Client claiming they want to be out of there misery!?!?!?!

MissAnnie79 · May 13, 2009

Well sounds to me like this client has some issue with depression. I hope you notified the charge nurse or the case manager about these type of comments. These can be serious. I have always found that with some elderly people they can be miserable even if they are in relatively good health but many of these people don't have close family connections or good support systems in place. If the person is in a nursing home and they are still somewhat independent I have found that many times these people are the ones that are unhappy because they aren't in their own home anymore. As far as communication with a client who is expressing these feelings I would suggest maybe asking some questions to the client as to why they feel that way, do they have any family or perhaps even a clergy person they would like to talk to. In this situation therapeutic communication is very important and just listening to what the client has to say can sometimes make a huge difference. If you are uncomfortable talking to a patient who is in this state I would ask for some guidance from a supervisor or if you are in a nursing home setting i would relay the clients statements of wanting to be out of their misery to the social worker. They can really be helpful too. Hope this helps a little bit. It is hard taking care of depressed clients. It takes a strong person with a soft touch to be in nursing.

mncna08 · May 13, 2009

i agree with missannie79

i honestly think it comes down to that person and why he/she feels that way. their could be so many reason and factors why. maybe they just need someone to sit down, hold their hand and tell them everything is going to be all right.everyone needs to know they are still wanted, needed, and loved even if it is not from a family or friend,and some people just need to hear it more than others. you have to make that call, just another great thing about the job :loveya:

but...i do know the frustrations....

at work i deal with a women who always says things like "im so stupid" "im just bothering you" or cries for attention! and i mean she cries...i am not one to ignore or put someones feelings down, but i refuse to play into some mental game for validation when i know it is just for attention, i really think some things should not be fed into....just another great thing about the job...

SuesquatchRN, BSN, RN · May 13, 2009

Depression.

And really, when you consider it, thye have reasons to be sad and hopeless. They are not going to get better, they are onyl going to get worse, they are NOT "any good" to themselves in that they are largely helpless, they need paid stangers to care for them because they have no family who can or will....

And that isn't to say that there are no people with passive/aggressive manipulative personalities, like mncna08's resident. But they're still sad, confused, and lonely.

Wouldn't you be? My husband and I have made a pact that when the time comes we will do what is necessary to ease the other one out of this life. A sympathetic doctor helps.

:)

NM nurse to be · May 13, 2009

I have had this situation come up often as well. It does take a lot of tact and you can't just blow them off and say everything will be all right. Because you don't know that and in their mind everything is NOT all right or they wouldn't be saying that. Patting them on the hand and saying it's going to be ok is condescending and puts them down, I think.

I have had several say "I'm just too old, I shouldn't be around any more" or something along those lines. I might ask them why they feel that way and it is often because they are in physical pain, which is something we can address. I also tell them I enjoy their company (and that is 99% of the time true) and would miss them. At that point, I usually ask them to tell me about something they've seen in their life and get the conversation going a different direction and that helps too.

This one stumped me hard the first few times I heard it and I know I didn't handle it well. Look at is as a chance to connect with a resident on a more real level. Even the attention seekers are deserving of a thoughtful response, however hard that may be for us :)

sonomala · May 14, 2009

I worked in a great ltc and I still cringed at the thought of spending any amount of time there. Day in day out this is your life people dying around you, people waiting to die, no hope of going back to your home your family ect. Even the best activities were still activities that were at that facility. The rns, lpns, cnas and staff echoed the sentiment day in and day out out of ear shot, if this is what we're getting by prolonging life, its for the birds. All of my family members have made strict arrangements to never ever go to an ltc.