I look at my email and notice the advisor attached the student affairs' committee decision on whether I can proceed in the program. My stomach sinks and I take a deep breath as I open the attachment .."after careful consideration your petition has been denied. The decision is final. You may switch to another major here's the link...good PuL on your future endeavors. I look at the email three times -- not accepting what I was reading before me. I was numb ..my world stopped. I couldn't even comprehend what the HR employee was telling me in her office. I wasn't there. When I arrive home, my voice breaks as I tell my mother I was denied. She says it's ok find another school, you'll be ok. I go into my room and immediately flashes of memory of what I have sacrificed and been through in this program comes flooding back to me. Just as well ..so were the waterworks. I cried so hard I got myself a headache and felt woozy.
I think to myself how could this be? I wrote the best appeal from my heart..I showed examples of how I was to improve. I mean this is my fourth semester! I was right about to go into preceptorship and graduate. All of this because I didn't do the cna tasks for a nurse at the hospital. She didn't tell me her feelings until the end and got me in trouble with the instructor. I've never had a pct/cna job --so I didn't truly understand the definition of autonomy. Plus this was a peds course -I wanted to be more observation but that's where it got me. I had problems in med surg 2 but passed through. I wish I didn't. I wish the instructor had failed me at med surg 2..maybe I wouldn't be going through this right now... The instructor told me she felt all I needed was more time and that she couldn't find a reason why I wouldn't be allowed a second chance back in. There have been people who plagiarized, did an IV medication, dropped a patient but got back in. I was failed because of the deficits in my critical thinking at the end of the day. I had a friend who was failed because the nurse didn't like how she looked or another almost failed because she accidentally overslept on her alarm ..being late just once.
I don't want to be the person to scream discrimination but these people happen to be in the minority as me--and get a harder punishment than the others. At the end of the day it's all subjective and sometimes it's all about connections and who you know. A girl who drops a patient but is friends with the director of nursing and clinical instructor may never have to go through an appeals process than a girl who has no connection but shown insignificant progress.
I find myself asking god why? I'm not writing this as a woe is me but as a why did this happen ? Why wasn't I given a chance to appeal? Everything happens for a reason but what is that reason? I'm a student nurse in the cardiac Icu and I love my job. I'm learning twice as much and developing my autonomy skills but it's too late to prove that I can be successful in that program. They said all I needed was more time yet didn't even give me the chance....80 credits down the drain ...loans piled up for me and now I have to think of plan B. I was 97% done with my bachelors and now I have none. People are telling me to fight this because it's unfair to me how I was passed for five semesters in clinical rotation but they choose to fail me before preceptorship because they didn't feel I was functioning at the level expected--granted I was evaluated by a nurse who hasn't seen me in clinical on a basis but I digress. I've been told to talk to the dean, student affairs representative of the university, and etc. my friends get me riled up and amped to go talk to these people , but then when I'm calm and they are not there--I find myself just accepting my fate. I find myself saying its not worth fighting --what's the point...what will that do for me. I start going into conflicting emotions running through my head constantly of the situation that I'm in. I would never wish this upon my worst enemy.
The nurse who was my clinical instructor would tell me how great she thought I was and not to worry about a thing ....yet here I am. If it was up to her I would still be in the program but she holds little power compared to the other nurse. This is how subjective clinical can be. One nurse will think you're doing an amazing job the next nurse may think you're lacking. At the end of the day you're at the mercy of the nurse and clinical instructor. Always be on your P's and Q's because you are constantly watched whether you know it or not. This is the lesson I learned. I'll be ok...I'm studying for the TEAS to see if I can enter into an ADN program ...and this time I will know how to truly succeed and be the nurse that I intended to be.
Sorry if this all sounds rambled I'm just looking for advice on how I can proceed or words of encouragement or action I should take ... Thank you to whoever is reading
I am having trouble reconciling this thread with your previous post. Perhaps you can help me understand.
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I attended a meeting with a clinical coordinator and my past preceptor. They were concerned about my development as a fourth semester student. When the coordinator asked me critical thinking questions or things that should have been written down in report I was flustered and drew a blank. I had the information down but my report sheet was left in the nurses station. So, I decided to go off on memory of my assessment of the patient and what the patient came in primarily for. However, the coordinator started asking me questions about the patients past medical history --something I left in the report sheet at the nurses station. She felt that I could not manage two patients and therefore failed me two clinicals in. I was so upset . I get to finish all of my classes though and have to meet with the director. And its only the peds rotation! She also referred to my past struggles of needing help with my med pass and confidence in my skills. She said it seems like i need a huge amount of support. They felt like I needed more time and wasn't ready for preceptorship --they also felt I subconsciously knew as well.
My preceptor suggested I take a healthcare job for the summer and appeal to get back in the fall. She said i wasn't the first in this situation and should not have a problem getting back in "not guaranteed". But I'm scared in the position that I'm in. This is the first time I have ever failed a clinical in nursing school. I have passed through all my semesters only to be held back from graduating in 6months . I don't even know if I'm able to get back in ..or if I'm even capable to be a nurse? Maybe I'm not smart enough to think critically. My professor has always told me that I was smart but I have trouble applying myself. Critical thinking has always been my worst enemy. I have secured a Job as a student nurse in the cardiac icu in a hospital. I am hoping that this will help me strengthen my weaknesses in clinical --getting extra healthcare experience. I am also going to read the nclex review books I have purchased and write down the who what why of the pathophysiology processes of an condition. However, I'm thinking is this for me ? My preceptor told me don't think like that ..that I can be capable but idk..any words of encouragement ..advice would be nice .
