Conflict with no Confrontation

[LemonMonkey]

*THIS IS GOING TO GET RANTY*

I'm a CNA in a LTC/Rehab facility. I've been there for a little over a year with absolutely no disciplinary action taken against me for anything. I've never had so much as a complaint from someone working behind me about a patient.

The other day I get pulled aside at the end of my shift by my ADON to have a "discussion." She starts off by telling me how well I've done in the time I worked there, how much of a pleasure I am to work with according to the people she's talked to....And then she absolutely tears into me about how I've been distant, unfocused, and absent mentally. She tells me she's heard (never seen anything in person because I work nights) that I'm ignoring call lights for my phone, I don't help when help is needed and so on and so on. Telling me that work is not my time to be on my phone or to do my homework, even if there is absolutely no work left to be done. Basically, she went off on me for absolute lies.

I know exactly what brought this up, though. My usual co-worker is absolutely fed up with this job. She hates it, and really for no reason. The first thing out of her mouth when a call light goes off is "I can't Fn stand these patients" and then she'll ignore the light for 5 minutes while SHE plays on her phone. She'll then get mad because in that 5 minutes she ignored the first light, 3 other people will ring but I won't go answer them because she caused this. She's also mean to her patients and makes them wait so she can finish her game or text message or doing her bills. I asked her for help with a patient that requires 2 people to be changed, and she flat out told me NO.

I had already been contemplating going to the ADON about said co-workers behavior, but I didn't want to rock the boat since she's about 35 years older than me and has been there as long as I've been alive. But when I get accused of things that I DON'T do but the person that's complaining about me does, I just can't accept that. However, bringing it up as I'm getting yelled at just made me look like a sore loser trying to pass the blame to someone else.

I just don't know what to do about this hostile environment right now. It wouldn't have been as bad if she had come to me about it before she went to the ADON, but she just skipped that step altogether. But she's telling me to not come to her with any complaints until I go to he co-worker first.

[cracklingkraken, ASN, RN]

I don't understand.. so your coworker went to the ADON and accused you of exhibiting these behaviors that she is guilty of?

Why would she accuse you of her own behaviors and not make up something? I've never heard of anyone doing that before.

[Karou]

Well you admitted that you didn't answer the call lights for five minutes either, because "she caused it" to happen. Your coworker is really crappy, but that doesn't give you the excuse to not answer call lights. So in that respect, yes you deserved some of the blame. I know when I worked LTC we were all responsible for call lights, weather they were our assigned residents or not.

What did you do when she refused to help you change the resident? Did you ask another coworker or a nurse?

You should have gone to your supervisor about this coworker a long time ago. Do any of the other staff witness her behavior and can back you up? She sounds like a sorry employee, I agree, but you need to realize that you aren't blameless either.

Go to work, smile, do your job. If she refuses to assist you when necessary or doesn't answer a call light, document it and report it to your supervisor. If she refuses you can say, "just so I am clear, you are refusing to help me?" And while she is ignoring a call light "that is your resident. I have gotten the last few call lights, can you go help them?". As she refuses you can be documenting. Document any specific things she says, like "I hate these Fing patients".

Be factual and objective, not emotional.

[LemonMonkey]

Pretty much. It's not uncommon for us to be on our phones when it's quiet. It's just an unspoken rule that we don't say anything and phones are away by 5am. She's just mad because I won't do her work for her.

But when I tried to tell the ADON that it's really her that does these things, it just looked like I was trying to pass blame. Even the nurse on the unit (who is very new) couldn't understand why I was the one getting yelled at.

Edited to add: basically, she's threatened by the fact that no one ever complains about me, her patients are angels for me (because I actually take care of the), and I'm young and going to school to become a nurse so one day I'll be her superior.

[LemonMonkey]

Well you admitted that you didn't answer the call lights for five minutes either, because "she caused it" to happen. Your coworker is really crappy, but that doesn't give you the excuse to not answer call lights. So in that respect, yes you deserved some of the blame. I know when I worked LTC we were all responsible for call lights, weather they were our assigned residents or not.

See, that's how it's supposed to be where I work as well, but that isn't usually what happens. I could have 3 lights going off down my hall and she won't get up to help me. Never has for as long as I've been working with her. I will answer her lights for the patients sake but I try not to make a habit of answering them before she gets up because then she'll expect me to always answer them.

My biggest problem was that I walked into a unit where the regulars had been working together for years and years and no one would take my side in it. The newer nurse saw exactly what I saw, but again didn't want to rock the boat because of this coworkers attitude and vindictive actions (which management is aware of but has yet to do anything about)

[tnbutterfly - Mary, BSN]

Moved to Nurse Colleague / Patient Relations for more response.

[jadelpn, LPN, EMT-B]

"distant, unfocused, absent mentally"?!?!?!?! What the heck does THAT mean?

So how was it left? Did you get a write up? What was the conclusion?

If there are call bells going off, and you answer them--(and regardless of whose hall it is, I would answer them) is there documentation that needs to be filled out? Do you have to chart turn and repositions every 2 hours? Then I would chart them. And initial them. That way, when the ADON has a bee in her bonnet, you have proof that you have been working.

