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Client's daughter too pushy


I've posted here before, and it's been a while.

I worked in facilities, both hospital and SNF for at least 3 1/2 years. Several months ago I began working for an elderly man in his home. It started out very good. He is a lovely man, and I would enjoy continuing to care for him. The issue I have is with his daughter. Most of the time she doesn't leave when I arrive. She will get between me and my client sometimes when I am trying to assist him walking or into his car. I've told her politely that this can be dangerous, but she still does it.

Recently, he got a urinary tract infection. (permanent indwelling catheter) Before this he was able to stand up with a light boost from just me. Now he can barely hold his head up sometimes and is having issues even holding on to the walker he uses normally. Simple tasks such as bathing and brushing his teeth are more difficult because of this type of coordination. His daughter insists on both of us lifting him up to the walker and "helping him walk". Based on previous training and experiences, I don't agree with this. During previous work with a PT this did not happen.

My back/shoulders are beginning to hurt. (not asking for medical advice) The other issue is she has no other caregivers for my days off, which I have to ask for almost on a daily basis (she likes the schedule to be "flexible" which ends up me working 5-7 days a week). I'm trying to figure out a gentle way to tell her that I'm getting burned out and we cannot continue forcing him to walk in this manner.

I've asked a more experienced CNA friend and the advice is to not continue.


strawberryluv, BSN, RN

Specializes in LTC, Med-surg.

I would not continue but if you absolutely need to keep working for them for whatever reason

then I would have documentation that the daughter told you this and that. This is just in case

anything happens...


Missingyou, CNA

Specializes in Long term care. Has 20 years experience.

If you work for an agency, tell them and let them handle it.

If not, tell the daughter you are uncomfortable with it and it is taking a toll on you physically. Let her know that you can't continue unless he is seen by a therapist and that you also get to meet with that therapist for instruction on how to assist him.

If you are not working through an agency and this man falls on your shift, I will bet that the daughter will hold you responsible. Cover your butt.

I quit a Homecare job because the patients son and daughter in law did not like me to assist with their elderly fathers walking. He had a history of falls according to the family. (I was told by the agency I worked for) and had Parkinson's. I reported to the agency that the family did not like me to assist with their dads unsteady walking. When the elderly man walked he always used a walker and was very unsteady and jerky with the walker due to Parkinson's, so while he was my patient I would hold onto his arm to keep him from falling. This irritated the son and daughter in law, they told me they didn't want me helping him that he wants to be able to do it himself and not be dependent on others. Well he was always unsteady when walking but when days were worse then others i would assist when he just seemed to unsteady to walk alone. I still tried to assist by holding his belt loop, arm whatever since he was my responsibility while under my care, one day the son was visiting he saw me offering assistance with his dads walking and the son yelled at me for helping the dad walk by holing his arm. I never went back after that. I called the agency I worked for and told them I would not return to that job, because I felt that I was the one who was gonna be held responsible if that man fell, he was very old and fragile and I would feel like crap if he took a bad fall while under my care. I also told the agency they should protect themselves cause surely if that man falls while under the care of their employee they just might get sued by a family that is preventing their employees from assisting. While i do think we should never do something a patient does not want to do, safety is another issue, and if i cant be allowed to provide safe care then i don't want that job. So I would say to the op if something makes you uncomfortable when providing care either say so to the family or the agency.

I would stay. (If you like the job and things change) close mouths don't get fed you need to say something. The daughter can't read your mind the earlier you say something the better