Clueless People

[Davey Do]

I recently sang my medical nurse wife Belinda's praises at a holiday gathering breakfast.

Belinda had just gotten off her 12-hour MN shift from working in IMU and had typically done some extraordinary work she told me about on the drive to the gathering. Basically, she had started an IV on a confused patient after an ER & ICU had failed to do so.

Not only that, but the patient, who was retired police officer, became hostile and threatening. Belinda used that fact to control his behavior by saying something along the lines of, "You were a police officer, is that correct?" The patient assured her they were. "Then", Belinda said, "you know the importance of following protocol".

The patient agreed yet continued to be loud and threatening. Belinda said, "If you don't calm down, then I'm going to have to call the hospital police".  The patient told her to go ahead, they weren't afraid of the police.

The hospital security arrived, and the patient immediately calmed down and said, "Yes sir" and "No sir" to them.

I sung Belida's praises, saying that not only did she do a great medical intervention, but she also did a great psych intervention!

A member of the gathering piped up with, "You should have said that he was a prisoner and that you were going to call the warden on him!"

In a split second, multiple thoughts went through my mind. This person who piped up refused to allow Belinda to be in the limelight for one minute. They had to attempt to say something clever and put the focus on themselves instead of reinforcing a job well done by someone else.

That low self-esteemed selfish behavior inspired me to react.

"NO!" I said, "Belinda used a point of reference to which the patient could identify. The patient had been a police officer. They had not been a prisoner. Belinda used information she knew about the patient and manipulated her media to achieve a desired outcome!"

I could have continued supporting the premise with more information, but sensed my point was driven home. Still, no one said anything, so I said, "Let's have a round of applause for Belinda!" to which everyone clapped.

These are a group of people with whom Belinda regularly socializes. Me, being an antisocial recluse, will do so only at Belinda's request, as I find them to be shallow and self-serving.

It's too bad we can't pick our friends' noses.

[Bella ' s mimi]

Totally agree with you . Brenda did a great job with the situation

[Davey Do]

Thank you, Bella's Mimi. I'm constantly reinforcing Belinda on what a great nurse she is.

Belinda's not one to float her own boat and the Clueless Ones seem to have no idea of the great things she does. After visiting with them, Belinda will tell me things like, "So and so did this and so and so did that" which are... okay... things to do or accomplish, but pale in comparison to feats Belinda performs.

I have asked Belinda, "Do you ever tell them about your work?" and she answered, "They wouldn't understand". "No", I replied, "not the technical end, but they could understand in a general sort of way".

It's just not important to Belinda, I guess. Belinda's personality reminds me of my Dad's: Low key and does great things. Whereas I'm more like my Mom- we like to sing our own and others' praises.

But even Belinda gets her fill of the Clueless Ones now and again. I'll say, "I noticed you have 't spent any time with so and so lately" and Belinda will reply that she's had her fill of them.

I realize it's a shortcoming of mine that I have little patience with those who prefer to talk about other people in a negative way and wish to discuss events and situations in what I consider a superficial manner. I prefer to discuss thoughts and feelings and beliefs and perspectives and motives behind behavior.

It's probably one of the reasons I'm antisocial, and I do try to live and let live. I am civil when I have to spend time with them, but I prefer being an uninvited introvert.

"Introverts unite!  (Occasionally, in small groups, for a very limited time.)"

 

 

[Bella ' s mimi]

Yes I agree introverts  unite . I want to tell you Davey I really enjoy your posts. 

[Daisy4RN]

As an introvert myself I completely can identify with you DD. It is usually my husband that is asking me to go to social functions with him.

I of course agree that Belinda did a great job. But are you sure this “clueless” one is truly clueless (socially awkward) and not an orifice intentionally? I have known more than a few that do this on purpose bc they want the spotlight. Sometimes people need to be knocked down a few, do you think this person picked up what you put down?

[Lunah, MSN, RN]

I find that am an ambivert - only outgoing when I choose to be. ? Anyway, Belinda did a great job, and people who don't work in nursing won't ever get it. They are just as bad as the dillweeds who think that "H" stands for "Hotel" and RN for "refreshments and narcotics."

[Davey Do]

As I often say to Belinda, "One of the reasons I love you...", I will say to you Daisy

"...you know what questions to ask".

25 minutes ago, Daisy4RN said:

But are you sure this “clueless” one is truly clueless (socially awkward) and not an orifice intentionally?

This one, out of a group of many, is either clueless or does not have the capacity to see beyond their own parochial perspective.

If I were to put tags on this individual, I would say that they are a low self-esteem co-dependent who seeks quick fixes to momentarily quiet the screams from their primal pool of pain.

It's odd, too, because two of the people closest to this individual are really okay people. It makes go, "Why?" What do they see in this individual? I just don't get it.

25 minutes ago, Daisy4RN said:

do you think this person picked up what you put down?

When I previously said that I sensed my point had been driven home, it was because of the reaction from this individual. They almost jumped when I said "NO!" and their eyes got really wide.

As I said before, I could have said more to support my premise, but that would have been like kicking someone who's already down.

I'm not surprised that you believe yourself to be an introvert, Daisy. It's probably another reason why I like you so much.

We two introverts should get together.

And each stay in our own respective spaces.

[Davey Do]

23 minutes ago, Lunah said:

people who don't work in nursing won't ever get it.

Give me world and time and I will write a dissertation on the reasons why people "won't ever get it", Lunch, but suffice it all comes from one of the two basic emotions of fear.

Fear of Realization. Fear of cognitive dissonance. Fear of letting go of their egocentristic selves.

The list goes on, but I want to go eat dinner now.

Thanks to you all for your input!