Criticism from Preceptor

[Nursesuzi]

Hi all,

I work as a new grad in L & D and have been assigned two preceptors to share me.

One is great, seems to trust me, give constructive criticism and positive feedback.

The other is a micromanager and puts down everything I do from charting to how I spread the sheets when I turn a patient. I have never received any positive feedback from her. Often these comments are in front of patients and other nurses. She is also a highly negative individual who bad mouths almost everyone on the unit, especially other shifts. Her constant criticism and condesending behavior is plummeting my self confidence which is already shaky as a new grad 3 weeks into the job. At end of last shift with this preceptor, she told me (in front of two other RNs in the break room) that I had major issues with self confidence and it was/would affect patient's confidence in me. She is right, I do have low self confidence- but mainly just when I work with her! I do not have this problem with my other preceptor.

After she told me this, I acknowledged I heard what she said, but was speechless due to the irony of the situation. I could kick my self for not addressing how her behavior affects me. I need to establish boundaries with the woman so she can not walk all over me. Any advice on what to say to her with out screwing my self career wise?. I have gone to my manager and we agreed I need to address this myself with the preceptor to establish my boundaries.

Any feedback on what to say to this nurse is appreciated.

[Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN]

I would try and establish boundaries first, and then go back to the manager if it doesn't improve. ("Can you please inform me of anything that i'm doing correctly?") And don't do it in front of the pt.

The manager should realize that somoene that's being this way can drive away the good nurses.

(I can sympathize with you, one of my preceptors is, um, something else!)

[leslie :-D]

hi suzi,

i definitely agree about setting boundaries.

in a private meeting with the negative preceptor, you might try acknowledging your low self confidence and that "it would be very helpful if you would start showing more support rather than trying to have me feel like i'm going to fall on my face".;

" and furthermore, if you have anything to say with me, i would like to be addressed privately".

also suzi, it might not hurt if you let this preceptor know that you've already discussed it w/your mgr., and that it was her suggestion to talk it out.

that way, the preceptor knows that the boss is indirectly involved.

keep your chin up....i am so sure you're doing quite well.

best wishes.

leslie

[Nursesuzi]

thanks so much for your support, I've been sleepless on this issue since last Wednesday; Within a few hours of my post I've had two helpful responses, I love this website! Suzanne

:)

hi suzi,

i definitely agree about setting boundaries.

in a private meeting with the negative preceptor, you might try acknowledging your low self confidence and that "it would be very helpful if you would start showing more support rather than trying to have me feel like i'm going to fall on my face".;

" and furthermore, if you have anything to say with me, i would like to be addressed privately".

also suzi, it might not hurt if you let this preceptor know that you've already discussed it w/your mgr., and that it was her suggestion to talk it out.

that way, the preceptor knows that the boss is indirectly involved.

keep your chin up....i am so sure you're doing quite well.

best wishes.

leslie

[weetziebat]

Unfortunately, not everyone makes a good preceptor. I know several nurses who do it solely for the extra money. And although you are kicking yourself for not speaking up when the negative preceptor lit into you, I think it would have been worse for you to stoop to her level in speaking in front of others.

I'd meet with her privately and explain that you know that you have issues with low self confidence, which is perfectly normal for a new grad - and need her support and constructive comments, not criticism - especially in front of others! - to help you make the transition. I personally don't think any criticism is constructive. It is putting someone else down - when what they need is an explanation of how to do something better.

And I agree with Leslie that it won't hurt to let her know you've already spoken with your manager. Not to make her feel that you are complaining about her, but that you want to make this a positive learning experience and feel it is not that way now.

Good luck :)

[Surgical Hrt RN]

as a preceptor and a nurse clinician in the icu, i can say that this behavior is inappropriate and unacceptable. do you have a clinician in your unit? if so i would discuss this situation with her. not every personality clicks and not everyone is a preceptor. if you are not getting what you need from this person or if you feel intimidated you won't learn. contrary to what some people think, this time is not about them it is about you, the new nurse. you need to be nurtured and taught, supported and encouraged. no one knows everything or knew everything when they started. some nurses forget too quickly what it was like to be new. you should request to be placed solely with the preceptor that you are learning best from. now is the time for you to speak up. you need to learn all that you can while on orientation. trust me....the confidence will come.

[jnette, ASN, EMT-I]

as a preceptor and a nurse clinician in the icu, i can say that this behavior is inappropriate and unacceptable. do you have a clinician in your unit? if so i would discuss this situation with her. not every personality clicks and not everyone is a preceptor. if you are not getting what you need from this person or if you feel intimidated you won't learn. contrary to what some people think, this time is not about them it is about you, the new nurse. you need to be nurtured and taught, supported and encouraged. no one knows everything or knew everything when they started. some nurses forget too quickly what it was like to be new. you should request to be placed solely with the preceptor that you are learning best from. now is the time for you to speak up. you need to learn all that you can while on orientation. trust me....the confidence will come.

excellent. couldn't agree more.