Dealing with the obnoxious co-worker help

Anna Flaxis, BSN, RN · Oct 21, 2012

I agree with you that the behavior you describe is inappropriate for the workplace, and if you have spoken with the individual yourself and he has not changed his behavior, then it needs to be addressed by the manager.

There could be a lot of reasons why the manager is reluctant to address this. Until you're in the manager's shoes and have all the pertinent information, there is no way to know what those reasons are.

However, I agree that part of being a manager is to handle workplace issues such as this, and this often requires uncomfortable conversations. On the surface, it would appear that your manager is avoiding having to have an uncomfortable interaction.

I think if you've discussed it with the coworker directly and have brought it to your manager's attention, all you can do in the short term is continue to call him out on it every time he makes an offensive comment, and in the long run, wait and see if anything comes of your complaint to the DON. It may or may not end up being effectively addressed, and then you'll have to make decisions from there.

But for now, give the DON time to handle it and keep speaking up (in a polite and respectful way, of course) every time your coworker says something offensive.

NurseFrustrated · Oct 21, 2012

I'm originally from the South and it is not ok for a person to use those derogatory words to describe people there either (just in case you were wondering). It is not normal and not acceptable work behavior. The problem is with this particular individual. Maybe it was ok in his family and among his friends to talk that way (which is not a good thing in itself), but he should have enough sense to contain his ignorant displays at work.

Since you have already informed management about this and have tried to talk to him about it personally to no avail, I'm not sure what else you can do about him. I don't know why your manager hasn't talked to him, but it's possible that he or she still may do so. Maybe they are looking into it.

I don't know if I would ignore his words. I agree with the other poster, just continue to politely call him out when he uses those offensive words and tell him that it's not nice, it's rude, and very offensive. I would be as nice as I could about it. Otherwise I would maybe try to avoid him whenever you can. Chart in a different area, don't eat lunch with him, etc.

Unfortunately there is always at least one bad apple in every work place that ruins it for everyone. I have some horrible co-workers that are seriously lacking in brain cells and common sense too, but in different ways. I work with one girl that talks so loudly, right in front of patients' rooms no less, about inappropriate things (such as her sex life) that I am literally embarrassed for our unit any time she is there. I have asked her multiple times to be quiet around patient areas and have told my manager about it but nothing is ever done either. I feel your pain. Good luck to you.

iluvivt, BSN, RN · Oct 23, 2012

Unacceptable on all counts! I am

certain you - have a code of conduct policy...find it..read it......and march yourself down to HR department. Bring a copy of any communication you have had with your manager ..response or no response. This requires some big guns b/c this person is creating a hostile work environment. You and your co-workers do have a right to work in an environment where your rights can be reasonably be expected to be upheld.

jt43 · Oct 23, 2012

I'm curious what your coworker's response was when you said his/her words hurt and upset you?

CrunchRN, ADN, RN · Oct 23, 2012

Not ok, and that is what I would tell him. I would ask him to refrain from saying that kind of *&^% around me.

morte, LPN, LVN · Oct 23, 2012

Maybe she needs her hearing checked? not making excuses, her behaviour is not appropriate anyway, but if she doesn't perceive how loud she is.....

I'm originally from the South and it is not ok for a person to use those derogatory words to describe people there either (just in case you were wondering). It is not normal and not acceptable work behavior. The problem is with this particular individual. Maybe it was ok in his family and among his friends to talk that way (which is not a good thing in itself), but he should have enough sense to contain his ignorant displays at work.
Since you have already informed management about this and have tried to talk to him about it personally to no avail, I'm not sure what else you can do about him. I don't know why your manager hasn't talked to him, but it's possible that he or she still may do so. Maybe they are looking into it.
I don't know if I would ignore his words. I agree with the other poster, just continue to politely call him out when he uses those offensive words and tell him that it's not nice, it's rude, and very offensive. I would be as nice as I could about it. Otherwise I would maybe try to avoid him whenever you can. Chart in a different area, don't eat lunch with him, etc.
Unfortunately there is always at least one bad apple in every work place that ruins it for everyone. I have some horrible co-workers that are seriously lacking in brain cells and common sense too, but in different ways. I work with one girl that talks so loudly, right in front of patients' rooms no less, about inappropriate things (such as her sex life) that I am literally embarrassed for our unit any time she is there. I have asked her multiple times to be quiet around patient areas and have told my manager about it but nothing is ever done either. I feel your pain. Good luck to you.