOT QUIT the program. Oh my gosh do not quit. There is sooooooo much more out there than patient care for nurses. I have been in your shoes 100%, I have delt with depression off and on for the past 10 years. It can be hard cause it creeps up on you, especially when you have distractions... like school. They have online therapy and psychiatrist (for anti-depressantsand anti-anxiety meds) Try Doctor On Demand - Urgent Care Doctors & Mental Health . I swear it saved me, they accept most insurance and you can get an apt within like a day. I do therapy on there too, its been super nice especially with school schedules (most have saturday appointments). Maybe you aren't depressed, but talking it out with someone like a therapist/psychiatrist can help you get to the root of what is going on.
I have met girls that quit their BSN programs and they told me it was one of the biggest mistakes. When applying for any post grad school they said it was hard to get beyond that they dropped out of nursing school during interveiws(and we all know now a bachelors degree is the new asociates degree and to pay off your bachelors you might as well go back to school for a masters).
You are smart, obviously, look at how far you have came. You love the acedemic side of health sciences, for most that is the hardest part. You made the 1st step by making this post and reaching out. Feel free to message me if you want, but I would for sure NOT QUIT and talk to someone even if it's not a therapist.
I agree and just wanted to add that there are such things as "medical leave of absence" from school. My mood disorder was manifesting itself to the point where I was failing my nursing class. I went over my test with my professor (who was wonderful and had a husband with bipolar disorder) and she said I knew the answers but for some reason I answered with the wrong ones on the test. I used the health center, found a local dr and took a half of semester off.
I came back in the fall with my mental health back on track and finished with an alternative class for just another half of semester. I graduated with them on time. Don't give up. You do have options. Best of luck to you and keep us posted!
Everyone has already given great advice about getting help for your depression.
Please know that you do not have to do acute/direct patient care if you don't want to. Your BSN can enable you to go into public health or so many other things. If you have to, think of your clinicals as hoops you have to jump through to finish your degree that you are sooo close to finishing. Once your depression gets treated, you may think differently about patient care. If it still does not appeal to you, that is ok!
DextersDisciple, BSN, RN
330 Posts
I agree and just wanted to add that there are such things as "medical leave of absence" from school. My mood disorder was manifesting itself to the point where I was failing my nursing class. I went over my test with my professor (who was wonderful and had a husband with bipolar disorder) and she said I knew the answers but for some reason I answered with the wrong ones on the test. I used the health center, found a local dr and took a half of semester off.
I came back in the fall with my mental health back on track and finished with an alternative class for just another half of semester. I graduated with them on time. Don't give up. You do have options. Best of luck to you and keep us posted!