I can't turn off the alarm in my head.†Tinnitus or psych?
I need more energy, is there a pill for that?†When I saw him, his cellie had given him the solution: snort instant coffee. I recommended against that.
I see rainbows.†Eye problem, medication side effect or psych?
I have a abacus in my juggler brain†That would be ‘abscess on my jugular vein.
My eyes keep rolling in my headâ€. That was actually a medication side effect.
I've been asking and asking but nobody will give me a bandaid for my hangnail!â€
I had one that said...my leg hurts real bad...can I get it cut off?
I just love the ones that've been suffering with a problem..so they'll come up to Medical for an emergency visit, which they're charged $5 co-pay and $5 for any meds they receive. Had 1 who had leg pain for two weeks, yet never bothered to place a sick call slip. Shaking my head on that one and I told the inmate...ANY problem you have...submit a sick call slip...the PA's usually see the inmate within 3 days. We have 2300 inmates at our Medium Security prison so triaging is a must
Coworker had an inmate/patient at her window refusing his new psych medication. Upon review of the refusal(sorry not a sick call slip but had to post) he stated "DO not want, it makes me feel Frayed..."
Sick call slip recently kited in..."The Fungest on my stuff is getting worser and worser".... The things that make us giggle.
Had a few good ones: One inmate came up to my cart with a very serious look on his face and handed me a sick call kite that said "I have broken heart syndrome" then walked away smiling and laughing. Its actually very common for new nurses to get those where i work.
Another one : "If i dont get the gas out of my ass it will kill me"-this guy had some major obsessions with his bowel functions
One sick call slip I had from a male inmate said "I'm having pain in my ovaries". Another one said "Med line is taking too long and I'm missing rec. Can you please do something about this??"
NCCHP states that sick call is valid when an 'actual' symptom is reported. Lots of these would be thrown to the side or asked to re-instate what their issue was if your facility followed those standards. I love the ones in spanish from guys I have been speaking english to for the past 3 months during med pass. I confronted one guy and he just exclaimed "I can speak it but can't read it nurse, hullloooo!" Put me for a loop that day :)
I was contemplating writing a book at one point, but over the years I've forgotten some of the amusing ones. Two that I remember:
"I am having firm stools" Yeah, I know, it's amazing. Clear, to the point, spelled correctly, I was impressed. But his second line read "just had my **** bag removed". Yup, there it is.
My all time favorite, and the one I was considering using for the title of my book "sores on my mouth, think I ate some bad virginia".
The things that make us giggle.
Orca, ADN, ASN, RN
2,066 Posts
One inmate at my facility claimed to have not had a bowel movement for three months. "You would have exploded by now", I told her.
A couple of kites that came in when I worked the clinic in a male medium security prison:
"I am losing my hair and I want to know if you can give me anything to regrow it."
An inmate was requesting Viagra "because I'm about to get out and I want to be ready for action."