And put your phone away. Even if it was an "unspoken thing" in the past, it has been spoken to at present. So just don't take it out. Further, if they want to get the low down on who is using the wireless for their personal phone use, they can get that information pretty quickly from IT.

If your co-worker says that she "can't stand these f-in people" do an incident report. Every time. You don't need to have to hear her foul language and other random issues that she has with residents. But apparently the ADON does.

I would go along the thought process of you perhaps were not 100% perfect 100% of the time, but neither is anyone else. That you will improve where you can. That you will document accordingly, so that the ADON knows what is happening on the night shift. That you will ask the nurse on duty if there is anything else you can do.

All of this contingent on if you are invested in this job. If not, it may be time to move on.....

[imintrouble, BSN, RN]

I used to answer more than my share of call lights. I prefer to keep busy. Then I noticed I was answering call lights more and more often while the CNAs and the other nurses sat and waited me out.

I stopped answering call lights that were not my patients. The other nurses and CNAs started complaining that I didn't do my share, because my "share" had always been "most". People behave in weird ways. Perception is everything.

There's really not much you can do as your co-worker beat you to the ADON. As others have suggested, I'd start initialing the turn schedule. I'd keep a log of every light I answered for at least 2-3 weeks. Lastly, drop the cell phone. It's against the rules, and it's one thing you can point to that's concrete evidence.

I have discovered a simple truth in the 50 something years I've been alive. It's not carved in stone, but for me, I've found this is the way things work.

The first day of any new endeavor sets the tone/standard for everything else that follows.

The first date. The first day of marriage. The first day on the job. The first shift with new co-workers. The first night you answered most of the call lights, you re-set the bar.

You can make changes, but it may not sit well with the other person.

You assumed the lion's share of the work, and now you don't want to do it. You shouldn't have to do it, but the other nurse isn't going to give those easy nights up without a fight.

[LemonMonkey]

I used to answer more than my share of call lights. I prefer to keep busy. Then I noticed I was answering call lights more and more often while the CNAs and the other nurses sat and waited me out.

I stopped answering call lights that were not my patients. The other nurses and CNAs started complaining that I didn't do my share, because my "share" had always been "most". People behave in weird ways. Perception is everything.

There's really not much you can do as your co-worker beat you to the ADON. As others have suggested, I'd start initialing the turn schedule. I'd keep a log of every light I answered for at least 2-3 weeks. Lastly, drop the cell phone. It's against the rules, and it's one thing you can point to that's concrete evidence.

I have discovered a simple truth in the 50 something years I've been alive. It's not carved in stone, but for me, I've found this is the way things work.

The first day of any new endeavor sets the tone/standard for everything else that follows.

The first date. The first day of marriage. The first day on the job. The first shift with new co-workers. The first night you answered most of the call lights, you re-set the bar.

You can make changes, but it may not sit well with the other person.

You assumed the lion's share of the work, and now you don't want to do it. You shouldn't have to do it, but the other nurse isn't going to give those easy nights up without a fight.

That's exactly what has happened here. I used to be overzealous and hop on every light that rang...until I realized I was answering every light without objection from the other aide. It started to get to be too much doing everyone's work and I've been stretched so thin as it is that I had to cut back. But now that I'm not doing her work too, she wants to act like I'm not doing any work at all.

I admit, the phone needs to go away more often. But it bothered me that the other aide complained about me when she normally has not 1 but 2 phones she's playing on all night, along with using the work computers for personal use.

[Anna Flaxis, BSN, RN]

Conduct yourself impeccably.

Put away your phone, answer call lights, never say anything negative about any of the residents.

If you have down time or things are quiet, find something productive to do, such as stocking or general tidying up.

Do not give this co-worker any ammunition.

[LemonMonkey]

I always figured homework would be an acceptable thing to do in my down time when all of the actual work to be done was done. It's far more productive then sitting there tidying up what's already been tidied up. There's only so much work to be done on 11-7 without disturbing the patients.

[hppygr8ful, ASN, RN, EMT-I]

Well you admitted that you didn't answer the call lights for five minutes either, because "she caused it" to happen. Your coworker is really crappy, but that doesn't give you the excuse to not answer call lights. So in that respect, yes you deserved some of the blame. I know when I worked LTC we were all responsible for call lights, weather they were our assigned residents or not.

What did you do when she refused to help you change the resident? Did you ask another coworker or a nurse?

You should have gone to your supervisor about this coworker a long time ago. Do any of the other staff witness her behavior and can back you up? She sounds like a sorry employee, I agree, but you need to realize that you aren't blameless either.

Go to work, smile, do your job. If she refuses to assist you when necessary or doesn't answer a call light, document it and report it to your supervisor. If she refuses you can say, "just so I am clear, you are refusing to help me?" And while she is ignoring a call light "that is your resident. I have gotten the last few call lights, can you go help them?". As she refuses you can be documenting. Document any specific things she says, like "I hate these Fing patients".

Be factual and objective, not emotional.

I might also add that if you have a personal cell phone you have no business being on it at work. Set the example by turning it off and locking it in your car or locker. Where I work you get a warning for texting, then a write-up then a termination.

hppy