Debating Withdrawing From CRNA school

[SRNAco2024]

I know this is a very personal decision but I have no one (other than a therapist I might get) to talk to about this. My classmates don't want to hear it and I know my professors don't. I'm in my first semester of CRNA school (it hasn't even been 2 months yet) and I'm already wondering if I made the right choice. Every CRNA I know loves their job, everyone admits school sucks but "it's worth it in the end", etc etc. I can't figure out if I'm depressed because I'm unhappy with my choice or if I'm unhappy with my choice because I'm depressed.

This is the first semester so most people call it fluff classes. I find all of my professors to be very hands-off. It's just me, my books, and my syllabus (and internet but, really?) If there's general confusion about an assignment, we try to help each other because the professors love referring us back to the syllabus. My perception from my interactions with a few professors (asking a question) is that they are dismissive or downright rude! I worry this won't get better and I don't know if I can stand being abused/hazed for 3 years. I'm one of the older students in my cohort and I've noticed a lot of the other students seem to be afraid to even question the professors. For example, they know the professor made a mistake on a test question but would rather take the L than ask the professor about it. Are you kidding me?!

I chose CRNA because I was not interested in any other program. Was it my passion? No. I've worked in the OR for a few years so I know how that can be. I think healthcare is generally toxic and I think I may be ready to make an exit altogether.  I need to make a decision before I take on all this debt. This is hard for me because I don't typically not finish something I start but I have to value my mental health/happiness over trying to prove something. I guess I'm wondering if anyone that is further along in their program or already graduated can share some insight. It's a shame reviews on specific CRNA programs are not readily available. 

[loveanesthesia]

Many programs are now online the first 2 semesters, or even the first year. It’s harder to feel connected with that format, and hard to judge what the rest of the program will be like. Not all programs are like this, and for people looking at programs, something to consider. 
 

At this point you’re seriously thinking of leaving so you could look at it as ‘what have I got to loose’ by contacting faculty. Do you know who your advisor is? you should have one. That is a logical person to reach out too. 

[John2018]

If I were you, I would report what is happening to the head of the program. What you have mentioned in this post only gives me an idea that those professors are acting defensive and intimidating to avoid inquiries from their students about topics because they really don't know what the answer is, hence the wrong information passed down to you during your exam review. 

[Anesthesiotomy]

In my experience with my classmates, you likely want to be perfect/ get perfect scores etc. if you got into the programX you are a high performer. You beat so many applicants to get that spot. You worked your *** off. 
My program in the beginning sounded exactly like yours. It got a lot better once we knocked out most non-clinical stuff and got to the in person portion. My advice, don’t make a big deal about a few questions (who really cares at the end of the day if you missed out on a few points?) it’s all a drop in the bucket at the end of the day. If you want to do well, just work hard.

its easy to forget the reality that the schools face too when they lose a student. You’re about 100K of lost revenue for the program when you leave (don’t feel bad leaving if it’s not for you!)

But don’t for a second think at the end of the day what’s happening is personal or that they want you to fail. 
Im not in your exact situation, but I’ve been there, and I can say it’ll likely get better if you persist.

Either way, take care of yourself and your mental health. It’s the priority over everything else. 

[SRNAco2024]

Thank you, Anesthesiotomy. I'm going to wait to make my decision until classes are in person and/or when we're actually doing the clinical stuff. I am working on not taking the behaviors of others personally but my classmates being afraid to bring up something like the question with the wrong answer is more about being afraid to question a professor (which won't translate well in the future) versus being right all the time and getting 100%. Like you mentioned, this is a $100K experience. I should not be afraid to seek clarification. I guess only time will tell.