Being "Mom" and "Student"...

Nursing Students General Students

Published

Hi,

I am 29 years old, a mother of two young boys (ages 3 and 1), and I am starting nursing school in January 2007. I have a BA in journalism, but jobs are too hard to find in this field, and when I do find one, they pay terribly and I find them very unfulfilling. I have worn several hats in this field over the past 8 years, and none seemed to fit me nor fulfill me.

My sisters and several of my inlaws are nurses, and they all love it. So, after much thought and prayer, I have decided to go back to school.

The thing is, I have been a stay-at-home mom for a year and a half now. However, finances have been super tight, and we realize that it is important for us to have a second income in the future.

Even though I am truly excited about starting nursing school and beginning this chaper in my life, there is a part of me that is nervous about how this will affect me as a mother.

I realize that I will not have as much time with my boys. I think the main thing I am nervous about is the "guilt" associated with that. My husband says to think of it in terms of 'I am doing this FOR my boys' -- meaning that, I will be able to provide more for them in terms of money for college funds and other things in life ... this will "enhance" their lives, not "take away" from it.

I know of mothers who made it through nursing school and on to successfuly careers. I know it must have been hard on them in many ways, however. I was wondering if any of you have young children, or even older children, and how it affects you as a nursing student ... and also how you cope with juggling both motherhood and student?

I guess I just need some encouragement in this area. I love my little boys so much and I do love staying home with them ... It's just that, I also know that the time will come when they are not at home anymore ... when they are in school ... and I will need something else fulfilling ... I even think about when they go to college -- If I did not pursue my dreams of becoming a nurse NOW -- maybe I would regret it later when my sons are off at college and I wished I had done something to better myself and provide a significant income. You know?

And, there is also a part of me as an individual that wants to help others and make a difference in their lives. I have not really felt that in my time as a journalist -- I always felt like I had more to give. I rarely went home at the end of the day thinking, 'I really felt like I touched people's lives today and showed them the love of God.' I have just always felt like, surely there is something else out there for me.

Any words of wisdom, advice, encouragement, etc., is welcome. I am glad to have found this site.

Thanks,

Alli

My kids were 9 and 15 when I started, now 11 (almost 12) and 18 adn I got pinned a couple nights ago.

I really found it do-able as long as I scheduled and planned. I would mark study time off on my calender, and they had to learn to respect it. It helps to have a supportive spouse (as I do). My youngest used to enjoy the two of us doing our homework together, so maybe you can have your boys work on little projects etc while you study.

I managed school (usually 2 or 3 days a week) work (18 - 20 h/week) and also being a girl scout leader. As well, we always had a myriad of doctor appts between my daughter and her asthma/allergy shots and my husbands oncology appointments. Then add in school functions--band concerts, plays, parent meetings etc. The point is IT CAN BE DONE.

School is busy but it does not have to become all consuming unless you let it. I definitely had times when no one was allowed to bother me when I was studying or writing a paper, but the other side of that coin is that when I wasn't studying, I made sure I was fully with them. I gave myself one day a week that there was no studying allowed and only broke that rule when prepping for finals each semester.

My daughter (almost 12) came up on the stage at the end of the pinning ceremony and put her arms around me and told me she was proud of me. That is why I did this and you will be the same shining light to your children. WHen they see their mother accomplish something they will realize that they can follow their dreams too, no matter how old they are when they discover them.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I have four children, 16, 13, 9, and 20 months. I was home with my first three kids doing transcription because I absolutely refused to leave them in a daycare. Then the DIVORCE happened.

I am in nursing school now, 14 months to go. My older children don't remember the sacrifices I made to stay home with them when they were little and the 9 year old doesn't remember the short time I had him in daycare until I remarried. My 20 month old won't remember it either. But it is TEMPORARY.

My point is you will be finished with school before you know it, it only lasts a short time. Then you will have the time to be room mom at school and all those field trips and you will have a good paying, fulfilling job. The kids also just really want YOU to be happy and then they will be as well. Even if you have to do daycare for a while to finish your education they'll be well cared for and you will be working towards a better future.

