Choosing a state to work in

[StacyAtheNurse, BSN, MSN, APRN, NP]

Ok, so I'd like to know your opinion.

My senior year is now coming to a close. (I made it!!! YAY!)

I am originally from NYC, and other than my fiance, I have no one in Florida.

I currently attend a nursing school here in Miami, and work for a hospital as a CNA. I was also awarded a work repayment scholarship, which will pay my 17K in loans, in exchange for 2 years of work for their magnet hospital (which is a different hospital than the one I currently work for. My scholarship is nice because it would essentially leave me debt free (the rest of my education is paid by the Gates Foundation--I am one of their scholars).

However, I find myself between a rock and a hard place.

My mother is back in New York, and she is struggling with my little brother and sister,and needs my help both physically and financially. She has been waiting for the day that I graduate and come back to New York because she will have another employed adult in the house.

I have been deciding for months, on whether to accept the money from my scholarship and the job offered to my by my current employer as an RN in any specialty I'd like upon my receipt of licensure. OR if I should take the job offered to me as a nonclinical prison nurse by an older friend of the family who is also an RN.

I've made a comparison list to help whomever would like to give me some input on this. I don't want to disappoint anyone, and I don't want my mother to drop out of college AGAIN to take care of our family because she is alone.

NYC Florida

Work $42/hr New Grad nonclinical position $24/hr position any specialty

Housing $400 contribution to bills/rent 30% of salary to rent, 15% to bills

Debt 17K debt to pay on own No debt in exchange for 2 years service

Transport Public Transportation no gas Own car, pay gas and car insurance

Clinical exp No clinical experience Hospital experience in Med/Surg & ER

Work Hours 5 8hr days 3 12hr days at each hospital

Family present? Yes No

Fiance Employed? No Yes

Guaranteed Job? Not guaranteed Based on availability of hospital at that time

Ability to help family? Extensive Limited

Let me know what you think? I have been killing myself over this because it determines where I take NCLEX.

[A&Ox6, MSN, RN]

I voted that you should stay. The caveat is that if you don't intend to work clinical, the prison job might not be bad. Also, not having Liam's may allow you to send more money home. After two years, you may find it a little easier to get a job in tri state are. Also, you say that the hospital will allow you to work the specialty of your choice. That's an amazing opportunity.

[nurseprnRN, BSN, RN]

The prison job is not one for a new grad. Totally inappropriate; you need excellent clinical skills and maturity for that, and not just the ones you learned at the beginner level in school. And if it's a nonclinical job, that will get you exactly nothing in terms of your career, and could actually set you back considerably.

Take the long view here. You have a real job waiting for you, and your loans will be paid-- girl, are you nuts? Take it!

If your mother needs money, send her some; put a regular amount in your budget. You will be in a far better position to help her and your brother and sister after you have two full years of real clinical experience and all your loans are paid off. And ... wait!

A fiance? You're not going back to live with your mother.

[Mauri727]

I'm writing as someone who's mother has depended on her since she was a teenager.

Stay in Florida. Send money back. At some point, you have to start YOUR life and do what's best for YOU. Otherwise, there will come a time where you resent your mother. That's how I feel now. I would love to quit my stressful, fulltime job so I could focus on school but I can't because my mother decided to assume that I would live with her forever and got a house that she cannot afford without a significant portion of MY income. It gets old quickly. Then when you add a husband and child in the mix, it gets worse, not better.

[RunBabyRN]

I agree that you should stay. For SOOOO many reasons.

Send money home if you must, but don't let your mother rely on that income forever.

The opportunity to have the loans repaid AND get experience in a Magnet status hospital? Yes.

Work in a prison as a new grad? NOOOOO. That would be setting you up for failure. That is NOT the kind of job a new grad needs. There would be so many things wrong with that... SO many.

I also agree about being engaged and living with your mom, AND her counting on that forever. Nothing good can come from that. As an adult that had to move back home once as an adult (thankfully my mother didn't rely on my income, though I did chip in, of course), I can tell you that it will wear on your relationship faster than you can imagine. It's not worth it.

Stay in FL and take advantage of the great opportunities being presented to you.

Good luck!

[TheCommuter, BSN, RN]

I understand doing things for family out of a sense of obligation, but never in a million years would I want to return home to live with my parents. As the old saying goes, "You can't go home again."

You are a young adult and it is time to take two steps forward with your life. In my opinion, returning to the nest to live with your mother and younger siblings would be taking two steps in the wrong direction.

Enjoy life while you are young, because you will only be young once. Take advantage of the work repayment scholarship. Enjoy your fiance / soon-to-be spouse. Send your mother money if you feel obligated to help her out financially.

Stay in Florida!

[StacyAtheNurse, BSN, MSN, APRN, NP]

Thanks to all of you for your response!

I would like to add that although there are overtones of obligation, I am a person who wants to, and prefers to live with/next to her family.

I finally got the chance to live with my mother when I was 10 years old. I lived with her blissfully until I was 18 years old. Then one day I woke up, threw a dice on the ground, chose Florida as a state and Barry University as my school of Nursing out of a hat. (I have always been a free and impulsive spirit). I simply said I was taking the car I had bought earlier, stuffing all my belongings into it and driving to a state I knew nothing about and had no one in.

My mother looked at me, said are you sure? And accompanied me on the 4am drive from New York to Maryland. I bought her a plane ticket back to New York so she could get back to work later that day, and here I am 3 years later about to graduate from Nursing school.

I've been with my fiance, for almost as long as I've been with my mother (9 years with my fiance, 10 with my mother).

It's something I'll have to bring up with my mother again to get her honest feelings. She told me to stay in Florida and get my experience. She was the one who got me to this job and this scholarship. Oh But you should have seen how she lit up when my friend offered me that job in the prison.

I'm so tired of my mother suffering so I can be happy and comfortable.

I guess I just wish there was more I could do for her, and not just money, because that is nothing. If she really wanted/needed money she'd get another job. (Trust me, I know, my mother worked like a dog when we first immigrated here and I took care of the kids while she worked a 24/5 job)

Eh, I'm rambling.

Thanks guys.

[RunBabyRN]

Thanks to all of you for your response!

I would like to add that although there are overtones of obligation, I am a person who wants to, and prefers to live with/next to her family.

There's a BIG difference between living WITH and living NEXT TO family. I live next to my in-laws. We would KILL each other if we actually lived together. There's nothing wrong with moving next to your mom at some point, but I really think you should wait until you have at least the two years completed down in FL.

Since you mentioned immigrating here, is there a big cultural thing with family living with family once you're married? I know this is something that can really vary in other cultures.

I'm glad to hear that your mom is encouraging you to stay in FL. Sounds like she's a great mom. :)

[StacyAtheNurse, BSN, MSN, APRN, NP]

Ha. Reading this...... In hindsight, being with my family was worth more than any job could have given me. Because while i love my hospital job i absolutely HATE my life now.