with bully/harrassement

gr8rnpjt, RN · May 13, 2008

I am not sure exactly what it is she is doing and who exactly she is targeting? Sorry, I just think there are probably details you don't want to get into and perhaps rightly so, but I am not clear on what she is doing.

Little Panda RN, ASN, RN · May 13, 2008

You do need to put it all in writing. "No one should be bullied". I have worked with people like this and have myself been the flavor of the month. It is horrible and it should be stopped!!!

I would go to the meeting and state the facts. Dont let her get you going or arguing. Stay calm and stick to just the facts. She needs to know that this type of behavior has to stop. It is better to confront this person with a mediator in the room. That way what you say does not get blown out of perportion.

I hope all goes well, keep us updated.

houstonlvn · May 13, 2008

She does things like staff split (with the juveniles we work with I (or other nurse) will give them certain instructions, and she will tell them different thing, or if we tell them we willnot engage with them, she will invite them to have a coke in her office...KNOWING they are trying to ditch class and abusing medical dept.), hides supplies, refused to give us keys to our new dr's office till we had to go to our other supervisor. If we put perimeters on giving one of the kids a certain med she grills us and demands that we give her the name of the person/pharmacist or was it our dr that told us those were the correct perimeters. She told some of our medical providers only to talk to her because she is manager, she isn't, and I don't care about that, but she wasn't there, and they were needing medicaid codes and told only to talk to her, so they thought we would not help them.

She will write in the pass on book "take out the trash" "put sick calls in the chart" (on the shift that the person she is targeting on). BOTH nurses do our jobs WELL, and do know what our job is. She reads our documentation and has tried to convince the other nurse that there was something wrong with that documentation and to HELP the other one out,,,,,,shouldn't that nurse write something underneath, (like we've made a mistake), or outright talk about how our documentatin should read and we SHOULD have said blah blah blah... She tells people the kids hate us. (that is just minor, but very hurtful)

She reads our time sheets, and goes to our supervisor if we are a minute off on it, BASICALLY she tries to micro manage us in every way you can think of. If we need a form, she makes it so it is as difficult to do for us as possible, if we gripe, she loses the form, (and we didn't know how to make them at the time)

he give trys giving us direct orders on what she is supposed to do, and hands us a sheet and says "I need you to get this done", and walks off.

I told a adminstator there that I would help teach her how to do her blood sugar and give herself insulin shots, and she went to our dr. and our supervisor asking them if that "THINK THIS IS A WISE IDEA" and other words that you could READ she was trying to get them to tell me not too. which they didn't.

I am not even saying all the little petty things she does that we know she is trying to exclude us, goes to the back with staff and is heard loudly whipering our name and when it gets VERY whispery like she wants us to know she is talking about us. I mean there are things you KNOW someone is doing to get to you, and how do you explain those.

I am also in fear that given the right circumstances she can drop our authorization for a kids dr. appt. LOSE our documenation or accuse us of something we haven't done.

I don't know WHY I do care about her. I just can't be hateful to someone I feel just feels bad about themselves, but it is truly creating havoc in our workplace and both of us nurses have called and had sessions of crying, tryng ot think of what we would say to her the next day if she starts something...etc etc..

SOUNDS NUTS HUH? and she does, she makes us think we are off our rocker.

MrsMommaRN · May 13, 2008

its so scary when someone behaves this way at work. you are almost afraid to cross them for fear of them doing something worse in retalliation.

as for your situation. i hope that you have all of your documentation for the wed. meeting. sit down and write every issue that you have with this person. all though you may not say it all just have it handy.

don't let this girl get the best of you. she has definite boundry and attention seeking issues. she needs to be told and clearly defined what her job is. let the powers that be know that she is bringing morale down on the unit.

sadly people like her will never change. they need to be put in their place, but too many times people are afraid to do so.

good luck to you let us know how it goes.

Nidawi · May 13, 2008

i've worked with people like that before. they make your entire day miserable! i got to where i dreaded going to work, as it felt like i was going to my own execution! anyway, from my own experiences, it turned out that the people felt like they had no control in their lives. and the only thing they felt they had control over was at their job...controlling others and making them miserable. misery likes company, of course. i bet she's really unhappy with her life outside of work, and perhaps she's very unhappy with herself. who knows? perhaps she jealous because she wants to be a nurse, and maybe she feels like she can't accomplish it for some reason, so she's targeting you guys. ?

[color=#483d8b]anyway, i think having everything written down is a great idea, so you can go prepared. i would also do what you can to not allow her to intimidate you at the meeting. (or at least don't show her any emotions that she can feed off of, you know?) i would be matter of fact about everything, not attacking her and being defensive, but more assertive instead. if she snaps and goes off for any reason, stay calm. let it be known that you do have witnesses if they are needed, too. perhaps you could let it be known that you are more than happy to help her if she needs help, but you would like to be shown respect, as well as all the others, just as she does. a hostile work environment is never okay.

[color=#483d8b]i guess that's what i would do. i don't know if that helps you or not, but i hope in some way it does. i've been in situations similar to that before and i understand how you feel! i also know it's all easier said than done. i do hope it all goes well for you. i'll keep you in my thoughts! please let us know how it goes.

[color=#483d8b]~n

Nightbloom · May 13, 2008

I have worked with people like this also, just in a different field. Personally I would be doing a lot of documentation to CYA. However, I would also be looking for another job. This person has been there longer. The administrators have probably heard complaints in the past and probably don't really care. The place I left still has that 1 person working for them. She sabatoges others jobs and has gotten people fired. When I went to HR, they told me they already knew about her. It didn't make 1 iota of a difference. Be careful. I hope your situation turns out better than mine did.

houstonlvn · May 13, 2008

Thank you all, you've given me exactly what I need. What to address and the manner to address it in.

IS SCARY still, but I feel I at least have the tools to accomplish what is needed.

allnurses Guide · May 13, 2008

What a horrible envionment to have to work in. My suggestion would be to make it personal, I know you have said that it is not a specific issue between you and her but unless you can get your co-workers to support you in your complaint then you need to deal with the feelings and behaviour that is affecting YOU.

Document everything, everytime she makes it difficult document it. If you think she is overstepping the mark and telling you your job document, dates, times, people incidents write it all down. THat way you are collecting evidence to support your problem.

This is stuff you can take to your HR and manager, and tehn to the meeting with her you will be able to give specifics.

Katnip, RN · May 13, 2008

If you can get the other staff members to write the things she's done to them, and what they've witnessed, and take that with you to the meeting as well, then it might help.

Also, make sure each incident is documented with dates and time if possible. That makes you look much more credible.