I don't know if this will make any sense but I will try to be as clear as possible.
I have posted numeous times in the past about my current job as an Administrative Assistant. I have been in this role for approx 20 years with various organizations, and the last 8 years working for a sales department. I worked for a beverage company for 6 years and tried to move into sales but was overlooked even though I exceeded in my role. Okay, so I moved on to a small baking company in the admin role, however expressed my career goals during the interview. They seem very receptive and I thought I would really have the opportuntity once I proved myself.
After 1 year with the new company I realized I jumped from the frying pan into the fire. It was the good ole boy club. I noticed no diversity, only 3 women among 100 sales positions, possibly 1% of minorities. Okay, I overlooked and tried not to get discouraged, well it's 3 years later and I would not be any closer to sales role than I was when I first stepped through the door, although I get exemplary job performance reviews. However, when I ask what can I do to get closer to my goal, they are very vague.
Okay, so last year I said I'm done, I can't do this admin thing anymore. I did a lot of soul searching and decided to pursue a Nursing degree, and started taking pre-reqs last summer. So I have coasting along, taking classes at night, doing my job during the day which have been difficult. I really am burned out and it's a daily task to keep myself motivated at work but I try to keep my eye on the prize.
Anyway, I had my yearly review yesterday and again, I got a great review, however, my manager say's "we love you, you do a great job for us but for 2009 we need you to take a more leadership role, take on projects, show more initiative" Once again very vague with no guidance. Last year when I suggested going out in the market with some of the front line delivery men, which would align with my career abjectives, my manager discouraged me from doing so, said he didn't see me doing it, didn't think I would be happy and how it would be hard for me as a single mother because I have to work very early hours. Whatever.... again that's when I said I'm done.
Anyway, back to yesterday.... after this brief conversation another of my male managers asked to take me to lunch to go over a few things. Great! maybe I could get some clarity.... Again... he reiterates, how they love me and I exceed my work performance, but they want me to step out of the box, blah, blah, blah... i asked " what do you have in mind, is there something specific you would like for me to take on? His reply is maybe you could take your CURRENT role to the next level, for example, since you pay the bills, maybe you can shop around for more competive pricing in regards to supplys and cleaning services. You can present to management the cost savings at the end of the year. I'm thinking " this is something I already do, even thought I have not made a formal presentation about it". He's say's "this is just a suggestion, maybe there is something else you can do to standout. Whatever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The more I thought about this meeting the madder I got. They want me to find a way to take my job to the next level by finding more creative ways of "shuffling paper". I DON'T WANT TO DO ANY MORE ADMIN WORK!!!! I am done, already. I understand what they are trying to say... from a company's perspective, but I am totally burned out and mentally cannot and don't want to give them anymore than what is necessary to do my job and get paid, finish school and move on. So now I am worried, they are going to be watching me more closely.
I think it's really time to move on, get my CNA license and work in TLC until I complete nursing school. I will be applying for fall of next year and hoped to stay with this job until then, but now I am not sure. I am already stressed with full time work, 2 classes at night and taking care of my daughter. I cannot endure anymore stress especially from work.
My main concern is paying the bills, CNA will be a substantial pay cut and I am not sure I can make do with that salary. Maybe I should take out a home equity, pay off the car and credit card and work as a CNA. I have been tossing around that idea for about a year. I just can't do this anymore, I have shifted my focus on nursing.
I am not sure if I am overreacting or my perspective is skewed... should I stay or move on. Any suggestions would be helpful. Sorry for grammatical errors, it's late and I'm tired.
Sorry for grammatical errors, it's late and I'm tired.