So is it because you lack critical thinking skills and couldn't handle two patients as you claimed in the past, or is it because you didn't do PCA tasks or because you are a minority?
Thank you to all those showing support and showing me other alternatives I can look into is all I'm going to say. I have come to terms with what happened...I just needed a space to rant since the wound stings. I'm not looking for anyone to antagonize me just to show support is all. If that can't be shown in this thread kindly please don't post. I'm down I just want an uplift.
I sympathize with you. Many years ago, I was dismissed from an ASN program in the final semester. I had passed all classes except for one. This was my second failure and was dismissed from the program. It was devastating, but I picked myself up and continued working in the healthcare field. A couple years ago, I decided to give nursing school another try. The school I attended no longer had an ASN program, only traditional BSN and ABSN programs. I attended their ABSN program and graduated last August with a high GPA. Having more maturity and more healthcare knowledge made the second attempt far less stressful.
Thank you for sharing. I'm just looking for support and stories that show me there is a way. I'm looking for encouragement.
Thank you to all those showing support and showing me other alternatives I can look into is all I'm going to say. I have come to terms with what happened...I just needed a space to rant since the wound stings. I'm not looking for anyone to antagonize me just to show support is all. If that can't be shown in this thread kindly please don't post. I'm down I just want an uplift.
Starting a thread for sympathy that contradicts your previous statements and claiming you are being attacked for being a minority is not a way to get an uplift. Having witnessed true discrimination it upsets me greatly whe someone claims discrimination when it isn't true. It cheapens the claim for people who truly are discriminated against.
Starting a thread for sympathy that contradicts your previous statements and claiming you are being attacked for being a minority is not a way to get an uplift. Having witnessed true discrimination it upsets me greatly whe someone claims discrimination when it isn't true. It cheapens the claim for people who truly are discriminated against.
Im not here to argue with anyone . I'm sorry if I have offended anyone with anything I have felt and said at the heat of the moment when I wrote this. Thank you.
You are still pointing fingers and that probably makes this sting more. I can see that you have found your faults. But at the same time are still pointing fingers. The reason others have been given second chances while you havent is not due to the single infraction that finally got them removed in the first place. The appeals process looks at the student as a whole, not just the current semester. The others who were re admitted for what you perceived as similar or worse situations then yours, likely were either doing well or good enough in previous semesters. So based on the ENTIRE program history, were allowed to try again. You admittedly have struggled for a while and were already given remediation. You also admit that you are not as quick with critical thinking and need more time to learn then others. You also mention that you are struggling due to having no healthcare experience outside of clinical, however many students are not CNAs or techs or have any other healthcare related experience and do just fine. All of these things, plus anything you havent told us, are taken into consideration when you appeal. They apparently felt that you arent catching on and have a poor clinical and/or academic history so you were denied. You were not denied solely for this semesters performance. But rather your entire program performance. So comparing your denial to others being granted a second chance is like comparing apples to oranges.
Does this mean you should give up. We can't answer that for you. But if this is what you want, and if your are capable, then you will find another route. Even though is sucks right now. GL
I'm listening and understanding. Thanks for your response. I wrote this post in the heat of the moment ...should have left done things unsaid. I apologize to anyone I have offended. This was how I felt at the moment--I am only human. Im looking for encouragement, support, and advice. This was the primary reason I opened this thread.
I'm listening and understanding. Thanks for your response. I wrote this post in the heat of the moment ...should have left done things unsaid. I apologize to anyone I have offended. This was how I felt at the moment--I am only human. Im looking for encouragement, support, and advice. This was the primary reason I opened this thread.
I am not personally offended. It just seems like one of the things you are most upset about is that others were given a second chance when you weren't. I just wanted to give a possible reason as to why you were denied when they weren't. Sometimes a better understanding makes cruddy circumstances a little easier to swallow and may help you move on and move forward.
This is a dark time in my life right now. I am constantly in-between thoughts. Am I capable? Did I pick the right career? What is going on ....all of this running through my mind. I know this time will pass and 10 years from now it won't matter. Today's a new day...no time for sulking just move on. Understanding helps the wound heal. I hope I figure out where this journey will take me.
I'm listening and understanding. Thanks for your response. I wrote this post in the heat of the moment ...should have left done things unsaid. I apologize to anyone I have offended. This was how I felt at the moment--I am only human. Im looking for encouragement, support, and advice. This was the primary reason I opened this thread.
Don't feel bad. It is understandable to want to have a "pity party" for yourself and it is human nature to find fault in someone else instead of ourselves. Hopefully, you will realize that feeling sorry for yourself serves no purpose and you need to pick yourself up and write up a new game plan for your future (hopefully less time than it took me). Once you put this set back behind you, create your plan, follow through, and accomplish your goal you will be a far better person than you would have been without this set back. The saying "what doesn't kill us, makes us stronger" rings true. Down the road when some other life crisis happens, you will look back at where you were today and how you have overcome this adversity and say to yourself "If I can get through that dark time in my life, I can get through this crisis also".
scottaprn
292 Posts
I am having trouble reconciling this thread with your previous post. Perhaps you can help me understand.
https://allnurses.com/general-nursing-discussion/am-i-capable-975543.html
So is it because you lack critical thinking skills and couldn't handle two patients as you claimed in the past, or is it because you didn't do PCA tasks or because you are a minority?