Cover Letter and Resume critique please:) i think its pretty good but want some input

[jnf7882]

Dear Recruiter:

Please consider this my application for employment as a Registered Nurse at ******* Hospital in the ___________(insert department). I graduated from ________with an Associate's Degree in Nursing in April 2012. I am currently enrolled in __________s RN-BSN program, with an expected graduation date in May 2015. In addition, I also hold a Bachelors of Science degree from ___________ University in Interdisciplinary Health Services.

I feel that my education, clinical background and work experience have prepared me for a job as a registered nurse in your facility. Since I began my nursing career, I have had the opportunity to work as a Registered Nurse at __________ Hospital and ________ Hospital, both on a Cardiac Progressive Care Units. These experiences have significantly impacted my nursing career by helping me to develop many essential skills such as nursing assessment, critical thinking and time management. I would also feel privileged to be working for a nationally recognized hospital that holds such high regard for its nursing staff and patient care.

Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you regarding my application for this position. I strongly believe that work experience, education, values and beliefs would make me a valuable addition to your organization.

Sincerely,

____________, RN

References Available Upon Request

[labordude, BSN, RN]

Dear Recruiter:

Please consider this my application for employment as a Registered Nurse at ******* Hospital in the ___________(insert department). I graduated from ________with an Associate's Degree in Nursing in April 2012. I am currently enrolled in __________s RN-BSN program, with an expected graduation date in May 2015. In addition, I also hold a Bachelors of Science degree from ___________ University in Interdisciplinary Health Services.

I feel that my education, clinical background and work experience have prepared me for a job as a registered nurse in your facility. Since I began my nursing career, I have had the opportunity to work as a Registered Nurse at __________ Hospital and ________ Hospital, both on a Cardiac Progressive Care Units. These experiences have significantly impacted my nursing career by helping me to develop many essential skills such as nursing assessment, critical thinking and time management. I would also feel privileged to be working for a nationally recognized hospital that holds such high regard for its nursing staff and patient care.

Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you regarding my application for this position. I strongly believe that work experience, education, values and beliefs would make me a valuable addition to your organization.

Sincerely,

____________, RN

References Available Upon Request

Your cover letter reads almost identically to hundreds of others I've read and even a few I've sent out. There is nothing in those paragraphs that tells me anything unique or impressive about you and your career. You use the word experience several times, but you don't actually mention anything specific that stands out. What are your accomplishments? What have you actually done? Tell a short story about something awesome you did. Even better, tell me exactly what you can do FOR ME. If you don't have those stories, you likely aren't thinking hard enough. Think harder. If you still don't have those stories, why would a manager want to hire you?

Also, get rid of the "references available upon request." That is accepted as a given.

[psu_213, BSN, RN]

Also, look at the missions and values of the hospital. Include something specific about the mission/values and they influence you/how you will let them guide your care.