I wish you the best of luck!!!!

Debbie

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in orthopaedics.

i started school when i was 30. my husband had and still has a low paying job with the county, we have two boys who are now 6 and 4. i was a sahm and knew i had to do this not only for myself but to make things better for all of us. with nursing you have so many options. yes you will spend less time with your boys and perhaps leave them in the care of someone else, but they will surrvive and so will you. the time you do spend with your family make it great. yes there are days that i leave my four year old at day care and cry beacase i have to leave him there, but i pray to god and i know in my heart i am doing the right thing.

i wish you the best in your schooling. its a doable thing with a family.:icon_hug:

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Med/Surg ICU, NICU.

It isn't easy being a mom, wife and a nursing student. I have two daughters that are 12 and 14.

I still make all of their sporting events (when I am not at work) but I take my flashcards and books along. There are always times that they are sitting on the bench and they could care less if I watch their friends. I do not volunteer at their schools any more and I have learned to say no to the PTA for book fairs, craft fairs ect.

My oldest daughter loves to help me study and she thought it was cool that she figured out dimensional analysis (Chemistry) before I did. My youngest daughter just wants to look at all of the pictures in my books the nastier the better.

They have both said that they will go to college as soon as they are out of high school because to wait until you are a mother is too hard.

As another poster said a supportive spouse is a must. If it weren't for my husband and children being supportive I don't know that I would have stuck with it. They really pick up the slack with the housework and don't complain too loud if dinner is Hamburger Helper again.

Best wishes to you.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I started my school when my son was 2 (now he is 3). When I was going through all of my prereq's my son would help me study. (still waiting on my letter for the fall admission). Not only did it help me with school but I got to spend time with my son. He had so much fun and learned a lot. If I was working on something where all I had to do was read, he would read (or look at his books). I learn my color coding things so he would color. At night he would ask me to read to him, he didn't care what so I read my notes. My husband is supportive of me goiing back to school (sometimes I think he is only interested in the money), but he is supportive. There are times he didn't understand what I was going through so I handed him a book and told him to learn it. He gave me the book back a few minutes later and told me he was sorry. It takes quite a bit from your family while you go to school but just remember "you are doing this for your kids." Your children will understand when they get older and they will respect you for it. It is all about giving them a better life. Another thing I do is write letters to my son. There are so many things that I want to say to him but he will not understand so I write him letters so he can read them later in life and see how much it hurt me to spend so much time studying or at school. It is just to let him know that while I was busy with my nose in the books that I was thinking about him the entire time. Good luck to you and I know you will make it through all of this. Whenever you get the chance, give all of your kids a big hug and kiss and tell them how much you love them.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in med surg, school nursing.

I have four kids, ages 6, 4, 2, and 10 months. I just completed my first year of nursing classes and have one more to go (coupled with 2 years before this of pre-reqs). It was a crazy first year - my baby was only 6 weeks old when I started. However, I can say that I survived and did well and my children are no worse for the wear. They are so young and will never remember me not being there for something. They are very proud of me and are excited that mommy is going to be a nurse.

I have the summer off so I am going to make it up to them. I have lots of fun day trips planned!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in med surg, school nursing.

My point is you will be finished with school before you know it, it only lasts a short time. Then you will have the time to be room mom at school and all those field trips and you will have a good paying, fulfilling job. The kids also just really want YOU to be happy and then they will be as well. Even if you have to do daycare for a while to finish your education they'll be well cared for and you will be working towards a better future.

So true!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Cardiac/Tele/Step-down.

Your doing a great thing and your husband is right. I have 2 girls at home and have missed alot this year. (My 7 yr old is getting a reward tomorrow for all A's this year and I'm going to miss it) because I have clinicals! BUT! in 1 more year I will be finished and only work 3 days a week and have 4 days to spend with my girls. Be proud of yourself. Plus with me going back to school my husband gets to spend special time with the girls. Yes I was jealous in the beginning but I keep thinking of what this is going to do for our family and how close of a relationship they have now . Money is tight and Michael had to picked up a 2nd job throwing papers but it will be all worth it when I'm done! BTW On Career Day at School your boys will get to show you off! Mine did and I cried all the way home because my daughter was so proud to show off her Mom the Nurse!!!!!!

