Choosing a state to work in

I voted that you should stay. The caveat is that if you don't intend to work clinical, the prison job might not be bad. Also, not having Liam's may allow you to send more money home. After two years, you may find it a little easier to get a job in tri state are. Also, you say that the hospital will allow you to work the specialty of your choice. That's an amazing opportunity.

The prison job is not one for a new grad. Totally inappropriate; you need excellent clinical skills and maturity for that, and not just the ones you learned at the beginner level in school. And if it's a nonclinical job, that will get you exactly nothing in terms of your career, and could actually set you back considerably.

Take the long view here. You have a real job waiting for you, and your loans will be paid-- girl, are you nuts? Take it!

If your mother needs money, send her some; put a regular amount in your budget. You will be in a far better position to help her and your brother and sister after you have two full years of real clinical experience and all your loans are paid off. And ... wait!

A fiance? You're not going back to live with your mother.

I'm writing as someone who's mother has depended on her since she was a teenager.

Stay in Florida. Send money back. At some point, you have to start YOUR life and do what's best for YOU. Otherwise, there will come a time where you resent your mother. That's how I feel now. I would love to quit my stressful, fulltime job so I could focus on school but I can't because my mother decided to assume that I would live with her forever and got a house that she cannot afford without a significant portion of MY income. It gets old quickly. Then when you add a husband and child in the mix, it gets worse, not better.

I agree that you should stay. For SOOOO many reasons.

Send money home if you must, but don't let your mother rely on that income forever.

The opportunity to have the loans repaid AND get experience in a Magnet status hospital? Yes.

Work in a prison as a new grad? NOOOOO. That would be setting you up for failure. That is NOT the kind of job a new grad needs. There would be so many things wrong with that... SO many.

I also agree about being engaged and living with your mom, AND her counting on that forever. Nothing good can come from that. As an adult that had to move back home once as an adult (thankfully my mother didn't rely on my income, though I did chip in, of course), I can tell you that it will wear on your relationship faster than you can imagine. It's not worth it.

Stay in FL and take advantage of the great opportunities being presented to you.

Good luck!

Thanks to all of you for your response!

I would like to add that although there are overtones of obligation, I am a person who wants to, and prefers to live with/next to her family.

I finally got the chance to live with my mother when I was 10 years old. I lived with her blissfully until I was 18 years old. Then one day I woke up, threw a dice on the ground, chose Florida as a state and Barry University as my school of Nursing out of a hat. (I have always been a free and impulsive spirit). I simply said I was taking the car I had bought earlier, stuffing all my belongings into it and driving to a state I knew nothing about and had no one in.

My mother looked at me, said are you sure? And accompanied me on the 4am drive from New York to Maryland. I bought her a plane ticket back to New York so she could get back to work later that day, and here I am 3 years later about to graduate from Nursing school.

I've been with my fiance, for almost as long as I've been with my mother (9 years with my fiance, 10 with my mother).

It's something I'll have to bring up with my mother again to get her honest feelings. She told me to stay in Florida and get my experience. She was the one who got me to this job and this scholarship. Oh But you should have seen how she lit up when my friend offered me that job in the prison.

I'm so tired of my mother suffering so I can be happy and comfortable.

I guess I just wish there was more I could do for her, and not just money, because that is nothing. If she really wanted/needed money she'd get another job. (Trust me, I know, my mother worked like a dog when we first immigrated here and I took care of the kids while she worked a 24/5 job)

Eh, I'm rambling.

Thanks guys.

Thanks to all of you for your response!

I would like to add that although there are overtones of obligation, I am a person who wants to, and prefers to live with/next to her family.

There's a BIG difference between living WITH and living NEXT TO family. I live next to my in-laws. We would KILL each other if we actually lived together. There's nothing wrong with moving next to your mom at some point, but I really think you should wait until you have at least the two years completed down in FL.

Since you mentioned immigrating here, is there a big cultural thing with family living with family once you're married? I know this is something that can really vary in other cultures.

I'm glad to hear that your mom is encouraging you to stay in FL. Sounds like she's a great mom. :)

Ha. Reading this...... In hindsight, being with my family was worth more than any job could have given me. Because while i love my hospital job i absolutely HATE my life now.