Has a friend, acquaintance, or close family member ever insulted your plans to pursue nursing as a career when you fully expected this person to support your dreams? The purpose of this article is to discuss the crab mentality, also known as the crabs-in-a-barrel mindset.
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Anyone who lives in a city where fresh seafood is sold has probably observed that crabs are kept in open barrels. There is no need to keep a lid on the barrel because, as one crab approaches the top, the other crabs will latch onto it and pull it back to the bottom. Thus, all of the crabs meet the same fate.
If we place one single crab in the barrel, it will eventually reach the top, leverage itself out of the container, and find its way to freedom because nothing is holding it back. The lone crab usually escapes, but none ever get away if multiple crabs are in the barrel. Crab mentality is also a metaphor for the human response to self-improvement in others (Porteous, 2010). In other words, when someone is striving to get ahead, take a different path, or improve his/her situation, sometimes others latch on and attempt to hold the person back. These 'crabs' can be anyone in our lives, including longtime friends, neighbors, coworkers, acquaintances, and even close family members such as spouses or parents.
The mentality can be captured with the phrase, "If I cannot have it, neither will you."
Many students experience confusion and mental anguish when the people in their immediate environment do not support their goals. We expect backing from the people who are supposed to care about our futures, but instead we contend with their hurtful comments, mocking questions, and sometimes outright withdrawal of support.
"Nursing school is really hard."
"I don't think you can do it."
"Do you really want to be a butt-wiper for the rest of your life?"
"I will refuse to babysit your kids if you go to nursing school."
"I will not cosign for any student loans if you go through with this!"
Why do people engage in the crab mentality?
Some individuals adopt the crab mentality to thwart the efforts of somebody who desires to succeed in life, because our society is conditioned to believe that another person's success lessens the impact of their own achievements. These 'crabby' individuals often have underlying issues with insecurity, jealousy, or low self-esteem, which leads to their shortsighted attempts to hinder another person's upward mobility. Those who get most bent out of shape about the success of others typically struggle with inner questions about their competence and suffer feelings of inadequacy and low self-worth when others press on to their higher calling (Good, 2009).
If someone in your life has the crab mentality, there are actions you can take to keep your plans from being sabotaged. As a start, do not discuss issues related to school with these people. Sharing your dreams with one who has another agenda or may not have your best interest at heart can be disastrous (Good, 2009).
In addition, you might have to make the painful decision to minimize contact with these people. If we make the conscious choice to improve ourselves, we may also have to make choices about the people with whom we associate (Porteous, 2010).
Good luck to you, and keep climbing to the top of that barrel. Do not allow the naysayers to rent valuable space inside your head.
