I am a new grad who has been orienting with a nurse who is quite moody. She gets upset with her co-workers, but doesn't say anything to them. Instead, she reacts by either being bossy with me, or by not talking at all, but by her mannerisms, it's easy to tell that she's upset. Her co-workers have given her a not-so-nice nickname, because of how she acts sometimes. One night while in one of her 'moods', I was looking through a chart, then I said to her, "I'm not quite sure where to find..." Her response was, "I'm not sure what you're looking for either, hon" and she just took the chart from me. Another night, after I was finished checking my MARs, I accidentally handed one to her that she had already checked, and she mumbled, "I already checked that one", and tossed it back to me. That night, I think she was irritated b/c another co-worker told her that she needed to stop sitting around at the desk. Also, she seemed irritated when she was asked to cover the desk for another charge nurse, so the charge nurse could go home. I heard her mentioning something about being taken advantage of. That night, I was so angry at the way in which she was speaking to me, that another nurse who witnessed things asked to speak to me in private. This nurse told me basically to bite my tongue, and that she was oriented by my preceptor, and basically got the same treatment. She said my preceptor wants to be right all the time (which I have noticed), and feels like she has to prove herself to her other co-workers (which I have also noticed), and that she is a grudge-holder. She told me that while I am still orienting, not to say anything, but once I am on my own, then I can start voicing how I feel. I didn't say anything, but initially my plan was to speak with my preceptor in the break room regarding how she acts with me, when she is upset with others. I am transferring shifts (not b/c of her), so I will not be working with her anymore, but if I encounter her behavior while I am orienting on the other shift, I would like to nip it in the bud. There are other things that I have dealt with while orienting with her, but they are too few to name, and this post is long enough as it is :-)What are your thoughts? Let behavior like hers go, or address it?
Is she like this all the time or just when PMS time swings around? Just wondering cause I can be a real grumperoo the last two weeks of my cycle. Gotta love those hormones!!
Is she like this all the time or just when PMS time swings around? Just wondering cause I can be a real grumperoo the last two weeks of my cycle. Gotta love those hormones!!
:chuckle A couple of weeks ago, she told me she was dealing with the PMS bug, but her behavior was fine then. She did tell me a few nights ago that she's got a long string of days off coming up and she thinks she just needs some time off. She said she hasn't had a vacation in a while. Honestly, she was a great preceptor, as far as teaching. She is probably the best nurse on that particular shift. She's a great nurse, and I know there's a reason my manager chose her--she wouldn't just arbitrarily pick anyone to precept. Someone on this site suggested that I thank her for precepting me. I did that just before my last shift with her ended, but I am going to tell her again the next time I see her. I really did learn a lot from her. It's just with being new and trying to get acclimated to things, it was kind of difficult to deal with some of the behavior, but it could have been MUCH worse (I've heard some of the new grad/preceptor stories).
I disagree with confronting this person. Why start trouble? Because that is what you have been warned would happen. As a new employee it will not look good for you either if trouble ensues from a confrontation. Try to find some appreciation within yourself for her time and knowledge in orienting you although it may not be of the greatest quality. Maybe it's hard to see it, but she is giving of herself to help you. It's hard to win over a curmudgeon. She's hurting herself more than anyone else in the long run and losing out on friendships she could be having with other employees that would make her work more enjoyable. Some people just enjoy wallowing in negativity and she sounds like one of them. I would make it a point to thank her for orienting you in front of the whole crowd of your co-workers on your last day working with her. I think it will make her day. I doubt she hears many positive comments from others.
Very well written post, something for all of us to think about.
I really did learn a lot from her. It's just with being new and trying to get acclimated to things, it was kind of difficult to deal with some of the behavior, but it could have been MUCH worse (I've heard some of the new grad/preceptor stories).
Take what is good and leave the rest behind. Great job!
Even when people are pissy and rude, amazingly... they have something to offer. Sometimes it is a personality conflict, sometimes it is a personal issue between your P an another employee. It's hard to crawl into the mind of another and make decisions. Thus... you did the best you could. You took what was positive and left the rest of the BS behind.
I've dealt with people like this before by stopping and looking at them concernedly when they snap at me, then saying "Are you having a bad day? Can I help??" Usually they soften up, sometimes it is good to confront them in a passive way like that. If they say "Why do you ask?" you can always say "You just seem a bit... I don't know... overwhelmed?"
i was going through the same thing..when i first started out... My way of getting through it was praying..It was to the point where i didnt want to go to work because of how rude the cna's and rn's were but it did get better. Now it's only one of them i'm still trying to deal with but i just try to work around her
boulergirl, CNA
428 Posts
Is she like this all the time or just when PMS time swings around? Just wondering cause I can be a real grumperoo the last two weeks of my cycle. Gotta love those hormones!!