Deaf Parent Concern

[kea6783]

I don't know if this topic necessary belongs in this area, but I don't post in General, I don't get any feedback.

My bf of 5 years is 75 percent deaf in both ears. Evidentally his loss is the reverse of the more common hearing loss. Basically, you can have a conversation face to face with him and not notice he's deaf. (though he does wear one hearing aid- he says two gives him too much feedback or extra sounds or something- and he mispronounces some words.. for example he'll say "nub" instead of "numb", "tylenon" instead of "tylenol" but all are very small rare mistakes)

Anyway, my concern is that later in his life he will lose more of his hearing. I believe his hearing has been stable since they caught the problem when he was seven. But I worry that he will lose more hearing later in life. He hasn't learned to sign because quite frankly he hasn't needed to. He has always been surrounded by nondeaf people, he's an only child and never had any speech problems once his hearing loss was diagnosed.

But I worry that if we marry and have children, which we plan to do, that one day he will lose more hearing and have to sign. I've been thinking about learning to sign after I get my degree and then when we have children, teaching them to sign from birth. That way we'll be "prepared" if his hearing does become significantly worse. Deaf people teach their children all the time, and I even taught the infants sign language at a day care in which I worked and they began using it at 6-9 months. I realize that when a child learns two languages, their initial language development is a little behind, but they quickly 'catch up' (usually by 4 or 5 years of age) and are better off for being bilingual. I wonder if this would be true for Sign Language, I'm assuming so..

So, I guess aftr that tedious story, do you all think it would be worthwhile to do that? Or do you think it would sort of be a waste of time considering my bf himself hasn't learned it and there is no evidence to show his hearing will decrease.

Ok, hit me with the wisdom!

[rn/writer, RN]

reading lips has been brought up, but i don't really think he does that. i only know a little about the deaf community and such, but i think his hearing is good enough that he doesn't depend on lips. just as long as you're not covering your mouth and facing him he can understand. i wish i knew the specifics of his hearing loss so i could explain better.

you might be surprised at just how much lip reading he is doing. even he himself might not be aware. your statement about not covering your mouth and facing him sounds a lot like what lip readers need. i have a slight hearing loss in the higher range where female conversation tends to be and occasionally it gets worse if i am battling allergies or some other kind of congestion. i found out how much i have learned to watch the speaker's lips when i couldn't wear my glasses one day and didn't "hear" as well. i don't read lips per se--that is, i can't turn the sound off the tv and know totally what's going on--but apparently i do use lip reading to supplement what i hear. i think this happens often with people who undergo a gradual transformation. the ability to read lips increases just as gradually and the person may not even be aware that they are developing this compensation.

re; baby sign language. way cool idea. very tiny kids in our family (under a year) have been able to tell their moms they were tired or hungry or needed a diaper change. sign died out when words took over but it was

adorable and useful while it lasted.

miranda

[llg, PhD, RN]

i found out how much i have learned to watch the speaker's lips when i couldn't wear my glasses one day and didn't "hear" as well. miranda

i realized how much i depended on speech reading one evening in a restaurant. when i removed my glasses to be able to read the menu better, i suddenly couldn't understand what people were saying. it was funny ... going back and forth, back and forth ... as i had the choice between reading and hearing. i have since gotten tri-focals so that i can read in my glasses.

it's called "speech reading" ... what we hard of hearing people do that combines a little lip reading with patial hearing.

there is also something called "cued speech," which is what some families of late-deafened adults do. it's a lot easier to learn than asl (american sign language) and can often be learned in just a few weeks. that makes it more acceptable to families and co-workers. different hand shapes are used by the speaker to cue the listener in on the sounds that are hardest to read on the lips. the easy-to-read sounds are not cued. as the person speaks he/she uses these hand cues to help the lip reader. so the deaf person reads the lips, but with a little visual help.

llg

[kea6783]

Thanks guys, I thought this thread died because I stopped getting updates, but thanks for all the info. You've really been a big help. Ultimately, I just want to be about to communicate as much as we can, however we can. There are other issues that I'm beginning to only see now, AFTER 4 YEARS, like his lack of confidence in careers because of the hearing loss, our lack of communication, etc.

Thanks for all your help, I'm always suprised at how much info I can get out of this forum!

[lady_jezebel]

Learning sign language is a great idea! Why not take a class together?

By the way, have you heard of the "Signing Time" videos? Our 9 month son watches & loves them. It's a great way to teach sign to kids.

http://www.signingtime.com/

[cre8tivRN]

Hello,

I started teaching myself sign language from 4th grade until 12th grade, and then took some private lessons in the community in the summer time at the local recreation place.

I taught myself by just buying the books, and going over and over it from the beginning. I also got from the library vhs tapes with little red riding hood, ect so that i could see the language in action. I practiced with my friends a lot too, and taught them.

My advice......if your s.o. is interested, and you dont want to commit to a class because of time, ect. go on ebay. look under sign language. there are tons of books, dictionaries, phrase books, videos to learn, even a video series to learn from. Plus there are kid video's too in sign. It makes it so easy to learn. And to be quite honest, it is a very easy language to understand. A lot of the signs look/act just like the object you are signing.

As far as kids go......I've got 2....a 2 1/2 yr. old, and one that is 15 months old. I started the kids early with sign language, just because i learned it, and the research shows that it is really benefecial. There isnt any "lag time" with language, in fact they learn to talk quicker, and understand a lot more than their counterparts. Plus, the comprehension of language, and just in general is far greater than not learning the language. The effects are seen well into grade school. It has to do with spacial skills, ect.

Personally, it's cute to see them use some signs together or with me.

I think you'll find as you learn and use it,....it becomes addictive.

Check out this website:signwithme.com

plus check out google.com for info and websites about baby signs or online sign language courses or dictionaries. The internet is chock full of stuff :)

Good luck!