Being harassed while on Vdap

[nurse_girlie]

I know it's been a while. All of the hoop jumping got overwhelming and I faded off after I finally was able to acquire my license. Everything has been...ok. I've been managing well. But, something has arised that I don't know how to handle without some sort of counsel from people who understand this side of things. I'm gonna start with this was the first man I dated in THREE years. We've been split up for months now. When we split (bc I was finding he was unstable) he had threatened to share "images" of me. It just made me more sure of my decision and I knew he was unwell. He apologized for his behavior the next day. Whatever. But...after not having spoken for months he randomly started messaging me this past weekend, threatening the same things. And sending me the..images...to let me see he did infact still have them and was "going to do it". Invited me into bed with him and his new woman all kinds of very sick, sick things. I asked him to stop messaging me. And the messages kept coming. Number one, I went and filed a report. Looking at his record...he has past harrasment charges that I was unaware of (lesson learned in many things here). But, I am supposed to go down today for press charges .. talk to the magistrate... I want to pursue the charges especially if he is going to keep randomly contacting me with threats...and has a history of domestic abuse (ps is why I didn't date for three years) and harrasment. But, I know on our monthly self reports it asks have we had any "legal troubles in the civil nature". Would i be required to share that sort of business with the board? If so I almost just want to leave it as a report being made in case further trouble arises or he does it to yet another woman....thanks, fellows.

[catsmeow1972, BSN, RN]

My recommendation. Absolutely not. This is not YOUR legal trouble. My interpretation of ‘legal troubles of the civil nature’ is speeding tickets that result in court appearances and the like. In other words, things that *I* have done. I would consider this highly personal and none of their business. Regardless of what it seems like, you do have a right to privacy. My take on all of this is that if nursing and your employment is not involved, then it’s not their business. Essentially what is happening, intentionally or not, is that you are being discouraged from filing a complaint for harassment bordering on domestic violence. There is something very wrong there.

Just my opinion.

[nurse_girlie]

This is what I've been telling myself all morning. That it's not *my* legal trouble. And after esacping an abusive relationship in the past, and knowing the man is still abusive with other women ....I just feel like I have to do this. To protect myself and also future women. The things that were being said were vile. The threats just keep coming back up. And he even appeared in the same store I was in two weeks ago, although I'm not sure if that was just coincidence. I hate that I am afraid to take a stand for myself because I am also in fear of the BON. Thanks as always, cats

[catsmeow1972, BSN, RN]

As I’ve said before, these programs operate on a culture of fear. As long as you fear for your livelihood, they have control. You refused to give this creep and the prior creep control, don’t let the program do the same.

I would say file your complaint, move forward with charges and stuff the BON where this is concerned. Follow your gut instinct.

My thought is that say for example you owned a property and had to evict your tenant. That’s civil legal issues but what business is it of any program or the BON. If they expect you to verbal vomit your private business (that has nothing to do with nursing) onto their little forms (that quite possibly nobody even reads) than they should be more specific in their questions.

[Ponymom2]

Aside from all the BON business, make sure this pig gets it in his skull that you.are.not.afraid. of him. Make sure you do not get all girly-hysterical over his threats. You're in a better place right now than he is, or he wouldn't be pulling that crap. Don't forget it..

[Wizard 1]

Indeed. Follow your instincts.