Can't stand partner..


I need advice badly. Let me start off by saying, I feel like an awful person. I've been crying for almost an hour because I feel so guilty. I do not know where to turn. I know as a nurse I'll have to get used to working with different people.. I have been working with people for years in customer service (retail), school, many different environments and I usually get along well with everyone, and those I don't get along with I usually just deal with it, no problem.

But this guy I got partnered with.. I was told I was partnered with him because he needs guidance from someone "strong". At first, I was flattered and rose to the challenge. But now after about 2 weeks, I can no longer stand him. His ideas for the project we're working on are insane and off-topic to what we had planned. I already mentioned we wouldn't be able to access a tv/dvd player or anything, yet he keeps mentioning some video he wants to bring in about stress (which is UNRELATED to our topic.. which is safety r/t strangers btw). He has many more strange ideas as well.

For the paper we wrote I did the majority of the work, but then on top of that, I had to re-do his part of it, because he didn't even bother to use complete sentences. This may sound mean, but I am beginning to dread the sound of his voice.. it is constantly ringing through my head and he is haunting my dreams. I've been awake all night and all I can hear is his voice over and over again. (actually, another girl in my class mentioned she also cringes when he speaks up in class..)

I have never been this stressed out yet in nursing school. Not with the papers, projects, clinicals, tests, labs, etc. I LOVE all that. But now, I feel ready to give up.. If I cannot work with this guy, maybe I'm better off not working with people at all.. I should be able to work with anyone, right?

I want so badly to be able to just get along well, I really am trying. But today I had to ignore his phone call for fear I would just explode on him or something. I'm at the point of dropping out and telling my instructor I cannot work with him even if it means having to leave nursing school.

Any help is greatly appreciated! And please do not be afraid to be honest.. Am I just a horrible person for even thinking this way about another person?? How should I cope with this? We have another almost 2 wks to work together..:banghead:

canoehead, BSN, RN

6,837 Posts

Specializes in ER. Has 30 years experience.

Tell your instructor! You don't have to stay with a partner that is unable to comprehend the assignment.


38,333 Posts

Your gut instincts are telling you something. Listen to your instincts. Tell your instructor. Do not feel ashamed. You are entitled to your feelings. And right now your feelings about this guy are making you sick.


124 Posts

It sounds like your instructor already has had some issues with this guy.. you need to tell her.. Explain what is going on, how much of a load you are covering in a group project, ect. You should not have to have a meltdown or fail because of your partner.

It would be something else entirely if you just couldn't stand this person, for reasons that are superficial or bogus.. he is hindering your education, so speak up!


96 Posts

i agree, you should speak to your instructor. obviously she knows he doesn't have the best grasp on what he's doing and that is why she paired him with you, the stronger student. i'm sure since she has a little understanding of the situation there might be something she can do. as long as you show that you are doing what you need to do and you've tried numerous times to collaborate and work things out with your partner you should be fine.

hang in there, i know how frustrating it can be! hope everything works out:nurse:


962 Posts

Ditto to all the above posts. The guy sounds like he's beyond annoying

WDWpixieRN, RN

2,237 Posts

Specializes in Med/Surg <1; Epic Certified <1.

I can't imagine, after all the work you must have gone to to get in to nursing school that you'd let someone else drag you down and out.

Start taking some kind of action to prevent your doing something that you most definitely will regret in the very near future!! I think talking to your instructor sounds like a good first move....Good luck!!


77 Posts

Specializes in NICU. Has 5 years experience.

Ok everyone, thank you so much for the replies! I have taken the advice that everyone has agreed upon and spoken to my instructor. Unfortunately, I can't get out of working with him, but she did give me some advice that I thought I would share in case anyone out there has a similar problem

I am to start delegating tasks with him as clearly as I can. If he is still not understanding things, I will get him to call our instructor. She made it clear that I do not have to do all of the work and I should be telling him straight out when his ideas are not appropriate or are off topic to the plan we had intended.

I am still afraid he will bring my grade down, as he works all weekend and this project is due tuesday. I am putting my foot down and refusing to do all of the work, just so he can get a good grade. I'll tell him what to do, and if he decides not to do his share, that will have to be his problem. I can no longer keep holding his hand and dragging him through nursing school, esp. when he clearly doesn't belong here.

How some of these ppl make it into nursing school is beyond me!

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