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I have three kids -- 17, 15 & 3. I completely agree that it is do-able. You need to balance your work-load and NEVER put an assignment off until the last possible minute to complete (trust me, that will be the time that you end up at the Pedi's with a sick kid and have to pull an all-nighter).

There are good things about being in nursing school when you have children. Here are a few:

1. You can make up the silliest songs based on the information you will have to memorize while you push your child on the swings at the playground. Heck, just rolling off the names of the bones in a silly voice gathers tons of giggles -- and you have memorized them!

2. Your children see how hard you work to study, and you are a role model for them. I overheard my daughter talk to her friends about the need for self monitoring when it comes to studying once they are in college... I was so proud!

3. Speaking of being proud, my teenage son has actually said he is proud of me! For any of you who have teenagers, you know having a teenager even admit that they have parents is an accomplishment.:rotfl:

4. My three year old has learned that it is possible for a woman to be a nurse, a teacher, AND a doctor (PhD). She has met a few of my professors when I've gone to my school's campus when I have not had classes. From a three year old's perspective, it was really cool, and fun to see where Mommy goes to school while she's in school.

There are lots of positive outcomes. Congratulations on making the first step & good luck!!

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Juggling is a good word for it. I was a SAHM before I went back to school -OMG-3 years ago. My children are currently 5 and 7. I am going into my last semester in August. When I look back it is amazing that I have come this far. (my husband, although supportive, is often gone working since money is tight at the moment) I feel a huge sense of accomplishment when I take into perspective what I have done.

It's been hard at times for sure. The best advice I can give you is this: DO NOT get so wrapped up the competitiveness of it that you miss out on your family life. I have made it to my sons basketball and baseball games. I get my daughter to ballet every week. I do not have to spend every available free moment studying. That was the hardest thing for me when I went back-missing out. And you do somewhat, but your still there for the really important things. You will get into a groove that works for you and your family and it will just fall into place. Just remember-always prioritize...the kids are more important than the beds getting made!

Good Luck!!

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I feel your pain. I have a preschooler and I just finished my first semester in school since a graduated w/ my first degree 10 yrs. ago. I think the toughest thing for me was getting quiet study time. If you can manage that I think you'll be ok. I managed to get a 4.0 last semester and that's something I never did in undergrad when I was 18, unmarried and childless.

I'm only going 3/4 time and so far it seems to be working.

Good luck!!

Up Vote Up Vote ×

you can do it!!! i hv 2 kids, both boys (5 & 2). the older is already studying; i see that he's enthusiastic about studies coz he sees same fm me. being a student mom is a very challenging career but its all worth it... you just have to enjoy what you're doin in order for you to achieve your goal!!!

tips if you're already a student mom:

- avoid conflicts between you and your spouse!!!

- before you go to sleep, prepare everything for tomorrow's another bz day so you'll avoid cramming in the morning and forget your ID when ur already at the gate of yr school.....

- remember that "time is gold" so wake up before the sun rises so u can make use of it for studying while they are all stl sleeping.....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

- proximity of ur house is an advantage in having quality time for ur children

- during classes, listen attentively to all your professors; this will lessen ur time in studying coz u can already rely fm ur stocked-knowledge

(he!he!he!)

- if you hv exams, review in advance, spend at least 15-20 mins a day reading each of ur subjects so u'll not cram, a day b4 ur exam

- find time for physical fitness activities

- experience per se, actually, my classmate hv read it fm some articles w/c i dont knw yet, sex helps before you study for an exam.... w/ ur husband, take note!

believe me, it will work.... honestly, im not that intelligent but i always get high grades during quizzes and exams; sometimes, i happen to be the top 1!!!

gud lak!!!!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Add a Comment